Couch 155: The International Operator

*hugs* Sorry stuff stinks for you too. Esp with doctors.

I just had my appraisal. New appraisal boss seems more understanding and more appreciative of my work. She has a mother with Alzheimer's. She told me after I asked her if her "elder care leave" went alright. If she's also the new boss who approves my leave, I hope she will be OK with my time off for therapy.

I should be happy that no one cares, but I'm sad.

I think you, couchies, are amazing. I'm glad I've met you.

I care. Couchies care. I know it isn't the same as local friends *hugs*

Agreed

I care. (8 chars)

I care capt

(((demunie))) (((qm))) ((((everyone)))

Some time back, a friend with DID suggested to me that I could try this sexual assault group... I called the place for more info and I don't qualify. It's for sexual assault involving penetration.



Bf just wants to me to be cheerful and happy.

Posting something so my screenshot of messaging T goes away on tapatalk.

Damn it's still there. How do I make it go away?

Maybe if we could take away all the pain in the world it'd be louder

Or the couch wouldn't exist

Hm

Hehe. I'm just embarrassed by my messages to T in that screenshot

Hihi. I don't think there's a need for that but I guess I understand

Hugs. Certain friend gets email replies from her T. Envious lol. Same friend who told me her T told her that T would cry in the car after sessions with her.

Hugs... what would you want your T to respond?

That my attachment makes sense and that she'll miss me too and that my pain matters though I cope so well.

And sign off with "[her first name] "

She signed off that way on a card she gave me (I requested for the card)

I don't want to upset him or anything, but sometimes I wish I'd see him crying. One teardrop would be enough. Just to be sure he's a human. Lol. It's weird, I know.

I also want to have a good cry while he's hugging me. Or just have a good cry.

It's not weird. I wish my T would shed a tear too.

And I've similar wishes that T would hug me while I have a good cry.

When I cry, sometimes T fetches me tissue or a paper towel. It's a sweet gesture.

Thank you soooo much.
I always think my wishes, fantasies and so on are weird... bad... That I should be ashamed...
I'm glad that you can understand me.

Your desires and wishes etc are very human and very normal among those of us who've experienced emotional neglect. That whole longing for our pain to matter, for care and compassion and comfort *hugs*

ETA: the shame is very common too, especially as you've been emotionally deprived, shamed and maybe punished for these needs.

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen therapists who do that every day.

Urologist: "so tell me... how can a woman your age go see GPs, end up in the er 2 times and have multiple head physicians look at your case without anyone testing for a simple urinary tract infection? Here you have your antibiotics."

Yeah. I'd like to know that too

Wow, FINALLY a competent doctor. I'm glad you finally were taken seriously.

Effing MH stigma and other god knows what shyt.

Ahhhhhh Munie! For f***'s sake! Finally!

Ugh, glad someone finally took you seriously! And glad it's nothing serious.