Can a therapist who is insecurely attached, help w/attachment issues?

I was on a therapy related blog that asserts nearly 50% of all therapists aren't equipped to deal with attachment related trauma; perhaps this coincides with the data that shows only 50% of the population is securely attached (I didn't read far enough into the notes).

What do you think? Can a therapist who isn't securely attached themselves, assist a client w/secure attachment?

How can you avoid a therapist who is insecurely attached? Any warning signs that you've come across?

I don't know but maybe you could ask them if they have attachment issues. Trying to diagnose a therapist sounds complicated.

I think it is unlikely that a therapist with attachment issues would be able to help a client with the same. I don't know what that would look like, though.

That's a big number. 50%.

I guess it's akin to if I had a drinking or eating problem and I went to see a therapist who still struggles with it.

First, correlation isn't causation. Just because there are two 50%s doesn't mean they're the SAME 50%.

As for your question, oncologists can get cancer and even die of it, but that doesn't keep them from helping patients with cancer. There's theory and knowledge and then there's failure to do what you know you should do. There are marriage counselors out there with failed marriages. Doesn't mean they're not helpful to the couples they see.

I doubt they help with anything in any sort of consistent or knowing way- I consider more dumb luck when the manage to do anything useful for a client. Their poor attachment may have lead them to becoming a therapist = god knows we have enough examples of not well put together people who are therapists - just read their literature.

There are some articles on it:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23390791
Clients' Attachment Styles & Therapy Outcomes
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/impor...antiago-delboy
Client and Therapist Attachment Styles and Working Alliance - Bucci - 2015 - Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy - Wiley Online Library
http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/1...nalCode=cjsw20

I'm not sure how one could determine their therapist's attachment style in the first place. Maybe it would become obvious only if it was damaging the therapeutic relationship. It would be difficult to identify that, though, if the therapist didn't have the self-awareness and insight to see it happen and to own it. Otherwise therapy would probably get bogged down, seemingly for no reason.

I do think therapists can help with things they have struggled with in the past as long as they have their own issues under control. I would have fewer hesitations seeing a divorced marriage counselor than one who has never been married, for example. But if they were both well-qualified and insightful, I don't think it would matter that much either way. I guess the crucial thing is that they know themselves and have "done the work" on their issues.

Wouldn't you say that it doesn't quite apply to this? There is a reason why LCSW's and LMFT's who work in recovery centers need to maintain at least a year of sobriety. There's such limited data in comparison to other realms of therapy when it comes to attachment trauma, I no longer want to take a chance, having learned the hard way, and dealing with someone who is currently insecurely attached. I don't think attachment issues can even be compared to something like, perhaps, standard issues involving marriage. We're dealing with neurons, brainwaves, restructuring neural pathways, trauma, stored toxic energy, reflex mannerisms that go above and beyond the regular crux of issues that most average clientele bring with them.

I'm also not talking about therapist's who have had attachment trauma and have done the work on themselves. Most have some level of attachment crap, but if they've done the work on themselves, I'm all for it. I'm talking about the 50% of therapist's that are alleged to not be suitable for attachment related trauma.

I speak very highly of Alan Robarge who has suffered with attachment trauma and healed from it. I'm undertaking his 8-week course starting today.

Thank you.

Looking for a new-t and I'm inundated with all of this information. Overload of info.

People with attachment issues often hate their "neediness". I believe that the therapist, in the constraints of the therapeutic relationship, needs to model acceptance/understanding of these needs. That would be hard for the therapist to do he/she hates himself/herself. I"m not sure if that person could be consistently consistent.

I found this part interesting (in one of Stopdog's references):

Therapists in a secure state of mind, Wallin suggests, access a wide range of experience in themselves and in the client, and are mindful of feelings, ideas and bodily reactions.

Therapists in a dismissive state will likely tend to focus on thoughts rather than feelings, and avoid developing intimacy with their clients to avoid being rejected or controlled.

Therapists in a preoccupied state may tend to merge or over-identify with their client, have difficulties setting boundaries and avoid conflict to avoid being abandoned.

