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#1
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Has the therapist you hire ever explained what the point of naming emotions or having them is? The woman, in her way of trying to obfuscate every answer, told me the point was information but not how one would use such information. I have no use for the information that I know of. It is sort of like being able to give the greek alphabet. I can do it, but there is no point to it. It is useless information. I don't need more useless information that won't even help me win at trivia night.
What does being able to name an emotion do for you? Did the therapist explain it to you?
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
![]() computerteacher, SalingerEsme, weaverbeaver
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#2
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No but I just refer to them all as crap.
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![]() autonoe, SalingerEsme, weaverbeaver
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#3
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Quote:
![]() ![]() Right now the emotion I feel is amusement. But you’re right, not useful. I do not understand the purpose of saying “I am sad.” Just deal with it in whatever fashion one wants—cry, watch TV, go for a walk, etc. Or recite the Greek alphabet as a distraction: alpha, beta, gamma, delta, epsilon, zeta, eta, theta... Last edited by atisketatasket; May 16, 2018 at 11:45 AM. |
![]() unaluna
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#4
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I was told to name emotions in order to acknowledge them (rather than just the generic "I felt rubbish") and that by acknowledging them I could accept that they exist without judging myself for feeling them.
Of course, I failed spectacularly at this because I am rubbish at naming emotions and even more rubbish at not judging myself for them. |
![]() atisketatasket, unaluna
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![]() seeker33
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#5
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Quote:
- Gomez Addams Eta - it might make one's storytelling, or even internal pov, more... interesting? if one could describe more than a single note of emotion. Idk. Like music. Otherwise it could be like putting too much chili pepper on everything. |
![]() atisketatasket, WarmFuzzySocks
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#6
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It seems a very incurious approach to life to not want to be able to accurately describe internal experiences. There doesn't need to be a more tangible reason beyond exploration or communication.
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#7
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So I have a quote from a pretty amazing guy that I apply to many aspects of my own therapy. I believe this 100% and it has more or less become my motto over the years....
"Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone." -Mr.Rogers |
![]() unaluna
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#8
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My therapists never did this but I do talk about the different definitions and experiences of emotions with friends and colleagues and I find it both interesting and useful. I am not always aware of what I am feeling in the moment though so I do find it helpful to become aware of my own feelings and know where they come from, because they influence my decisions and acts whether I am aware or not. Don't think someone else can do that for me accurately but just defining, I see it similarly to using a dictionary when I am unsure about the generally perceived meaning of a word. Then I can try to use the word more appropriately in the future. Like learning a language I am interested in learning and using, either fluently or just on basic levels, a few words etc. I have an interest in trying to use language and descriptions accurately so for me it is interesting even if I fail at it.
I don't think it is useful if someone is not interested and if a T tried to impose it, it is indeed outside of the scope and no point. |
#9
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According to my T it should help me to understand myself better and learn what I really want and like, which should help with decision making and getting unstuck, since those are the things I struggle with. I'm yet to discover if that's true but it's scary how unaware I was before I met him. But if one is ok with the way thing are, I don't see the reason they need to be doing that.
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#10
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EMDR T is big on naming emotions. She says that by naming them one is acknowledging them so they can deal with it and move on.
She does this herself as well. A while back something happened in the building that was obviously causing her stress. I asked if she was okay she said yes. But I could tell she was nervpus so I asked her if she was sure. At that point she said what was going on and why. Then she said there I named it and now I am better. It was obvious she was more relaxed and the session went on as normal.
__________________
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#11
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my T hasn’t really ever asked me to name emotions.
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#12
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I think t’s in the past encouraged the naming of emotions so I could learn what to do about them if anything. If the emotion was attached to a need I had to learn to ask for what I needed. This comes naturally to lots of people but I grew up in an invalidating family so I had to unlearn invalidating my own emotions.
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#13
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I honestly don't remember if I figured this out from therapists or from reading something, but I do find naming emotions useful in understanding them and managing them better, and also communicating about them to other people. It's most useful for recognizing and communicating the relative strength of them. I tend to have very strong emotions sometimes, and I would like to be more in control of those strong emotions. The first step to that seems to be understanding them, and understanding for people often comes from language.
For example: anxiety--when I have a pelvic exam I am terrified. (I have a phobia). When I see a bug I am a little nervous. (no phobia. I just don't like them). Both "terrified" and "a little nervous" are on the anxiety scale. I would consider it huge progress if I could get from "terrified" even down to "scared" on vaginal exams. "A little nervous" and I would consider the phobia fixed. The specificity is important when explaining my anxiety to therapists and doctors. If I say "I don't like pelvic exams" they say "so what, nobody likes them." But if I say "I am terrified of pelvic exams," they seem to understand it more. |
![]() Anonymous45127, growlycat
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#14
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Well, from my perspective, this was an important part of therapy that I did in my early 20s, which included some breakthrough work. I was brought up in a violent home and both of my parents actively discouraged any expression of emotion -- verbal or even facial. My siblings, who did no therapy at all, still have POKER FACES. Which is useful for gambling trips to Vegas, but not so useful in social settings.
