Couch 166: The Un-hex-hexed Couch

velcro, would you have a better chance of getting the responses you're looking for by just creating a thread with an open ended question instead of a poll? I often find polls hard to answer when there are editorial comments in the options, because while I might agree with the fundamental answer, I don't agree with the spin, which often shows more how the poster feels about the options than anything else. But if what you're wanting is an overview at a glance--x numbers of people hide, X numbers make no eye contact, etc., then a poll would be the way to go. Just make sure to let people select more than one option in case they do more than one thing.

I think it might work better as an open ended discussion question rather than a poll. Plus the life of a pollster is not an easy one as there is always criticism over the poll choices even where there are choices of plain yes, no, sometimes/maybe and other.
And there is always a good chance that the poll choices are not meant to be taken all that seriously.

I like the editorial choices because they’re funny. I still remember with a chuckle the one that included the Roman death penalty.

I don’t take the polls on here—or any polls—very seriously. The pollster’s viewpoint is always built in. You can get completely different results by just adding something like a politician’s name to your question. Even sample selection is guesswork.

I’d just ask an open-ended question, v.

I don't take them seriously either. Mostly, they seem to be an entertainment for the pollster, but it seems that a lot of people enjoy them. It's sometimes interesting to participate and/or watch how they implode.

I think the pollster is making a contribution to the community. Thats why i make them? It takes me out of my comfort zone.

The second one talked about how people are free to be their real self at a therapy appointment and that it was important for a therapist to be authentic. I have no idea why someone would feel realer at a therapy appointment than anywhere else. I did not realize people felt not real in most of their life. And I have no idea why a therapist would think of their therapist persona as authentic or why a client would care.
Baffling as all get out to me.

I was able to shake it off for a bit. Remembered that I'm here for my students.



That's when I left and sobbed for a few minutes. I was okay afterward. Thank goodness the training is over now. Never again will I do this.

I think it might be better as just an open-ended question too just because there could be SO many different variables in non-verbal actions. I'm already thinking about how i'd answer it...

For me, when I do them, usually a couple of answers in the poll are entertainment for me, but aside from that, I am always interested in seeing how other people react, respond and look at therapy and their reasons for it.

I started doing polls as a way to get to have the discussion without people trying to give me advice which I was not seeking nor did I want.

Ugh. The final exam is multiple choice. I much prefer essay questions. Multiple choice always feel like trick questions to me! And we only get 30 minutes! Double ugh. (I am so spoiled with the 3 hours she gave us for the essay quizzes.)

eh but no bigs I can always do the extra credit paper if need be!

I think I am less real at a therapy appointment than I am in life.

Wow, that sounds really difficult. I'm glad it's over.

Not me. I'm equally the most 'real' I get with my drumming folks and with t. I hate that I'm not more 'real' in life. Oh wait. It's not that I ever feel like I'm not real as in I don't exist, I mean that like, there's a larger measure of hiding who I really am outside of therapy/drumming circles.

Of course, I'm still trying to figure out who the 'real me' is half the time. Which could be part of the problem.

I am more wary

I feel like I am breaking Blondie but I'm too exhausted to do anything different.

She said she found it difficult to not answer the questions I was asking -- I was asking her if she'd ever been stuck in a way that's been my current state of mind and if yes, how did she get out of it.

She gave me generic-ish answers -- yes, and intensive therapy and volunteering (at a nursing home, soup kitchen etc) apparently.

I really just wanted to ask her if she ever felt like she was in a constant state of fragmentation and disintegration and how did she get out of it -- am pretty sure she'll give me some generic stuff for that again.

She believes the way I'm functioning (or really not) right now is by dissociating enough to focus on work or otherwise, chaos reigns.

I told her (fully expecting she'll roll her eyes at the implausibility of it but instead she tagged it as more dissociation) that the reason I believe I stayed conscious and talking through the weird heartbeat episode (to everyone's surprise) is because I was trying my damnedest to meditate using my breath (which was of course out of whack).

So, while she believes all my meditation = dissociation, she's been encouraging me to meditate to deal with current crap.

Sometimes, I think we're stuck on two far-away islands and communicating through morse code that is written in a dead language, vaguely known to only one of us (it's a toss-up as to who).

Otherwise, it's a lovely day here -- I should go for a walk or do some such healthy thing, if I can manage to stop being petrified and paralyzed by the prospect of stepping out of my house.

You are all lovely but do I have so much love(yes ack sorry SD specifically) for both you and ATAT. My therapy rands converted to dollars (South African here) should be going to you both. Okay therapist is neither here nor there but psychiatrist is a downright asshole.

I am rather drunk so none of this makes sense. I will answer the authenticity question when I've sobered up as I alluded to it when I answered an earlier poll.

Ooh, AY’s corollary to Searle’s Chinese room theory?

Piaf would say, just build a boat and sail between the islands.

Me, I’d point out you know someone who knows some dead languages.

As for breakable Blondies, you’re the one who needs help. She doesn’t.

In therapy I am only my problems or flaws. There is so much more to me than that. Maybe only part of me is apparent to a date or a student or my family, but what they see is closer to all of me than what I deal with in therapy.

I keep thinking I should learn Pāli.

You know, I would find it hard to not be bloody-minded and push the boundaries of Piaf the Practical's practicality -- E.g. What if all boats available were rickety? And, the water body in between is filled with sharp rocks and perilous? And, neither of the islands has a landing strip for a helicopter? And, I don't know how to swim and upper body strength sucks? Etc.

Blondie did say -- without any irony -- that tennis is one of the things she looks forward to in life. But, now she has tennis elbow (I forgot to ask her to quantify its impact on her will to live).

(I thought you'd appreciate that little factoid.)

I put up such high walls to protect the depression, anxiety, and real-me from coming out with colleagues and students that I am exhausted by the end of the day. In t I can let those walls down. At home, depending on the mood of others in the house I can be more-or-less real, as needed, or more-or-less asleep.

I think my t sometimes lets her authentic self out. But I tend to be so self absorbed during t that I don't pay much attention to how she is responding to me.

I just paid all my bills for the month of May. To not be behind for once, but rather ahead feels so good. Now I just have to remember to save the extra money I’ll have all month and not use it on frivolous things.

Someone please tell me everything will be okay

Yeah, I am seeing it should just be an open-ended thread. Thanks guys!
I wouldn't say I feel "less" real in life, but as explained below, my job allows me to not be in my head, so I can function and pretend I am a normal human. When working with toddlers, the focus is on them 100% of the time, and there is no room for personal life to come into play, either in my own head or co-workers prying (which they don't do, probably because I can keep a sort of distance, and the fact that we are all in charge of preschoolers).

I actually have a hard time understanding myself, which has been the main focus of therapy for a little while now, so who knows.
This is what I can't decide. Am I more or less real in therapy? I am a teacher to two year olds, so there is no way I can hide in a corner with them I think my job, as exhausting as it is for me, is a good thing. For 8 hours of the day I do not have a second to be in my own head--except when their antics supercede my ability to cope. Luckily it rarely happens, and I am better able to calm myself down. Unfortunately, I think medication helps with that. I say unfortunately, because I am wary in believing in it.

I live alone with my two cats, and 99% of the time not at work is on my couch or in my bed...so clearly I am not hiding from anyone or anything. WHen I do hang out with my friend, I am not like that...I can act like a normal, functioning human, and I know it is good for me. That being said, while she knows I am in therapy and have depression, there is a lot she doesn't know, that only my T knows.

Everything will be okay!

You will be ok, whisper.

Madame T and I are going to grow old separately.