Why do I have a bad session a week after a great session?

I feel like this is turning into a trend or something. When I have a really good session (as in I say whats on my mind, we talk about things I've been hiding...), the following week it's the COMPLETE opposite. I don't say whats on my mind, the hour flies by, and I feel like we don't get much done.. I don't get it, it's like this happens every week..

Had a great session last week (previous thread) and then just got home from todays session and it was so blah.. Like we barely spoke I don't even know what happened tbh. Then at the end my T said that going in Monday is too soon so she basically pushed so we changed the day to the following week so I don't even go to a session next week.

I have 0 clue what just happened.

Its kind of like sitting down to study. You can fool around and waste an hour looking at emails or cat videos, OR you can get right to work. Im not that great at discipline, but i did learn to really start my t sessions after just a few sentences of "whats new in the world, whats new with you?" type stuff. I am still conscious of it, esecially now when a session can easily turn into a political whining hour. Also ask her to help you stay on task if you wander - mine does. I DO wander!

Hmm, I can definitely relate to that. What's happened recently though is that I've been so horrified by the thought of wasting my minuscule fifty minutes that I've been very aware in the moment of using the time as well as I can.

I find that noting down/journalling stuff that feels important during the week and checking it before/during the session can help me to feel that I'm 'getting stuff done'?

Maybe subconsciously you're rebelling against what happened in last week's session where you revealed a lot to T? Maybe that leaves you feeling vulnerable, unsafe, uncomfortable, afraid, exposed or something so that when you arrive the next week, you hold back or retreat from T?

Perhaps on some level the "great" sessions scare you? Or maybe it's just an organic pattern. Progress, a break, progress, a break, progress......

Maybe it's some kind of push-pull dynamic. You pull someone close--but then emotional closeness feels threatening or you fear you will be let down. So you push them away. It's pretty common.

I have no clue because yeah it was scary when I opened up but it felt really good. I don't know what happened today but it seems to be like this literally every other week. Now I'm feeling horrible and anxious and wish I had told T I wanted to come in next week but I felt like she was pushing so hard for me to say okay we can skip next week... I don't even know what's happening.

I think that sometimes my T would deliberately ask about easy things, after we had broached a really difficult topic, so that I didn't become overwhelmed. He shared that plan with me sometimes and I agreed that it was sensible.

I used to make sure to talk about real issues I was facing - and bring them up as soon as possible - but I still found that alternate sessions were intense and powerful (which made me feel closer to T) and the sessions between were somehow disappointing - didn't dig deep, felt superficial, etc etc. T said I should expect to feel differently after different sessions - they wouldn't always feel the same way.

(I'm not sure if it was the same context but I remember him saying also that I couldn't expect people in my life to always show the same degree of friendliness, warmth, etc etc.)

Not sure if that is helpful. I thought of it after less successful sessions, but not sure how much it helped! I also think that it is different if you are NOT (or hardly) speaking in the disappointing sessions. That is something that needs to be addressed. Are you comfortable with the personality style of T?

I go through the same thing, but I'm not sure if my reason is the same as yours.

For me, it's simple: Being open makes me feel vulnerable and therefore a bit uncomfortable.. So I'll open up during therapy one week, and the next, I'll retreat back to my "safe space" because I'm not prepared to make myself "vulnerable" again. Then I eventually regain the confidence to be open. Rinse and repeat.

Thanks for the replies everyone. It was scary to open up but honestly I rather feel scared for an hour than deal with what I'm dealing with everyday. I emailed T asking if I can go next week for the session.

This was my pattern at one time, as well. It's actually still my pattern within sessions, but from one session to the next I can be more consistent.

I had an intense session two sessions ago. Then last session I was chipper. I talked about little of significance. We laughed and talked, but we didn't process much at all. A few month ago I was getting irritated at myself for this chipperness. I looked for a pattern. I use it to reestablish my safe relationship with my therapist. It happens either at the beginning of a session before I drop a bomb, so to speak, or in a session after a really intense session. It bugs me this week that I spent the last session doing this chipperness and wasted a whole session, but my mom reminded me that if I didn't psychologically need it, it wouldn't be happening.

Yes! When I look back at it, I do that to sort of like relieve the tension or something like that. I hate myself when I do that too, like I waste 60 minutes of valuable time after waiting a week, only to wait another week.

But I've noticed that slowly I'm becoming more aware that my pride is taking over so I'm pushing that aside and just trying to be more open with my T. Never thought id even be able to in the 2 years I've been seeing her but I guess now it's finally starting to happen.