So it was vital for me to learn to identify emotions both inside myself and shown by others. It was also good for me to discover gradations of those emotions. Before this kind of therapy, all I could recognize in myself or others was WHITE...happy and BLACK...angry -- both were mostly suppressed. Before this therapy, I was kind of a Mister Spock and after this therapy, I was able to name emotions and say...I was feeling ennui, feeling wistful, feeling peaceful, feeling joyful, feeling restless, lots of different feelings. Once there were shades of grey, my emotions became changeable and manageable. Before, I was a hostage to my emotional state. Before this therapy, my feelings were either deeply buried/inscrutable or overwhelming and endless. Those extremes started to melt away, though I still have problems today being either flooded by emotions or completely numb. I think the management and awareness of emotional states are a giant predictor of an individual's success and happiness. I'm still working towards this kind of equanimity. I'm not pleased to admit that for a period of about a year, I had a chart of the VARIOUS emotions in my bedroom and I stared at these before I went to sleep. I always thought that there was some ideal "healthy" family where kids would be exposed to these myriad emotions as they grew up and learn to name and manage their feelings. I don't believe or long for this any more because I did it for myself, later in life. And I'd like to think it helped me get where I am today. |
![]() ElectricManatee, MobiusPsyche
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#15
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Quote:
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![]() growlycat
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![]() growlycat
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#16
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I did more in therapy with matching an existing feeling to a description in order to gain control, than to identify feelings. I'd already figured most of that out for myself through literature and TV. When you're brought up being told abuse is "love" and that your feelings don't exist--but somehow you're experiencing them in uncomfortable ways--there's a need for re-education.
If someone is content without experiencing/recognizing emotions by and large, then I think naming/explaining them maybe is irrelevant. But I make sense of my world through metaphor, so I can't imagine functioning without it. I do think there's responsibility involved and therapists shouldn't be so cavalier about assuming emotional recognition to always be a positive thing. I think it's very akin to what Vicki Hearne talks about in "Adam's Task": that naming (in this case of an animal), in a metaphysical way, is an act of obligation to take responsibility for life consequences. |
![]() BonnieJean
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#17
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Once upon a time, some therapists coached clients to handle conflict by naming emotions--i.e. I feel --anger--when you did that.
My therapist said that to me I feel --anger--that you're terminating. My internal dialogue was flippant, but I didn't express that aloud for fear I would provoke the therapist to feel any more --anger. I think she expected me to halt in my tracks and the seas to part. Madam feels anger. My example of this absurdity is "I feel anger when you pour soup over my head." It distances and narrates the emotion rather expresses its immediacy. In my opinion, the "I feel anger" device in a conflict makes one sound like a robot. |
![]() atisketatasket
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#18
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No, I haven't had a therapist explain to me why this information should be named. I suppose, if I am out of touch with my emotions, it might be helpful to name them as part of an effort to better regulate myself or otherwise improve my overall level of contentment. For example, if I have a tendency to cry every night, it would be useful for me to identify loneliness as an emotion I experience particularly poignantly in the evening. Just crying doesn't tell me what's wrong or help me to avoid continuing to cry every night. Knowing that I am lonely is useful information to have if I want to stop being so miserable. Sure, lots of times emotions just are, and we can't just change them because we want to (despite what some therapists might say). Yet there are also times when identifying an emotion provides insight, options, and a measure of control over our future emotions.
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#19
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I had one tell me to notice and label the emotion. No clue what it was supposed to do for me. Maybe make me aware? Help me be present in the moment? IDK. I don't do it anyway.
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#20
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T explained why emotions are so important and in her way of working, it’s better to release the emotions than turning them back on yourself.
She explained that unexpressed emotions can turn toxic like anger turned onwards turns to depression and self loathing, etc.... As we work together t will name what she is feeling and that is very helpful because I am learning to identify healthy expression and unhealthy expression. Sometimes ya feelings infuriate me like when she wanted me to report my abuser and I wish she wouldn’t name them sometimes but most of the time it’s helpful. |
#21
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No my t did try but anyone provoking of emotions leds me shutting down so i think we are taking the scenic route atm
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#22
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My T wants me to be able to name emotions so that she can attempt to understand how I am feeling -- which is hard when my emotional vocab is basically just "sad, happy, angry." But even though she gave me this dumb "emotions wheel" -- am I a child? -- I still cannot name my emotions. That's because they are feelings, they're not words. Feelings are complex and for me they're better explained in allegories than in simple words.
__________________
stay afraid, but do it anyway. |
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