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Old Dec 23, 2016, 01:11 PM
ilikecats's Avatar
ilikecats ilikecats is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: United States
Posts: 669
Today my T had a small schedule mix up with me and another client. In her calendar she had me at 11 and this girl at like 12, but in her head she had had it the other way around, and she had texted that girl about seeing her at 11. So we both showed up at 11. She saw me, since I was the one at 11 and she had gotten it mixed up in her head, but seeing the other client made me think of a lot of questions. I want to know her name, how long she's been seeing my T, what she's there for, if my T loves her too, what their relationship is like, and whom T likes more. I know my T can't tell me any of these things, and I didn't ask, but now I'm very curious. I've always been curious and a bit jealous about T's other clients, but seeing one in person and knowing that she was another one of my T's clients makes those feelings even stronger. I also know now that my T texts her other clients too. I already thought she probably did, but a tiny part of me hoped that maybe I was special and the only one she texted. Now I know for sure that's not true. I also wonder if she hugs that other girl. She won't hug me. I doubt she would hug other clients if she doesn't hug me, but what if she does? What if the reason she won't hug me is because I smell or something? And what if she does love that girl too? Does she love her more than me? Has she been seeing her longer than me and have an even better relationship with her? I guess I'll never know the answers to these questions. I'm just trying to process everything. And I guess my question for you guys is how do you deal with curiosity and jealousy about other clients?
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  #2  
Old Dec 23, 2016, 02:25 PM
Anonymous58205
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I have never seen any of my ts other clients as they are always by the time I get there. I know some of people he same people my t knows and this makes me jealous because our relationship is different. I have colleagues that see my first t as a supervisor sir and that is weird too. I have had to set up boundaries around that because I get so jealous about their relationship that I didn't want to know anything that they talked about or when they met with her. I can really understand your curiosity about her as I am sure your t would. I am sure if you asked her about it she would be willing to explore the reason you want to know all of this and would it really be helpful to know any of the answers, my guess is it wouldn't because what if our t did say they loved the other client too or they did like them more. I think there is an element of self sabotage and punishment here.
  #3  
Old Dec 23, 2016, 04:50 PM
Chummy2 Chummy2 is offline
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Member Since: May 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 341
I have this with T1. I don't see that T so much. I'm in group and I still have to decide what I want with this T.
The times I saw another client come from her room, I felt extreme anger towards that client. I wanted to know how other clients were in session. Did T like them better than me? I know I must be one of T's longest if not the longest, client. It hurts thinking about her with other clients. And thinking that maybe they get more than me... (like a hug).

I have 2 groupT's and groupT1 was first my individual T (when T1 went on leave). These 2 T's are very different than any other T I've seen. Maybe because they also are schema therapist.
GT1 gave me a card for passing my exam. And she's open and honest and kind. And then I started group therapy. And I would see her being like that with other members too. I'm glad only one or two other members had her as a T before group, otherwise I might be even more jealous.
But sometimes it makes me feel less special. Like it's all just a act. She's like that to all her clients, or at least the ones that want her / need her like that. I just feel the need to have someone (and preferable a T) to find me more special/betterwhatever than everyone else. So I want T to like me more than her other clients. I've talked both T's about this. I won't get the answer I want.

But how to deal with it? I don't know. I'm just stuck wondering and doubting.
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