Giving letter to ex-T explaining my experience

OP: When I wrote a similar letter for T1, the right choice for me was not to send it. However, I wasn't forced to see him in a different context, so it was possible to get over him without having to see him. I don't know what I would want to do in your situation, but I wish you healing whatever happens.

I have faults??!

To me it's a no-brainer. If a T terminates you and you suffer as a result, and there is something you need to say in order to suffer less, why the hell not. My sense is that some therapists get very little meaningful feedback and live in a fantasy world where therapy is as pure as the driven snow.

If she subtly abused you, took your money, then crushed you… I personally would not be worried about her being upset. She should be upset about that and should know the truth. And if she cant handle it, she can always speak to her own therapist about her hurt feelings, and so on. I understand your nervousness though.

I think it's a really good idea to give your ex therapist that letter. Therapists desperately need honest feedback. I hope it will also bring you some closure.

It has been a long time coming and a TON of work. But, I now feel I understand it all. Unfortunately, in due fashion for her, she responded but not with a time to meet. She has now taken back control which pisses me off. One more try today and then she'll just get it put under her door.

Why not just mail it?

She works less than a block from me. I wanted to deliver it to her to explain something in person. I originally wanted to meet with her to talk so this is an improvement from before.

I'm sure you've made progress, but it doesn't sound like you're over her yet. It's why you want to give her the letter. What do you expect will happen? Do you think this will give you closure even if she reacts in a non-positive way? Or could it prolong your issues with her?

It sounds like you have a plan that works for your life and your xT is ok with it. I hope it goes well for you and xT, and that those community interactions remain friendly/cordial.

I'm 90% better but my experience with her will always be a big part of my life. I expect to explain to her why I'm dropping it off (vs mail) and that I'm in a much better place because she did terminate me. Almost like a thank you. Regardless of how she acts, it will be closure because this is the last thing I'm waiting for. And, it's hard. It's like a death. It is especially difficult because we have mutual friends and have kids in the same sport. After multiple discussions with my current therapist, this path seemed the most healing for me so it's the one I'm taking.

If she doesn't act right, it will further solidify my feelings that she wasn't a good fit for me and I will rise above.

I'm so glad you have progressed to this point! You know what you are doing and sounds like you are well prepared for any outcome. Still, I hope it all goes good for you. Please let us know how things turn out, if you like.

Yes, best of luck to you, soccermom.

It's not easy to drop a bad relationship cold turkey.
There is always the feeling that it must be a misunderstanding and if only one could spell out ones position clearly enough, it could all be fixed.

I know it's not easy. My relationship with my ex-T still affects my life...almost 2 years later.

But I don't get the sense from the OP that she's trying to "fix" her ex-T or the relationship. I could be wrong. It sounds more like she wants to end on good terms. I don't know if that's possible. I hope so if that's what the OP wants.