Couch 141: The Inversional Hexachordal Combinatorial Couch

((BCM))

Often, that's how the healing happens. You tear open the stitches and the wound bleeds. But then it heals properly.

((BCM))

Much of our mental pain is a broken bone set crooked. The bone much break again before it can be set straight.

When I was a juvenile therapy was not on a first name basis but it has been since I've been an adult. Call her dr, they seem a tad full of themselves in my opinion.

I call T by his last name... In my mother tongue we also differ between "you" for family/friends and "you" for strangers. T and I use the "you" for strangers

(Uh... I hope that makes some sense)

I use the "you" for strangers too, while he uses the "you" for friends.
I can't call him by name, just "you".

Yes, that makes sense. But I'm surprised. I would expect the French, for example, to use "tu" in therapy. It's an intimate relationship.

I'm still trying to figure out how long do you boil an egg. I hear it's not until all the water evaporates. Is that true?🤔

I keep having recurring dreams that I'm trying to talk to my T but he just ignores me and goes to talk to someone else

Not to the therapist.

So was I... I looked it up in some other forums. Most people wrote that they'd be more uncomfortable with the T using their first name and the more personal version for you ("tu" instead of "vous" for the french :P)

At first I was super uncomfortable with my T using "tu", but now I can't imagine him using "vous" with me. I use "vous" because..because he is T.

I guess that's something I am starting to learn recently w/in my own t relationship. She's definitely changing how she works with me. A part of me knows that she's needed to make these changes for a long time... if she hadn't I can see I would probably never leave. And I need to leave one of these days.

anyone on the couch watching The Handmaid's Tale?

i'm still trying to adjust to being home

No, but I would like to tape it if possible, what channel is it on?

I don't think it is an intimate relationship. At most, it is a business relationship that sets out to create the illusion of an intimate relationship on the part of a client.

And I don't have a problem if both parties are going to be formal/both address each other by last name -but there's no way in hell I would address a therapist by their title/last name and let them use the familiar with me

It's only on hulu

My puppy

I'm off today and somewhat cleaned my house. I didn't mop the floors but it's raining and just doesn't make sense to mop them with the dogs running in and out. I did however dust, clean the bathroom and kitchen. It's not my best work but it's clean and calm enough till I scrub it on Sunday morning. My plan for the rest of the day is to catch up on the couch, nap watch TV and just let my mind be blank. I was considering drafting a letter to XT to mail to her office. It won't be a mean a letter. It would just be a letter to say all the things I didn't get a chance to say to her. Not sure if its a good idea or not. It's been 7 months since I saw her last. Should I let a full year go by before I do something like that?

Could you write the letter and wait a month or two before deciding to send it?

I can do that for sure. I think that would be best.

You know ...once you realize how much money is spent on therapy it's insane. I paid XT 80 bucks a sesssion. That's on the cheaper side. Our sessions were weekly. So that's like what 4 grand a year? And then spending 8 years there..it's like 30 something grand total on therapy? Wow, imagine if I saved that money. Therapy is a total money suck.

I try not to think about it...and I'm glad my H hasn't brought it up as a way to save money. Between T and MC, we pay a net of $110/week (Insurance covers the rest--without, it would be $305, if I'm doing the math right--T gives me a rate $20 less than what she charges new patients and what they bill to insurance for her--would be paying $130/week if not for that.)

It's better not to think about. If it's helping then just put it out of your mind. I never thought about it when I was in therapy-how much money I actually spent on it is an afterthought for me.

Aren't therapists always trying to get clients to write letters to those who wronged them? Get it off their chest, process it? So they can hardly complain when a client does the same. She doesn't need to open it, or read it.

Eta: although as we all know therapists are perfect, so no one would need to write them a letter, because they never do wrong!