Couch 160: The Squeaky Clean Couch!

That's part of it for me. The financials esp since I went back to school. I didn't really want to quit t completely but felt guilty about wanting to come on a tune-up basis cuz I was afraid it was taking advantage of her somehow. But she doesn't see it that way thankfully. No matter what I ever said about her, she came through for me last night and I'm grateful.

I suppose it depends on what you mean by "closure." I'm thinking of when T and I talked about possibly having one or both of my parents come in for a session, maybe to address some stuff from childhood. T said if we were to do that, I'd have to go into it with no expectations of how the other person would respond. Like if I went into it hoping my mom would apologize for not supporting my emotional needs, I'd likely come out disappointed. But if I went into it just with the goal of expressing myself, sharing what had upset me, maybe standing up for myself--then that would be different.

I think closure with a T might be kind of the same way. Like, in my case, if I just want to say certain things to MC--and if I'm honestly not going in looking for a particular response (easier said than done, I'm sure!)--and my goal is just to get that stuff out, maybe to attempt to assert myself a bit--then that could possibly be beneficial. But that's something I'm also going to discuss with my T. It could just come down to, I type out all I want to say, hand him the piece of paper either at the start or the end of last session, then tell him it's just stuff I wanted to get out, that he doesn't have to respond in any way. Or, I don't know, even mail or drop off a letter for him after we're done (because if it was e-mail, I'd be more likely to expect a response).

So, I think it's all about what someone wants from closure...

Man, I feel like I've missed a lot on the couch recently! Hugs and other appropriate gestures as needed.

I don't feel like my life is on hold because of therapy. Actually, for me, the converse is true. I feel like for the first time in a long time I'm living the life I've wanted. So much of my life has been ruled by fear, whether that be of new experiences, relationships, etc. I have a pretty full social calendar, I'm perusing things that I've been afraid of for years, and I'm generally happy.

I don't know that therapy is necessary for me to maintain where I'm at right now, but it might be. I may be a lifer, and if so, that's okay.

I'm thinking on this. And beginning to understand more something t said last night. Will try to come back to this thought after I get home.

There is a burglar alarm somewhere in the area which has been going off continually for the last 13 hours

T got back to me.. seeing him next week. Overall it was a positive exchange. He knows that I have been pissed at him for sometime now. And he addresses an email that I sent to him last week about feeling abandoned.

He said this was all apart of the process and realizes that I am angry with him and we can address all of the reasons why in my appointment.

I am going to feel silly going in as I called and canceled all my appointments so the receptionists will know there is something weird going on. And I am not sure that I want to go back beyond the appointment that I have scheduled for next week. But it feels good to get some closure.

(((Healed))) im glad he called back. Kinda sucky that you had to do this to get his attention. If hes late again, he is going to be very very sorry. :Punching:

Healed, I'm guessing you're not the first person to cancel all your appointments and then schedule another one shortly after. Probably not even the first person this month. I'm glad you're feeling better about how things are going with your T, though. I know how stressful it can be to be angry and not have anywhere for those feelings to go.

NO.

My mouth is hurting just looking at the picture.

When i was young, we had ONE flavor of Oreos! And we had to walk to the general store, five miles in the snow, uphill both ways, to get them!

I dislike T2's new office. This is how I felt when I first got there today:

The same thing happened when he changed offices previously. I have zero attachment to his other offices; I just hate change and his newest office is much different than the previous two.

So I act like a brat for the first 10 minutes and criticize everything about the location/space/molecules in the air, but he's ok with it because he knows what's up.

Where are my car keys???

There's another new flavor, chocolate hazelnut.

ETA:

You're starting to sound like SD.

I noticed that as well. From the review I saw, they will be liked by Nutella lovers.

I'd definitely throw down some of those cinnamon Oreos. Cinnamon candies are one of my favorites.

I am kind of intrigued!!

Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh uh oh uh oh...

(yeah thats the JAWS music!)

Am I a bad mom for texting my son and asking him to put a bottle of wine in the fridge for me? At least he's 19 not 10 or something. I guess.

10 hour work days are rough!

And we liked it that way.

Its not like youre asking him to fire up the bong

Not a bad idea today! No no no I didn't say that.

I think I'm too tired to drive. Sitting in my car at work. But wine awaits. I can do this.

Either the Pristiq has started working already or my brain got switched with a cheerful person's while I slept. Even the realization that No. 3 and I met two years ago today (pretty sure, anyway) did nothing to depress me. Yet.

Either way, I don't trust it.

I was thinking the same thing--I'm sure receptionists see all kinds of stuff. I think of the time I was sobbing hysterically while making an appointment with the receptionist of my former p-doc (same receptionist that MC and ex-T had for years--ex-p-doc was in same practice for a bit). She asked me if I wanted some water. She'd seen me in all kinds of states after appointments, but it was the first time she'd asked if I needed anything.

Or...without revealing details...a time I saw my Gyn for something and said I felt really awkward about it, fearing she was judging me. And she said, reassuringly, "We deal with life."