Couch 141: The Inversional Hexachordal Combinatorial Couch

Ohhh dear I feel really terrible. I feel like everything is bad. Is everything bad?!

No, not everything is bad. Let me show you an example:

Hmmm. You're right. That's definitely not bad.

I'm just really tired. This always happens when I'm really tired. Somehow knowing that doesn't lessen it.

Need to activate my self-care sequence...

Hehe. Look at that lil face.

Thanks Daisy

So tort law covers preexisting conditions, whereas health insurance does not.

No wonder Americans sue each other so much.

I was going to pretend to be roboT but that made me sad
But yes, please take care of yourself!

Complete non sequitur: I'm trying to figure out my classroom decor theme for next year. I was broke as a joke last summer, so my classroom theme this year was "whatever I could afford." It kind of morphed into polka dots. I have much more flexibility this year. So I come to you, couch, for help. I'll start with a simple question: should I do a color theme or pattern?

I can't help feeling that this is a kind of denial. But a necessary denial.

"I hate children.
I hate the military.
So shove the children onto the military and let them both suffer.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."

Youre a good mom!

Squirrel is very good at coming up with themes for her classrooms. She didnt have her own room last year, but previous years she showed us pictures.

I think I"m upset with MC for part of how he dealt with some stuff today (not the music!) Like the stuff that I first brought up last week, about how it feels like he sees me as the problem in the relationship. So I texted him about it. Hey, he chooses to work on a holiday, he can deal with the aftermath from it... (I would have e-mailed, but he tends to be much more responsive to texts).

SD also hates therapists...where do they fit in here?

Daisy - I would do a color for younger kids, a pattern for older.

It seems that here on the couch there are quite a few people that have been cleaning their homes which is inspired me to go through a whole bunch of paperwork today and make folders for different things. I worked on this for about 3 hours and while my place looks better I still have a couple of stacks of mail to go through and file. I will try to tackle that tomorrow.

Anyhow, my real reason for posting is that I see my T tomorrow and I just don't know what to talk about. I don't really have any burning issues but I don't want to cancel either. I am thinking about making a new album on my phone of friends, family and ex-BFs to show her all of the people that I've talked about.

What do you all do when you're. not sure what to talk about?

The plan inherently includes the therapists, who will be grappling with a generation of adults recounting the horrors of military school.

My kids have been home since Friday.. today I was very close to losing it, then my daughter offered to vacuum as I was getting it out. And it made my day a little better.

For me, the same thing I do when I walk into a lesson I haven't practiced for and would like to postpone the inevitable *****-grilling: open with a question

Aww no, that does sound totally roboT! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to invoke him. I'd been watching a sci-fi film...

I'm onto phase two of the self-care sequence. Bed and peppermint tea. And a hot water bottle even though it's not actually cold at all.

I say go with a colour theme. With a U!

Hmm, the derogatory kallipygian-oriented term I used and forgot to censor was three letters. Not sure what PC was going for.

SC, I just let it go wherever it goes. See what my mind brings up. Sometimes I've found that turns into a really useful session. Sometimes it goes nowhere though!

A focusing exercise can be good for working out what's important for you at the moment?

Thanks. I was confused there for a minute.

A whole minute?!

Or maybe it just felt too close and familiar in session today and I'm just going through withdrawal...Like, he took off his glasses for the first half of the session, which he hasn't done in a long time, and it feels like his gaze is more intense then. And I think he winked at me (glasses on!) after I showed him a cute photo of our daughter at her kindergarten graduation on my phone (like as he was handing the phone back to me) I'm sure it was in a paternal way, but that sort of triggered something maybe, I don't know...but I feel like I can't be like, "Did you wink at me?" because he'd probably be like, "Uh, no?" Like maybe he just had something in his eye. Sorry, I'll stop spamming the couch. Just a little nervous waiting to see when/if he replies (I did add a brief text that I was sure there was some transference going on here, but I also knew that didn't make my being upset with him any less legitimate).

So now you know what we have to go through when reading your posts :P

Hope you get a reply soon, LT!

OK, so here's what I actually said (because typing on here helps):
"Hi. So I'm upset (crying) about how part of session went today. It felt like you put it back on me, how I feel that you see me as the problem in the relationship. (Like saying it was because of me talking about stuff from my past, etc.) I guess I was hoping maybe you'd take responsibility for giving that impression at times. Like...maybe an apology? Or validation? It also felt like you were avoiding the topic. When it was something really important to me. And something I've addressed with T multiple times (but forbade her from talking to you about). Maybe I didn't do a good enough job explaining it after all...Sorry to rain on your Memorial Day...(I did enjoy the musical numbers.)--LT"

(addendum): "I’m sure there’s some transference stuff at play here, too...though I also don’t think that doesn’t make my being upset any less legitimate."
--
Does all that even make sense? And yes, i know, I send ridiculously long texts... (and oops, almost left T's name in there, not that it would have been particularly identifying, since it's just her first name).