SESSION TODAY

aPPARENTLY, ACCORDING TO MY HUSBAND AND DAUGHTER, MY THERAPY SESSIONS AREN'T WORKING AS THEY SHOULD.
even though I have been getting out,socialising, sharing the taxi (running our kids here there and everywhere)and thinking of just getting a little job.

I had one bad day yesterday and was upset about my friends mum.supposedly I was overreacting, even though she was sobbing and looks like she's given up. because my friend wasn't upset (Whose mum she is) I was overreacting. My friend is upset, but shows it in different ways and sees her mum every day. I wa shocked when she sobbed (friends mum) I've never seen her break down like that.
Even though I have to put up with my daughters permanently miserable moods when she comes home, I try and build up her confidence by saying she looks stunning (which she does), praise her and my son, always praising my son
I get a bunch of crap from all three of them- hammering away at me, saying I wasn't listening. I truly believed Tony and I were ok. I am proud of the way I have managed to get through some days the way I have felt. The first time I really have a bad day, Tony is leaving if it goes back to before. How can I cope with this. My kids slag Tony off behind his back all the time, I tell them I dont want to hear it, sort it with dad and stop being disrespectful. Dominic went absolutely balistic yesterday at me.
I don't recall anyone in my household telling me I'm doing well, Tony may have said it on a couple of occasions. I warned them all I would be bad during therapy, I feel I was coping quite well apart from getting upset after the session on a couple of occasions.
i am the one who tells my kids i love them. i am the one who praises them. If Tony felt things were going back to how they were why didn't he tell me before instead of taking the kids side in front of them last night.

I am the one treading on eggshells. The next thing will be pc off the menu again I'm telling you.

sigh. I come on here when Tony is playing football upstairs, or watching football or rugby or whatever. I make sure I'm not on here when Dom comes home from school. I listen to everything both kids have to say. If i can't sleep I come on here too to post a poem or something.

I seem to be critisized for all the bad things I do and nothing positive for all the good.

triggering. It's like being a kid again. If one of the others is in a bad mood, the other 3 people dont get at them. If I have a bad day (iwas upset and aggressive yesterday) all 3 gang up on me.

sorry to moan, If this is me then I want your honest opinions.
My best friends are furious with my kids and not very happy with Tony.

Why is it all the negative things kids remember, we do a lot for our kids, too much obviously.

Jinny

Jinny, From my own experience, I envied my kids for the mother they had and I didn't. Not that I was that perfect. I expected them to validate me because my sense of worth was so little.

Just because I entered therapy, that didn't fix everything over night. It takes a long time to change and it takes those outside of us a long time to relate to the person we begin to become.

We are the adults first, children will always be ungrateful and moody, thats just the way it goes, but you can choose to not react to it and gradually they will learn to relax also.

It doesnt matter whose right or whose wrong, its how we react to life. Do we want to be right or be happy?

Take care.

(((jinnyann)))

Sounds like a lot of family dynamics going on. Have you considered family therapy? Perhaps having all family members (or at least more than just you) working on the established family ways of relating and behaving would be helpful. A friend of mine went to short term family therapy with her teenage daughter, and it really helped them learn new, more constructive and less damaging ways of interacting. Every so often, they go for a "tune up."

Jinny, your post sounds almost exactly like my stepmother 40+ years ago. How I wish we could all go back so I could tell her "thank you" more often and help her out without complaining, etc.

thankyou everyone for you replies. I explained everything to my t today and she saysmy children love me so much , my son is scared I will be as depressed as before and do something silly, I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.However, I am still waiting for an appology for the awful name he called me. He has been as nice as pie since I came home. Heis really guilty I know that. My daughter I haven't spoken to yet,my husband has been lovely all day, I told him I will not
be well for many months and he has to try and understand, as well as I have to understand it ishard to live with for them. I have thought about family therapy, but can't face that right now. This is the first time this has happened foralong time, things have settled down. My daughter thinks sheknows how to give me therapy herself,she did an AS level in psychology, a little knowledge goes a longway. My t says they all have to cut me some slack and stop laying downboundaries as it makes me feel triggered and threatened. I will have afamily meeting at the weekend when we're all together.

thanksagain, Kerry xoxoxoxoxo

Jinny, I'm pleased your T was able to offer you some comfort.

(((((((((( jinny )))))))))))