Couch 171: Scams R Us

Pshaw....technical details.

RR, I hope everything is OK.

Ugh my therapist spends so much time in Provincetown (I “accidentally” social media stalked her tonight), and I get really jealous. I hope I marry someone with two moms who are super wealthy and live in PTown and have season tickets to Kate Clinton shows....
in other news, I’ve been watching The Bachelorette tonight and am Team Jason!

I think it is some sort of pom ball toy
https://www.amazon.com/Rimobul-Assor...+pom+ball+worm

https://www.amazon.com/TECH-P-Sparkl...+balls+cat+toy

We are getting to the heart of things now.

My greatest fear in life is ending up alone and miserable like my grandmother was (not my beloved grandma, the other one). I feel like I have to be what h wants or he will leave me. But you know what, I just got off the phone with him again (I called him back to make sure we were ok) and he kinda went off the rails telling me how he is just sick of me being so wishy-washy and tired of us fighting all the time (I didn't perceive us as fighting all the time, but he does apparently) and i should just do whatever the hell I want because he doesn't give a **** anymore.

Oh.

Ouch.

I had no idea he was feeling this way. I somehow did not start bawling. While he was yelling all of that we got disconnected. He called me back and asked if I felt better after hanging up on him. I said I didn't hang up on you. The call dropped for whatever reason. He was calmed down again and said that he just wants me to fix myself. I said are we going to be ok? He said I hope so. He's tired of me always asking him what I should do about things said that I just need to do what makes me happy and not always hem and haw around him and question myself all the time just make a decision and do it. Any decision is better than no decision. He said I knew you weren't ready to quit. But i wasn't going to say anything you had to make that decision yourself.

I don't want to go back now. But that would be doing what I think HE wants which he just told me he doesn't want me to do. He said just fix yourself.

I've been trying so hard to do what I think he wants me to do that I don't even know what I want anymore.

I wonder if my marriage is going to survive.

Hugs, Art, that sounds like a really difficult phone call...

I’m watching a show on women who want to help people escape the FLDS. It’s sad how brainwashed these people are but so many want to leave. This one woman thinks she needs to repent for having trouble waking up at 5am.

The message may not have been delivered well but there are some things to listen to there. This isn’t a criticism, art, but I do want to say that speaking from experience, to have a spouse who is indecisive or anxious or lacks confidence in themselves can be really stressful. You feel like you’re responsible for them too. It’s real pressure to think someone else, another adult, depends on you like that.

He fell in love with you. Be you, not an appendage of his. If you think you want something, pay attention to that before wondering what he wants. If he doesn’t like it, let him deal with it (and it actually sounds like he would).

Art, I don’t think you ever wanted to leave therapy. So go back if you want to go back, and screw what you think anyone else wants. Because living your life according to what others want is not the way to be the best you. And it sounds like your childhood again.

Trust yourself.

This just in: pineapple coconut white chocolate Hershey’s kisses are not recommended by ATAT.

Thank you. So much. You make a lot of sense.

This is so hard.

Could you just string some of those sparkly balls together with some yarn? I guess you'd need a pretty big needle for that.

Sending healing energies your way. Sounds scary.

I’ve thought of that—it’s some kind of stiff twine, but I’m sure Lowe’s would have something suitable.

Exactly!
Double exactly!

"I've been trying so hard to do what I think he wants me to do that I don't even know what I want anymore. "

I think this is a very hard way to live among other things.

Hugs, rr, I hope everything is all right.

I had to go through callback/ultrasound twice. The tech told me that they tend to overscreen to avoid making mistakes.

When is the appointment?

My husband gave me untold grief about going to therapy, both individual and group. He told me repeatedly that I was too stupid, naive and childish to handle therapy. It hurt to hear and I still wonder if he wasn't right in his assessment of me, but I knew I needed some support and I went anyway. You do what you want to do. It doesn't even matter if it's a need or not. If having that relationship enhances your life, then do it for you.

Maybe someone does that on Etsy?

Ack - what would ever make you believe they might be?
Just the idea of them gives me the willies.

I think spouses/partners can also feel threatened by therapy because it can make someone stronger and more sure of themselves. Which can change the dynamic in the partnership.

The smaller sparkly poms seem to have pretty small centers if I remember correctly from the UMPTEEN bajillion sparkly craft projects I set up when the kids were little. If the yarn/twine wouldn't go through them, you could try stringing them together with fishing line then attach the twine ends using fishing line as well.

I can't make any jokes about the size of the sparkly balls because my username has a U.

ATAT: this website has toys that are sort of similar?

https://catteasersandmore.com/balls-toys

In fact, when I told him I was emailing a therapist to set up an appt, he told me he didn't want me to go. So I went for the first 2 months or so without telling him. Once I told him, I decided he was never to know my therapist's name. I highly suspected that he would eventually call him up and be terrible. All he was allowed to know what that it was a male therapist. I even went so far as to clear the GPS cache in the car and hide my parking receipts from him, which is why I now have every parking receipt for 2 years worth of sessions.

Also, it seems that Etsy has a bunch of sellers who will make cat toys for you!

Good for you!