Did I terminate therapy with my T too soon?

It's been almost 8 months since I terminated therapy with my T. After classes started this semester at the university I attend, I am remember the advice that was and is still helpful to me. But then, there are other times in which I remember that there were many reasons why left my T.

She didn't let me take notes when I needed to jot down some important points because she often went at a faster pace than I could handle.
While I was experiencing tremendous stress, fear and anxiety while I was in a support group ran by a social worker that was supervised by my T, she kept telling me to stick it out. However, the T didn't admit that the group was badly ran until I left the group. Shortly after this, the social worker left the counseling center. For me, it was very hard to trust what my T would advice after this incident.
There were times that she was wrong about something, but would insist that she was right. For example, in one of the classes I took two years ago, I met a girl who was easy to get along with and had a very serene personality. But she wouldn't wash her hair for many weeks. Since I didn't want to catch lice from her, I told my T that I didn't want to be friends with this acquaintance. The T told me that she was sure that there was no reason to fear, and that I would not catch lice. So, I asked her if she was sure that wouldn't happen. She said yes, I'd be OK. Looking back now, and remembering what my sister went through when she caught lice from someone at elementary school, I don't feel the T has my best interests in mind.

What do you all think? Did I terminate therapy too soon?

My kids have had lice in the past and I have caught them too. Dirty hair doesn't breed lice, infact they prefer clean hair. As to whether you terminated to early only you can answer that.

It sounds like you had a lot of doubts about your therapist that you never worked through with her. How long were you with her? How is your life going now? Do you need to see a therapist again? Before my current therapist, I saw a different counselor, with a break of some months in between. When I left the first counselor, I didn't realize I was leaving, and just never returned. If I had to do it again, I would not do it that way. I think I am missing a sense of closure with her. Maybe you are missing that too.

It's important to find a T you can work with. If you didn't like that T perhaps you can try again now with a different one and explore if there is more to learn?

I think you are sharing more than the one issue.

Deciding if you terminated therapy too soon, and depicting your T as doing an unsuitable job are two different issues.

Forget the poor therapy you may have received and decide if you still need someone to bounce things off of and help with becoming a better person. If so, then find a new T to help you.

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sunrise said:
It sounds like you had a lot of doubts about your therapist that you never worked through with her. How long were you with her? How is your life going now? Do you need to see a therapist again? Before my current therapist, I saw a different counselor, with a break of some months in between. When I left the first counselor, I didn't realize I was leaving, and just never returned. If I had to do it again, I would not do it that way. I think I am missing a sense of closure with her. Maybe you are missing that too.

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I saw her from 2005 to the end of 2006. My life is filled with fear and doubt of what I can accomplish. I feel so lonely and right now, I am very sad. I miss my former T, but at the same time I hesistate to contact her. I am struggling with memories in which the sessions were productive and memories about her pushing me too hard to stay in a support group that made me acutely anxious. I tried to get a sense that she was on my side with the issue about the group, but she didn't acknowledge that she did not give me any tools to counter the anxiety. She told her at the beginning of therapy that I didn't what to take any meds. She kept pushing the idea about meds on my face many times. I am afraid to attempt to get closure, beacuse I am scared of feeling overpowered by the way she carries on a conversation.

Sunrise, why did you leave your past therapist?

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Perna said:
It's important to find a T you can work with. If you didn't like that T perhaps you can try again now with a different one and explore if there is more to learn?

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Yes, Perna I still have much to learn. There are other Ts in the counseling center other than my past T.

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_Sky said:
I think you are sharing more than the one issue.

Deciding if you terminated therapy too soon, and depicting your T as doing an unsuitable job are two different issues.

Forget the poor therapy you may have received and decide if you still need someone to bounce things off of and help with becoming a better person. If so, then find a new T to help you.



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The sadness and constant fear that I am feeling might have caused the confusion between these two issues. But I wll find a new T.

Perhaps it wasn't that you terminated with her too soon; rather, maybe you just weren't connecting with this particular therapist. Are you able to find someone else to work with? It sounds like you still have the need and the desire to work with a T-- but maybe not that T in particular. That's ok. Sometimes it takes more than one try to find someone you can establish a relationship with. Or sometimes you do have a relationship, but you've worked all you can with that person. That's what happened with my 1st T. We worked together consistently for about two years, then on and off for a little while after. Then we mutually decided to terminate, but I realized afterwards that in no way was I done with therapy-- I didn't feel as though I should go back with her though, I felt it was time to move on. Eventually I moved on to another T, but after only a couple of weeks, it really didn't work out. Then I found my current T and it's been working out great for two years.

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pinksoil said:
Perhaps it wasn't that you terminated with her too soon; rather, maybe you just weren't connecting with this particular therapist. Are you able to find someone else to work with? It sounds like you still have the need and the desire to work with a T-- but maybe not that T in particular. That's ok. Sometimes it takes more than one try to find someone you can establish a relationship with. Or sometimes you do have a relationship, but you've worked all you can with that person. That's what happened with my 1st T. We worked together consistently for about two years, then on and off for a little while after. Then we mutually decided to terminate, but I realized afterwards that in no way was I done with therapy-- I didn't feel as though I should go back with her though, I felt it was time to move on. Eventually I moved on to another T, but after only a couple of weeks, it really didn't work out. Then I found my current T and it's been working out great for two years.

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Yep, I was not connecting with her because she did not assume any responsability for the anxiety and stress that the group she was supervising caused me. At some point, she asked me, "What are YOU GOnna do about this impasse we've reached?" I had trusted that she knew what she was doing and that she cared about my physical and psychological safety. But she didn't. I had a serious car accident a day after one of our very heated debates. I say DEBATES because that's what many of our sessions became. Also, I almost flunked that semester because it was very difficult for me to concentrate.
I can't afford to see a T that has a private practice. All the other Ts that are employed by the university I attend to, are under the supervision of my former T. Unless...I do a search of what other nearby universities have to offer.
Thank you for sharing your experience about choosing Ts. I didn't know that it could take a number of trys before you find someone with whom it goes along well. One of the reasons I stayed as long as I did with my former T is that I thought that I had to get it right with her.
I am glad that your current T is helpful

I want to thank everybody who has given me feedback. Every one of your questions and comments has helped me realize that it is time to move on and seek a new therapist who may be better suited to help me. One thing for sure, if I am ever in the same situation in which something is not helping me, I'll get out of it or refuse to expose myself to it.