Couch 127: The Wayward Couch

A couple of years a go I could only find 2000 of my posts so Doc John gave me the google search code.

I have been SO tempted to wean myself off my effexor the past couple of months, especially because I had to cancel my November appt, and didn't schedule another one until January. BUT, i went a weekend without taking it a few months ago, and my T put it together that I swung into a full depressive episode over the next few days. I just thought I was feeling super extra sad and ragey!

Because of that, I shall wait until I see my pdoc in a few weeks.

The party was louder than I ever imagined. It was extremely hot (I'm very hot natured) and there was a roaring fire too. He's almost all grown up now so I can skip these in the future, right? Good night Couchies!

Yes, please wait. Effexor is not a medication to mess around with. Brain zaps, severe mood swings, constant crying, it was awful. I wouldn't recommend doing it without a taper med. I took a big risk. Could've ended up in the emergency room. I would not wish the side effects of coming off Effexor on my worst enemy.

I don't know if it's the very first one, but it's definitely in the first 5 if I had to guess.

Art you were born to wear a crown! It just suits you somehow. I should make that a part of my career advising.

Goodnight yous guys. I'm exhausted. For anybody in other parts of the world: Good Morning/good afternoon. Have a good day.

Night Jersey!! Sleep well.

Art. The tinsel crown on your head is truly stunning. I agree you were born to wear it and remember you are truly a princess of who you were created to be. I say that with all sincerity and honesty.

Night Una. Sweet dreams.

Yay I'm now on vacation for over a week.

I agree.

I'm a pragmaticist! (Not everybody knows the difference. And quite honestly, the difference is entirely unimportant for most people, but it's always a thrill to find that my actual professional designation is recognised! )

Thanks for posting the thread to the early couch - it was the first one I posted to, and there's some names there of people I haven't thought about for a while. Such as critterlady, and tkdgirl. Also, here is what I believe to be my second post ever on the couch. Some things really have not changed. *sigh*

And yes, I remember quite well that people would post pictures of themselves - I was one of those who posted a video, once. I would not do that today! So I guess some things do change.

I loved when the couch thread opened, it's brought me out of my shell. I would never dare start a thread or even post prior to the couch because I was in a very hard place in therapy and literally everything I've read on PC would trigger me to no end. That was years ago. I can read other threads now without getting triggered, but I miss XT so much recently that I try to stay off the other threads. The couch has always been safe for me. And even now with my inconsistency of of coming to PC, I always know the couch thread will be here.

At 1pm EST that's 6 hours from now, I start my first 3 hours of trial for the potential new job. I also have an interview lined up tonight. Because there is not a solid offer for the job that I'm trying out, I feel that there is nothing wrong with me still going to interview with other people until an offer is on the table.

Awww thanks youse guys.... I kinda feel like wearing it again today!

morning guys .again i am struck with the morning blues .i have crafting to do and an apt with my cardiologist. i just want to be pain free. and im having such a hard time with christmas. i ended out sending the mother a gift card for christmas and im scared to tell my T .i know she will be mad at me . she wants no contact with her at all . not sending her a gift is just not who i am . i couldnt handle the guilt . i have been feeling horribly guilty about all of this . i know she is horrible and will hurt me over and over again but isnt that what im doing to her right now . i hate christmas this year so bad

Doing the final washing and packing for our trip down to my parents tomorrow. My husband has surgery this afternoon, but I will have some time this evening to do my clothes packing then. Gifts are wrapped (so much easier not that the kids are older), and now to make the list of all those little things that are easy to forget. We'll be leaving about 5AM tomorrow since it is easily a 10-12 hour trip depending on how many times we need to stop for meals and stretch breaks. Oldest son and his fiancee are house and dog sitting for us since they both have to work over the holidays (he's a mail carrier - crazy time of year for him). Looking forward to a week with my parents and sister. The boys are exciting to be going on a trip for a change; it's been awhile.

(((granite)))
I don't think your T will be mad at you. She would like you to cut contact for your sake, not her own sake, and I bet she understands really well that you are doing the best you can.

Granite, I agree with what Crocus said. T has your best interest at heart. She won't be mad at you. And as for sending the monther a gift card-if that's truly what you felt like you needed to do to take care of your feelings then it's okay and it's what you needed to do. One day, when you are further along in your healing process-those needs may change. Hugs.

My trial for the job starts in 2 hours. Anybody have any tips on how to handle 6 week old twins alone? Yikes.

Hugs granite.

Hi couchies. Mad at old t, I think. May start a thread on it but nervous to. Feel like buying stuff to try to forget my problems but I probably shouldn't.

Boobies checked! I was on a bus at 7:30 this morning heading out, and on my way home by 9:30. Got a mammogram and my retinas checked on a health bus parked in a drugstore parking lot in the next town. Is this a great country or what. Seriously i feel very lucky to have access to such good public transportation and health services.

Granite: Your mother would ACT hurt if you didn't send her a present. I am pretty sure she is incapable of feeling anything but her narcisstic rage and self-entitlement. What would happen is she would just try and guilt you for her own PLEASURE, because she wants all control of you. But-you ARE doing your best, and when you think your T is mad at you for this kind of stuff, I think what you are hearing is her anger AT your mother, because she knows what a tangled web she weaved around you.

Good luck!!

6 week olds usually sleep a lot.

Velcro. That is a pretty accurate description of my mom too.

((( Granite )))