Couch 129: The Semiprime Couch

Oooh...kinky.

Reading during lunch and I just laughed so hard soda came out my nose!!!

I so needed this conversation today!

And where did exhankster disappear to while this whole conversation is going on? Because I mean..If hank can add to it then please do..lol

I am a lesbian - corn cobs are not symbolic of anything for us.
Except good teeth.

Ive been out getting manhandled by my rugby playing ryan gosling look alike hunky little omg same age as my baby nephew chiropractor.

Dont bother me im busy!! Lol just kidding.

Boy while the cats away the mice do play! Corn on the cob, eh?

It's been quite a day on the couch....

I texted my son this morning to see how he's doing today, but he didn't answer. He's supposed to be at his t session right now, so i hope he went. Worry wart mom here.

What are you worried about?

Cuz he was so upset last nite

It could be possible that he was sad or hurt or whatever, cried and told you about it, and today he is feeling better and going on with his life. For some, from what I have heard, crying and feeling heard is cathartic and then they don't dwell on it. That is how the therapist explained it to me when she was going on about something or other.

I try not to be this person. But- I sent t an email really out of haste and excitement yesterday afternoon. It was a picture of an acceptance letter. I wanted to share it with him because he Has help me talk through the process of goals and steps for my life. He hasn't emailed me back. And he really is terrible at emailing in the first place, but I just thought for this one he would send something back like congrats.

Thanks SD you're likely right...

This is how my H tends to be. It's like we have a fight, and then he just puts it out of his mind. While I tend to dwell on it and worry about it. So yeah, Art, could be just that your son got out what was on his mind, and he's OK now.

Awkward moments: Running into one of your daughter's teachers when you're out at the local taproom for happy hour. At least none of us (H was there, too) was particularly intoxicated...

Thing is, do you think he wants to live with roommates? Like i wouldnt tell him to go, then kick out your h too. But then im not a big fan of the h. I understand the concept of not making the child responsible for the adult decisions. But neither should the child bear the burden. And right now son is doing that. I wish my dad would have stood up to my mom for me, instead of making me suck it up. Same situation only all the genders have been changed! He kinda did, but not enough.

Eta - just woke up from a nap. Boy that chiro does a number on me. I dont know how cougars do it! They must be younger than i am!

la la la. anyone around? i am drinking and am boredddddd.

I am here watching ER, being pissed at my h.

I am drinking too. Stood up to h. More in a few when i get to my laptop.

I can't drink when I'm this depressed. Watching Adult Swim and waiting for it to be time to go to sleep.

I'm flip flopping between reading the couch and watching TV. H went to bed. He worked 14 hours today. We are so F'd when we get our taxes done next week because the affordable care act based our subsidy on what he made in the past. He made more last year, and I don't think he updated his income with the marketplace, which means they are gonna take it from our taxes and we will probably end up owing.

PS-I'm not drinking.

I wish I was drinking.

You're right, una that my son should not have to bear that burden. I hadn't even looked at it that way. I need to do some thinking about this.

Still drinking, but sipping not guzzling. It's really tasty, a fruity white zinfandel.

So yeah. I stood up to h earlier. Son is out with friends this evening, so we are alone in the house. We were both in the office, him at his desk me at mine, and mine is by the door so when I pushed my chair out and turned around to talk to him, I was kinda blocking the door, not intentionally, but I was. And I just started talking to him. I told him how hurt our son is, how he feels like he is a burden to his dad and how he just wants to feel like his dad is proud of him. I asked him, would it hurt you to tell your son that you are proud of him? and he said "for what? He's not doing anything to be proud of right now." I said yes he is! Dig deep! Find something, no matter how little, you feel proud of him for! He said "well I told him after the accident that he did good getting help from the police." I was like dear, that was almost a MONTH ago. He needs to hear positive things from us every DAY right now. Would it kill you to tell him you're proud of him more often? I mean seriously? And he said "I guess it would." I asked him why. He said he didn't know. I said I am not trying to attack you here. I am just trying to explain what it's like to have negative voices in your head and needing outside approval to help counteract them. H said "Isn't that what the therapist is helping him with?" I said yes, of course, but we can help too, how hard is it to say while he's playing his bass "Wow son, that's sounding really good! You're really doing well!" But he doesn't. Sometimes he says it to me, and I pass it along, but why can't he say it directly to son? I said he needs to hear it from YOU. He needs to know that his Dad loves him and values him while he's learning how to value himself. I told him son said that he feels like you think he's a loser. And he said "If I thought he was a loser, I would kick him out of the house." I asked him well then why can't you find something, any one little thing at all, that says to you he's NOT a loser, and tell him good job for that. Actually just talk to him about ANYthing other than criticizing him. Ask him how his day was. Even THAT would be enough. Don't just go knock on his bedroom door when you get home from work and say "Did you make your budget?" without even saying hello. I tried not to attack, I didn't yell, I did get emotional, but I said a lot of the things that are on my heart. He didn't get mad, actually it was worse he kept making jokes, and it was really pissing me off. So I said "I am trying to talk to you here. Please stop changing the subject." And he said "I don't know what you want me to tell you." I said I want you to tell me you will say something nice to your son. He said fine. And then the cat distracted us and the conversation was over. I hope I have given him some food for thought.