Couch 160: The Squeaky Clean Couch!

Saying something like that to a therapist is something I believe everyone should do. It is not arrogance. Those people are making choices. It is true. Those people encourage you to say the things that you wouldn't say in regular society. No one believes a therapist is going to stop her whole world for a client that I can see, but telling the therapist that's how one feels is exactly what those people ask you to do. I don't think shaming someone on here for having those feelings is going to help or stop them. Further if those people are honest they would just admit. But they don't like to take responsibility for their choices. The blame squarely on the therapist

But-but-but dontcha know it’s an ART?

I often compared the therapist to being a weatherman – as long as there was some weather outside of some sort -weather people take credit for it just like therapists take credit for **** they don't do or have any part in. And when they get it wrong they both claim it's not an exact science it's just an art.

I took a Meteorology class in college as one of my science courses. Main thing I took away from it was where not to be/what not to be doing in thunderstorm. Which I suppose is good knowledge to have. Also what dew point is, though don't ask me to actually explain it!

I just officially cancelled all my appointments with t... her goes nothing, life with out t. I am a little scared, and a whole lot of sad.

I had to call the receptionist because I knew if I emailed t to say I was done, he would say let's talk about it next time. To my surprised the receptionist was like what? Are you sure?? Does t know... I gave her very little information. I have been going there for 6 years so I am sure it was a shock.

So I saw Dr. Semi-Dishy, Presumably Ethical Psychiatrist, this morning, told him things were bad, ended up with a prescription for Pristiq on top of the Wellbutrin.

Bah. And just eight months ago I was gearing up to go off all psych meds.

It really doesn’t matter whether it snows or not.

Question is is how do YOU feel about the snow?

How do you feel about medication now?

I don't have anything against meds. I just feel like one step forward, two steps back.

I saw it in person once, it IS pretty awesome.

Thanks so much for this!

I was wondering about that! Its like t-manqué - french for the t im missing, like the rose manquee in The Little Prince. Kinda sweet. French Freudian slip

I guess you can tell when i get out of bed...

Nah, we thought you were still in jammies, snuggled under blankets and posting on your phone!

Having said that, I realize that perhaps I have opened myself up to learning about your jammies-or absence thereof. I hope that was not a mistake.

Oh una..... how perfect of a thing. I do miss her. Bunches. But in a sentimental kind of way. Like the way missed my creative writing teacher from HS after I went off to college. Like that. Not in a bawling my eyes out every day kind of way.

No worries. Una's a total blank slate.

Im not wearing a slightly used owl onesie, i can assure you of that!

Mmmm baked ziti, breadstick and salad for lunch compliments of work today. There's even green pepper in the salad. Yum!

I'm anxious about my session again today. He said he would read the rest of my journal. I don't think he had gotten to the stuff that I was anxious about sharing before we met last time. I feel like I maybe let him a little too far into my thoughts with what I wrote. I'm pretty open in general with him, but I think I downplay how often I think about certain things that he might find concerning. I also don't share my feelings about him or our relationship much in person. I opened up a little bit about that in the journal.

Maybe I'm also a little upset that he hadn't read the whole thing before we met on Monday. Like he didn't care enough to sit down and read it. I feel bad even thinking that though.

Hugs, NP. If he was just getting back from vacation, maybe he didn't have time to read it all before the session Monday? I hope your session goes well...

Thank God!

I don't know what's wrong with me. There's nothing going on in my life right now but I want to cry and I'm anxious and I'm not sleeping well.

I have often felt that way after offering T1 journaling to read. It is a vulnerable thing to do.

It sounds to me like he was just busy upon returning, and wanted to give your journal the time it deserves. But I understand feeling that way.

So, uh, we basically started termination with MC today...We're not seeing him again for a month and will see how that goes (though he said if we change minds, can call and schedule sooner). Talked about what T had asked me about, had the effective marriage counseling ship sailed a long time ago due to transference. And I said how after the stuff from December, I didn't feel like I could really trust him anymore...He said it could be good for me to stay and work through the conflict with him. I think that actually made me a bit more determined to push through with it.

Texted T from parking lot, seeing him tomorrow afternoon (he rocks!). Was pretty weepy in session and a bit on the way home, but not right now...Though might just be numb, not sure...

CW said something similar. Next time someone breaks up with me, I'm gonna use that line.

I mean, seriously. Often someone leaves a therapist after the therapist has had plenty of chances and blown them. But they always try for another chance.

It's manipulative imo: dangling in front of a client the hope of some kind of resolution.

Also, you go, LT.