Re-Connected with My T

So I will be seeing my T tomorrow after a 2 week break!! He called yesterday, apologized for what happened between us. He said he realized that the last session did not go well, and it was him, he was burned out. He said he was feeling frustrated, and unable to get reach me, he is worried about me and found himself thinking about my case all the time, and he just didn't feel that he was helping and needed to take a step back! I get that, I have to live with my feelings and emotions daily, I want so bad to just step back and give it to someone else!!

Anyway, we talked, and he still thinks his colleague that runs a trama group and speacializes in this stuff would help me, and he said it wouldn't be permanent if I went that route, he would still be my primary T. I told him I am not against that, and if I go that route now, at least it will be because we both feel it is best, not because I felt he was abandoning me! He said he will never abandon me or reject me, he is with me to the end

I asked if he was uncomfortable doing this next phase of healing with me, the inner child work. He said no, he just wants to make sure he can keep me safe, and be able to guide me the right way!! He thanked me for giving him some time to think, and clear his head.......I told him next time just tell me, don't sound so vague.........I was totally losing it, thinking you were history and it was my fault.......

So I emailed him last night, with just a Thanks
He emailed me back with a bit Thank You!!!

I love my T

From what you explained I feel this could be a dangerous situation. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
he is worried about me and found himself thinking about my case all the time

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A burnt out therapist can easily do damage or over react to situations. A 2 week break is a temporary fix to the situation. What else is he doing to manage his feelings? He's emotional overly involved in your case, this is not good. I think it's a warning sign. If it were me I would thank him very kindly and ask to be referred to someone else. If nothing else please, call the College ( or the body that regulates him), explain the situation and asked them what they think you should do?

confused, that is great you are back on the same page with your T and were able to discuss the topics that needed discussing, such as the abandonment issue.

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I told him next time just tell me, don't sound so vague.........I was totally losing it, thinking you were history and it was my fault

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You were so brave to tell him this and sounds like it worked out well. He reassured you and now he knows he needs to communicate better with you so he doesn't provoke undue anxiety.

So, are you going to go see the trauma specialist and keep your current T as well for other stuff?

Confused,
I am sooo happy for you!

Yes, today I talked with T, we had our first session since the break. He is going to talk with his colleague and ask her a few questions for me. If I see her, I will also have my T available to me, he said he will make himself available to me. I will then return to him for the rest of my healing, anger release and so on.

It was a calm meeting actually, we discussed what happened in the break down in communication. I agreed that I have to tell him if he is helping or not. I asked him that I know it is up to me whether or not I continue with him and he would never drop me as a client, but do YOU feel comfortable working with me on these next issues, he said yes, and that I may have to guide him on what I want.

We ended our session with him asking me what I wanted out of him. He feels that I am taking the ball and running with this. He used riding a bike as a analogy, when I was teaching my kids how to ride, you held on and didn't let go, the more confident they became the less I had to hang on, until I was just standing behind them with my hand near the seat, they thought I was hanging on, but I wasn't. He said that is what I am doing now, he is there, ready to catch me if I fall, but he thinks that I am doing and progressing alot on my own. So now I have to figure out where I want him to go with me, what I want him to do to help me. Part of me feels like he is giving me back some power that I have never felt I had, and part of me is scared to take that step off the cliff, I know he is there to catch me, but feeling that being the one to make the decisions and control the healing from this point on is scary!!!!!!!! He is waiting for an answer from me, he told me to think about it and email him with what I have decided........any ideas???

I am scared, nervous, and still feeling some abandonment issues.......going into inner child work, is not his speality he will help me, he will refer me to his colleague, he will do what ever it is I want.........never had anyone tell me it is in my power to handle my own things.........scared!!

Hating life right now.........

I hope you will take my earlier advice. A psychologist who is too emotional involved will only make mistakes. I am concerned because this is what first started to happen to me, did the option of him as primary but he was still burnt out and then became more overly emotional involved. I have posted my story ....My therapist , my almost rapist......it's a tough read with *triggers* but I think you should maybe read it. (my therapists initials C.E.S.)

Good luck

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confused4ever said:
I know he is there to catch me, but feeling that being the one to make the decisions and control the healing from this point on is scary!!!!!!!!

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One of the most important things my T ever said to me was in one of our first few sessions. He told me that only I knew what I needed to heal. that was very empowering to me, and seemed immediately to me to be true. For how could he know? And I resolved to try to really listen to myself, all parts--unconscious and conscious--and try to discern what it was I needed to heal. If I got a clue, then I followed it, bringing T along with me. I chose my own path to healing because I am the only one who knows where I need to go. You can do it!! Just listen to your heart and your soul, and do what needs to be done. Your T is there for support and advice. Ask for his help often. Good luck!

Thanks Sunrise

I did what you said, I listened to what I needed and what I should do to continue this journey. I emailed my T and told him what I needed from him, and that I know I have to call the shots on how to proceed now, and I want him there with me to guide me catch me and encourage me to go on. I told him I would work with the inner child but I need him to help me through this area. He emailed me back, with "No problem I am with you all the way!" I feel better, still scared that I am calling the shots and he isn't telling me to take each step. But I understand what your saying and why this has to go this way!!