Couch 155: The International Operator

Thanks for the new couch luco. I think I found the perfect new couch picture:

So cool! You certainly don't see those around anymore! I was on the Subway last night and every single person in my sight was looking at their cell phone!

And thanks Luco!!

I need help

What do you need? Pm me if you want.

I don't think therapy has anything to do with deserving it. Every human being has their own problems that are worthy of care and compassion and therefore is deserving of therapy if they so desire it. If your therapist has offered to see you weekly, he obviously has the time and willingness to see you weekly. I can tell from your posts here that you are in pain. I'm sure your T can also see how much pain you are in and he cares about you and wants to help relieve your burden. For me, I have trouble accepting care from other people. I wonder if you have the same issue. I think you might feel better overall if you had more face time with your therapist to share your pain with him. I wish you would reconsider going weekly.

How can we help?

I'm here for you too, Anais

I am so scared. Nothing feels real and all I can hear is my mother yelling at me. I will see L soon but she will want to talk about medication.

Hugs...

I know that feeling. I'm sorry you're experiencing it too. I wish there was something we could do against it.

We're here with you. I know that isn't much help though...

Do you know anything that helps?

How do you think about medication?

I'm sad
8

have you tried topamax? I love it completely. Its a mood stabilizer. Its used for epilepsy. You say nothing feels real and you hear your mother. I used to have deja vus a LOT before i got on topamax, ESPECIALLY at family dinners, ie under stress? So like what is epilepsy and deja vus but your brain firing electrically uncontrollably or spasmodically? Mine was a case of not realizing i had a mild case of epilepsy until the symptoms stopped (i had jacksonian marches all my life) after i got on topamax.

Hugs to couchies who want/need.

It's a slow day at work so I was reading an article on the internet about a woman who called 911 8 times before her boyfriend killed her. I'm totally triggered right now thinking about when my husband was threatening to kill me. I think I need to go hide in the bathroom for a while.

Yeah, i saw something on tv the other night about dv and remembered my ex-h wanting to purchase a weapon and i was like, boy i was smart to get outta there. But its still not a great feeling.

I take Topamax, but at a lower dose, 125 mgs (for migraine prevention). My pdoc once mentioned that Topamax can work as a mood stabilizer for some people, but at higher doses.
It it also called "dopamax" & can affect one's memory (it certainly has mine). And it can cause tingling in fingers and toes, plus thinning hair...side effects I have also not enjoyed.
Meh.

(((RUG))) I take 100 now. I got up to 400 but i started falling over, and i couldnt answer anything on Wheel of Fortune, let alone Jeopardy.

Eta - it sure doesnt stop the hair growing in or under my nose! Everywhere else, yeah!

If anyone is interested in a distraction, here's something silly but true:

Brave passengers board last ever Flight 666 to HEL on Friday the 13th *

I used to take it for a tremor in my hands when I was 14 or 15. Had to stop for some reason relating to a side effect. But I can't remember what it was.

AA- I hope it calms down soon

I am very much against it because of how it's affected me in the past. L was suggesting today that I should find a psychiatrist willing to try pediatric dosages with me. I think this sounds like too much trouble. And as I feared, we spent the whole time talking about the medication. And how I should get outside. I spend a lot of time outside already.

Just being here with me is the most helpful thing, I think.

Today L was telling me due to my financial situation I should probably consider choosing to work with either her or M exclusively. Ordinarily this would have upset me a lot because I use them as a team but.... today, M was such an obvious choice. It's like L is totally checked out and moved away already. Doesn't remember basic info. I feel so abandoned.

Sorry. I am ranting. But there's no one in my life to talk to.

Ha i thought today was the 12th, thats what i wrote in my journal! Thats one way to get around it!

......

Sorry you are going through this.

I had DV when I first left home, left him as soon as i could. If you ever need an ear, feel free to PM me.

Hope you have support IRL, too.

Waiting for Info. The waiting area is in the hallway/foyer. Not the least thing I miss about 3 is that she had her own waiting room.

I never used those people's waiting rooms - I go in right on time or a couple of minutes late - I am not waiting for one of them.