Couch 153: Couch slouch

My former psychiatrist offered me $500 randomly. I didn't ask for anything . He texted me asking if I'm okay. And he said he's wiring $500 to me. And he did .

So this is the real test now. Not blowing all of this money on drugs. I can't do that I can't do that. I won't do that

And yes this is probably unethical and weird. Idk.

jDNA, you could use it to take the test again, something positive.

What happened after you called about drug treatment? Are you going to do that?

I have a free retake from the 2nd time I paid. My former psychiatrist actually paid for that too....

I stopped looking at drug tx stuff.... I would like to get into an IOP group

I'm taking the test again on October 21

The former exploitive psychiatrist that you sued?

Morning couchies. I'm enjoying everybody's avatars and signatures, they were both turned off in my profile thingy for some reason, I don't even remember when or why I must have done that! H is getting ready we'll be leaving to take him to the airport soon, but I have a couple minutes to say good morning.

I find that now that the overtime is slowing down at work (didn't have any yesterday) and I slept in this morning, I'm feeling a little bit of anxiety starting to creep in about what grade I'm going to get on my psych paper. I guess that's why I emailed it to t last night, if I at least get her opinion on it then maybe I won't go all stress-ball over not having a grade yet from my instructor. I turned it in 11 days ago, 5 days before it was due. Maybe he didn't start grading any of them until they were due on the 16th? Ah but it was really long - and I get that he has like 23 of them to read and grade. That takes time. I'll just practice staying present and not worrying... Ah! There is h. Time to head to the airport. Later couchies, I'll start getting caught up here with everyone in an hour or so!

Noooo no no. That was a therapist. This is my pdoc from ages15-23. He was the one I told about former t ..

Ooohhh...
I’m such a goof.

It's ok people confuse them a lot

My friend owes me ~500$, I hope she'll return them one day. She took them a year ago.
It's my ~2-3 months salary haha

Haha, I killed the couch, sorry

My favorite kinds of couches are those ones where they're leather and super cushy. Makes me want to take like 40 naps.

Feeling super ambivalent about therapy these days. Not feeling much of a connection with t these days. But I don't want to quit either. I don't want to go tomorrow, but I know I will miss t.

Blah...

‘Pillers’ fer the Couch-

The couch is unkillable. Long live the couch!!

‘Nother one...

Have you thought about taking a break for two or three weeks? I find breaks are useful and then I can go back and refocus.

I'm feeling a very strong connection with t these days. Ever since we found our way back from the recent rupture. But it's different from before. Like, more mature or something maybe? Like it's coming from the more secure, adult place in me instead of from that younger, insecure place. Or something. The love feelings are still there, of course. But that's gone through a change too. It's like the intensity has ratcheted down a whole-whole lot, y'know? And I can explain it better if that makes any sense. I feel love for her because of how healing this relationship between us has been for me, because I've experienced tremendous growth as a person through our work together, because this therapeutic relationship has meant so much to me. I'll stop now. Time to catch up with the couch.....

Cool pillows.

I think my relationship with my t is getting better. I shared something big last week and t reacted well. At the end of the session I said "thanks, you're the best" and she said "I'm writing this down". I guess she thinks I will go back to being afraid of her this week, which I might, I'm weird like that.

I went to the minute clinic for an emergency refill. My NP won't refill my medication until I see her on Monday. Like wtf I am out of my med!!!

Anyway I got a short term refill

The minute clinic Dr listened to my chest for a long time and then said my chest does not sound good and I need a chest xray Asap. She also said she saw an irregular mole on my back

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

That's stupid they won't fill your prescription. I'm glad you found someone to. I hope the chest x-ray comes back negative.

That's like my T's couch

All caught up on the couch. Sending hugs and headnods as appropriate.

My t's couch has a white slipcover thing over it, so I have no idea what it looks like underneath that. She has a dark-colored (wool?) blanket on it too. And a couple of pillows. And a teddy bear at one end. It's very comfy.

Now I need to get to studying - my goal for today and tomorrow is to finish Chapter 6, Sensation and Perception. I am only 7% done with it. Time to put on my Artie the Smartie persona and get to work. Heh!

Information overload! Information overload! My brain is smoking right now. Learning about how the eye works - in way more detail than I've ever read about - and MY eyes are crossing. Time for a study break. Holy cow..... I'm going outside for awhile to focus my eyes on some trees and stuff...