Therapists in an unresolved state would be more likely to find themselves fluctuating between victim and rescuer roles; they may avoid approaching trauma or push clients to face it prematurely.

I wasn't able to access the last two. It appears the articles are for sale rather than directly accessible.

Found this article that is interesting:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/site...uller-2009.pdf

Interesting but I think that guy is a manipulative jerk. I read a book by him.

Finding a new-t sucks! I wish they offered a free 15 minute in person session so I could get a feel for the person. I think I know what to ask now and what I want.

That's a pretty good short list. I have some additional thoughts as this is something I look out for. I'm hypervigilant.

I think so many people have attachment issues, it's find as long as they undergo intensive therapy and so likely have the self awareness to keep it in check. It will be most risky with psychodynamic therapy, less impactful with those doing CBT type therapies.

Look for a good sense of self. Someone who stays true to herself but can be flexible and open minded.

Easy signs to steer clear of (not judging-many are why people go to therapy but they should keep these in check) include: being eager to please, dismissive, maladaptive, reactional, defensive, need to rescue/caretaking, unstable relationships, overly rigid, controlling, overly confident/arrogant, doesn't listen, emotionally unavailable (to an extent) or lack of affect, impulsive, workaholic-life revolves around therapy, low self esteem, rapidly changing emotions, seductive, charming...I'll stop there as probably over half the population has these issues.

Someone with a solid sense of self will be more of the same person from week to week rather than changing values, interests, moods. Think the opposite of DID.

Maladaptive behavior-trying to make the environment change rather than adapting too it. Unconscious defense mechanisms sometimes serve this purpose.

One big sign is projection--seeing you as someone else rather than who you are--aka transference. The greater the transference/countertransference, the greater the attachment problems.

Some do, don't they? Sometimes you can get a short phone consult to get a feel for them too. If not a free session some might give a reduced fee half-session instead. Ask!

Haha, that ain't happening in my area. Plus, I prefer to use my insurance. Meh. I'm jaded.

Then I guess the only way is to go to a therapist for a few sessions and see how it works out. I've heard that if you aren't feeling like its a good fit by the third or fourth session then it probably won't work. I am starting with a new T atm. I have had several 15 minute meet and greet sessions and one full session. This T is my best option for my issues atm so I hope I start feeling it soon.
I am still in the process of terminating with current T (one more session left) so that may be clouding my perception of new t somewhat. Will have to see how it plays out.

Don't they do that? I had a free 30 minute in person session with my T before I started seeing him. I also had 15 - 30 minute meetings with several group therapists when I was looking for a group. I just assumed that was a common practice.

Not in my experience; most offer 15 minute phone interviews/intro's, but I've found them all to be just the T suggesting me to come in, as it's the "only way" to find a good fit. And then there's the insurance stuff to deal with.

Looks like my ex-t was in preoccupied and unresolved states. Ugh. My ex-t was a hot mess and a half. By the time I realized there was a problem with this woman, which was very early on, I was already attached and I had no intentions to leave her. Cripes, my ex-t told me that we were both attached to each other and that the goal of therapy was to help each other into well-being. I thought it was endearing at the time but see now how incredibly wrong that statement was. So, based on what I went through with my insecurely attached t, number one thing to be aware of are the boundaries. Make sure the boundaries are consistent, healthy, and explained upfront. Make sure that therapy is about you and your needs, not theirs. Excessive, irrelevant self-disclosures, making you feel special by breaking a boundary, encouraging dependency, "love-bombing," or anything that makes you feel like they are using you to fill a need of their own -- I say run like hell. After my experience with my ex-t, I will never get attached to another human being again in my life. So, depending on how you look at that, she either cured my attachment issues or completely destroyed them. Good luck with your t search.

One of the ts I see does a full length first session to see if both parties feel like it is a good fit. It is not unusual for him to refer people to another t who accepts their insurance and/or who deals with the particular issue. I like that he is willing to refer.