The Couch 146 : The Untouchable, Nontotient, Octahedral, Composite Couch.

You can do it!

Jumping in jDNA; you got this!

I'm in your pocket, jdna

I know I'm late for the appointment, but I climbed in your pocket without T noticing.

Yeah that's what happens when I go to bed at 6pm and miss a whole evening of posts. What's velcro posting btw?

me too!!!

Jdna I'M IN!!!

Nothing specific, just stunningly complex multiquotes and I associate it with them specifically

Guys guys

It is SO. HOT.

Almost hot enough for me to pick up the phone and try and find someone to install my window AC for me. Almost. But I suspect it will never be hot enough for that because I don't want to inconvenience anyone and I'm embarrassed that I can't do it alone like I used to

Hi guys

It went okay. We are meeting again Sunday

We discussed everything then T said we should back off of the intense stuff. So we went on a walk.

I did not ask him about crisis responses,, etc. I feel too scared to ask for that. But I am glad I went and saw him

We hugged at the end and he rubbed my back. I asked are you very mad at me? He said no

I hope you can talk to him about the crisis response plan on Sunday jdna. I know you don't like us to worry but...

Just so you know I have the same fear of asking and haven't done it either I think I will have to bring it up next week but I am scared too.

Can anyone tell me what LESS stands for in relation to a veteran needing a service dog? I cannot figure out what it means and it's driving me bonkers.

So glad your session went well, JD. Sorry I missed the pocket call - seems it was pretty crowded in there anyway though

Thanks Munie and Art for the lollipops and stickers.

I am home now and exhausted but all is okay. I'm okay.

LT - regarding vasovagal response - yes, that is absolutely what it was. It has happened to me before but doesn't usually. I actually don't think it's related to my phobia - it's that I'm small and have low blood pressure, so my body doesn't react well to losing that much blood.

Out of curiosity, was it also a fasting blood draw? Worst reaction I had was when I stupidly did one of those at like 11:30 a.m. So I already had low blood sugar (and not my usual caffeine) and was feeling lightheaded from that, then had blood drawn. It was right before the doctor saw me, and I had to excuse myself to the bathroom for a couple minutes because I felt so sick that I couldn't really talk to her (I think I lied and said I had to pee). So now, fasting blood draws are much earlier!

I also read this trick online, where if you tense up your muscles in your legs, butt, and non-blood-draw arm, it can help keep up your blood pressure. Seemed to help the last time, though I was afraid the nurse would have asked me what I was doing!

You are so my mini-me! I once lived in an upper flat, the owner lived in the lower flat, and i paid an entirely unrelated person to install my window ac. The owner was not amused, but i just couldnt face him. It felt too personal, too needy - too unsafe to be that close to someone. I didnt understand it then, i get it now. Only took 40 years of t.

Eta - thanks Lt - im getting drawn monday.

That is good to know LT

I get the vasovagal thing too, the amount of blood they take out of me seems insulting compared to how small I am... my solution has been to not go to the dr for the past six years but that really isn't smart. Well there are other reasons too. I have no $ and last time I went to a GP she said there were physical things that needed to be treated, but she refused to see me again until I had a psychiatric eval (she saw I had a psychiatric history but with no pdoc) so I sent in a note from L saying she was a phd and my mental illness was being sufficiently managed with therapy. No dice. I haven't been since. I felt like a criminal. And I don't have the money for a pdoc either!

Well that was a rant I wasn't expecting to have

But wtf is wrong with these people!

Our management won't do it! I wish they did, I'd have called them weeeeeks ago. Seems weird they don't do it. You'd think they'd want the installations safe and to code. But instead I just wedge mine in the window with no supports or brackets.

Not anymore because I herniated a disk in September

I had been feeling really stressed about the medical test from yesterday and, since my T is on vacation this week, texted MC about it both last night and this morning (plus mentioning it in an e-mail response to him). I was a bit disappointed I didn't hear anything from him, but figured he was just busy. I was going a bit crazy and ended up calling my doctor's office around 1 to see if they had results, and the receptionist was able to tell me that nothing suspicious turned up, though she'd still have the actual doctor call me to give me more specifics ("like measurements," because I really need to know the dimensions of my ovaries!).

About a half hour ago, my phone rang, and I was expecting to be my doctor. Was pleasantly surprised to see it was MC, calling to see how I was doing (I hadn't even asked him to call). Felt maybe a little silly being like, "Well, I think now I'm fine," which he said he was glad to hear. We still talked for a couple minutes, with me saying I'd been in a pretty dark place at one point, and him saying how it was normal to be worried about this. And that he wanted me to realize that I managed to handle the anxiety. I was like, "Well, yeah, but I shouldn't have sent you multiple texts and I should have talked to H more about it, and..." He said I was doing the "should" thing again, and I was like, "Yeah, and we just talked about that." I agreed that it was tough, but I did manage it. I thanked him for calling and said I didn't want to keep him since I was mostly OK now. He told me to take care, and I said him, too.

So, that was nice. Would be good to hear from my actual doctor though...

It wasn't this time, but that is usually when it happens to me, too. I managed to eat a cereal bar en route this morning! That sounds horrible they should always schedule fasting blood draws early anyway really - and have biscuits on hand for immediately afterwards.

I shall try your trick next time!

@LT I have to say it was neat to find out the exact dimensions of my uterus

Apparently mine is at the bare rock absolute minimum of what's considered normal size and it's skewed a good bit to the left (it took the tech a while to find it )

Also, something to explore with my T: Why I get weepy when someone says/does something nice/caring for me... Happens with some of the stuff MC and T have said/written to me, which I suspect is tied into paternal/maternal transference, so partly childhood stuff. Though it's not just that, because I think of the time a few years ago when a friend surprised me with a birthday gift in the mail and I just burst out in tears. I feel like normal people are like, "Aw, what a nice surprise!" but without the crying usually. Maybe it's that I'm not used to it? And/or that I feel unworthy?

During the exam, she said mine was tilted back, so she had to angle the scan thing a bit differently. She reassured me it was a normal variation. I'm curious as to whether it was like that pre-daughter, too!

This happens to me too- I think it is both that I feel like I am utterly unworthy of the attention and good thoughts (any time a person did me a favor growing up, my mom would say "I hope you know they didn't have to do that for you and they really shouldn't have, and I hope you're grateful for it, you need to write them a note thanking them from the bottom of your heart so they don't think you're a spoiled brat etc etc") and also that I have the vague feeling that people just do things like this for each other and I missed out in a major way when I needed much more kindness than I got.

My dad has just texted me saying that my brother has stormed out of the house in a rage and asking me "what to do if you're worried about someone harming themselves". Being deliberately vague and saying "after what he said earlier..."

For f**k's sake.