Couch 127: The Wayward Couch

My friend gave me a bottle of Obsession Symphony white wine for Christmas, she is the friend that got me started on wine in the first place lol and it is really good!

Today on the way home from work I was thinking about the conversation t and I are going to need to have Wednesday about the email I sent her last week. I'm trying to plan how I should best open the conversation about it. Right now I'm at "So. I have 2 dreams I want to talk about today but before we get to those, I guess we need to discuss the email I sent you last week..." and just trail off there and hope she starts talking so I don't have to say it again.... eta she does like to talk, so I'm pretty sure she'll just jump right on in there....

eta again: i hope i don't have to remind her that the fact that i even shared the uncomfortable piece of self-knowledge shows how much i trust our therapeutic relationship to handle it.

I normally share with H any e-mail I sent to our marriage counselor. But the ones I sent to him and my T on Christmas Eve were really sappy, so debating whether to share...since we see MC tomorrow (he thanked me for the e-mail, said it was kind, and wished me a happy holiday--T did not respond, but I know she has her family in for Christmas). Guess I should share...

I've been wanting for a long time to ask t if she would consider an occasional 90 minute session.... this might just be the time when I actually get brave enough to ask.... I wouldn't be able to afford it very often, but I figure with all the overtime coming next month, this is one time I can afford it. Has anybody ever asked for a longer than usual session?

((( hugs ART ))). I know that feeling.

My counselor has given me extra time sometimes when he doesn't have anyone scheduled after me. It feels like such a gift.

I hear his harp alert go off on his phone and I panic if there is no peace and there is more to talk about. It seems to be a gift when it needs to be.

I hope that that would happen for you. I've not asked for it. It just seems to happen as it needs to.

I pray it does for you. I pray that it's a gift.

ETA. typo

Thanks Trail! She has given me extra time here and there that I haven't asked for in advance or paid for, and I am so grateful when that happens! I would insist on paying for this much extra though for sure.

I have done that. It was not a problem on her end at all (at least, if it was, she didn't let on). It's kind of amazing how the session deepens with that extra time. Very different than having two 50 min sessions on different days.

Thank you art, sorry I fell behind with this thread.

I did end up sharing, and H said that what I said was sweet. So that made me feel better

I can imagine! One time not too long ago we had scheduled only 30 minutes but I asked to extend it to the normal time and of course she was agreeable and yes, it did deepen. I think that will happen with going 90 minutes too.

My T and I do 2 hr sessions about 1-2 x a month.
They sre really amazing. I feel like we get likr 5 times as much done, and it lets me bring up really sensitive issues that i don't always feel we have time for in regular sessions.
Its amusing though because i brought it up two years ago and my T said "no, thats just not how i do things "then last year she says " what would you think about doing longer sessions sometimes?" Not sure what changed . Maybe she went to a conference or something.

There have been times that our marriage counselor has let our sessions go as long as 15 or 20 minutes over, and that has made a significant difference at times. I think it's hard to fit human emotions into a 45-50 minute window. MC seems to try to make the session end on a good note and not stop based on time if things are still tense/one of us (usually me!) is upset/in a bad place. It often makes him run late--which can be a bit annoying if he's, say 15 minutes late for us--but I feel it's an acceptable tradeoff because he gives us the extra time we need sometimes, too. (I have mouthed "sorry!" to his clients in the waiting room when leaving before).

But there were definitely times with both MC and T where I knew in advance that I wished I could have had more time. T is pretty strict on time boundaries--even if she doesn't seem to have someone right after me (like, there's no beep on her office phone indicating her next client had arrived and/or there was no one in the waiting room). But MC seems to fit it more to the situation. Pretty sure I'd be the same was as him if I were a T. Though, as T has mentioned before, MC has to apologize a lot to clients for being late.

Wow! I bet a lot could get accomplished in that length of time.

I'm thinking that t doesn't see anybody after me now that I'm going on a weekday after work - we get done around 6:30. That seems kinda late. I'm going to ask anyway - she knows how to take care of herself and say no if she can't! I hope she's agreeable though. I'm thinking I might email her tomorrow and ask if it's possible for this time - since I'm taking January off.

I love this!

heh - I specifically said email her tomorrow because I am drinking wine tonight! Yes, I am one of the ones mentioned in the usual couch disclaimer "we speak from experience" in that regard.

Sipping. I am sipping wine.

Wine is not meant to be sipped. Wine is meant to be GUZZLED. Preferably at the same parties where pants are optional.

I see now how they become optional!

Y'all are a bad influence!

And I'm glad! Glad, I tell you!

I lay down on my bed to read. New cat fell asleep on top of me. Now, except for the area new cat is lying on, I'm cold, and can't get under the blankets without disturbing her.

I am not much of a wine drinker. I like a glass of good port now and then -but I rarely drink wine.

I've never had port.

The one I'm drinking (er, sipping!) tonight is Obsession Symphony, it's a sweet white wine. I'd never heard of it before, my friend gave it to me for Christmas. But it's so good I told hubby I think I am going to order a case.

H and I went to this bed & breakfast for our first anniversary. One of our guinea pigs (the young one of two) had just died, and we weren't in the most festive mood. The innkeeper kept insisting that we go have some port and chocolate, which they have in the common area in the evenings. Which would be great, except neither H nor I like port, and chocolate gives me migraines. It was also on this trip that we learned that just because a place has TVs, doesn't mean it has cable. When we were hibernating in our room, we had very few options... Really, it just cemented our decision to never stay in a B&B again (also had bad experience on part of our honeymoon with one). Impersonal hotels/motels all the way!

Yeah cuz cats only sleep 18 hrs a day it would be a shame to wake her.

New cat is high octane energy (still an adolescent). I don't think she sleeps more than ten hours a day. Which is what I'd like to sleep myself.