How weird would it be if I brought my therapist flowers?

Telling t the fantasy seems like it would be more powerful than actually getting him flowers, right?

I'm not sure why bought flowers are more intimate than picked flowers! My favorite flowers ever were given to me by a boy who picked them. It was a tiny bouquet, and it was so special because he picked them. Anyone can buy flowers from a flower stand, but going out and picking flowers requires actual effort.

Stop being so reasonable!

But, in all seriousness, I really don't want to talk about those fantasies right now. He and I both need a break from the death stuff. Maybe I should wait till I'm ready to talk about the fantasies before giving him flowers.

But...I just want to do something nice like give him flowers. Oy, I'll think about it.

Giving flowers to someone who would welcome and enjoy them certainly is a nice thing. But that may not be the case with a T. It may have an unintended effect-- like making him uncomfortable, worry about erotic transference, or force him to refuse them because they're against his boundaries. Giving gifts is always nice when you're thinking more about what the other person would want-- and less about yourself and what you want to give. Maybe flowers aren't the thing that would make T happy. Maybe a note of appreciation instead?

I would never give my T anything other than the agreed upon payment. I have no desire to give her flowers or any other gift...not even a card...and she has helped me tremendously and she means the world to me. I guess I just feel that my presence and my payment are just the right amount each week.

I gave ex-T flowers once. She liked them. She wanted to give me back the vase though...she might have thought it was expensive?

I haven't given current T flowers. I should. Maybe on our 3 year anniversary.

T's generally interpret actions as "doing something in lieu of talking about something." So maybe waiting until you're ready to talk about the fantasy, then using the flowers as a way to ease into the talking might be easier?

After reading that I say go for it.And you could even add this message with them.Even if you're not ready to talk about it yet,just doing this speaks volumes already.

Two.

It can be freeing to be spontaneous and carefree, and act from your heart, to do what you want to do (within reason and not hurting others) without being constricted, fearful, and worrying about others' approval or rejections.

Being comfortable in the relationship with your Self comes to mind. Expressing yourself can also help build self worth and character and individuality.

After reading your explanation I am going to re-think my beliefs on accepting flowers from clients. Thanks for making me laugh. I wish I could take a picture of your T's face in case you decided to bring him not only flowers but also the letter explaining everything you've explained here. The picture of him reading the letter would be priceless.

Whenever I have the urge to give my therapist something I just talk about the urge and why I felt that way.
Talking about the urge and your fantasies about the flowers would be far more revealing --and more vulnerable-- than just handing the therapist some flowers that could be interpreted in a million different ways.

I think the idea of bringing your therapist flowers is charming. I've given the office assistant flowers many times and brought small presents (a Slinky for office warming, a metal model airplane from my trip to the AirZoo...)whenever I wanted to. I appreciate that he was gracious enough to accept them from me. If he had insisted on therapizing them it would have spoiled all our pleasure.

But you can do both.

Do whatever feels right for you.I'm taking a gift for R when i see him on tuesday,which he knows about after i asked him if he would be okay accepting it and my reasons why.

You could explore with t your wish to bring him flowers without actually acting it out.

I love your explanation / rationalization / thought processes.
maybe you could give your T the flowers, with the explanation, and a note adding that you're not ready to discuss it further yet.

[QUOTE=RaineD;5825884]I'm not sure why bought flowers are more intimate than picked flowers! My favorite flowers ever were given to me by a boy who picked them. It was a tiny bouquet, and it was so special because he picked them. Anyone can buy flowers from a flower stand, but going out and picking flowers

For me the difference is the coat. Many T's will not buy anything that cost money. Picked flowers do not. Also, with bought flowers it shows that this was planned out vs. " I saw these and decided to pick some foe you.

I just remembered something that I forgot I knew. It is not recommended to buy flowers for someone with cancer. Something about flowers harboring fungal spores and being a source of infection...

Thanks for this. I was about to ask a friend to deliver flowers to his office on Tuesday. But now I won't. What should I give him instead? Hmmmm...

Artificial flowers?

Yep, I'm thinking about that. But I don't want him to feel obligated to keep them if he thinks they're ugly...

You could always find a small fall arrangement or even make your own and put it in a coffee mug or something.

Ah, that sounds really cool. I love fall colors, and that way he won't have to keep it for more than a season.

I think it's a good idea too,I'm imagining a mug like this,but it may not be your style or what you have in mind.

https://www.amazon.com/Brown-Woodlan...owl+coffee+mug

Heh, that's cute!

Origami flowers! I'm going to try to make them myself.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/KatiemadeOrigami?ref=listing-shop2-all-items-count#items