Couch 171: Scams R Us

Anyone ever see a cat toy like this and if so where? It is new cat’s favorite toy and I live in fear of losing it.

I don’t get it either. Miserable is no way to live if you are that unhappy it’s better to leave.
At my wedding reception my father kept saying to me “Are you happy? Because if you are not happy, it’s not too late. We can make this whole thing go away. Just make sure you are happy”. He was saying it in a silly tone of voice as to be playful but he was trying to convey that it’s okay if it didn’t work out. (August 12th will be 12 years married for us but we’ve been together for 18 years total)
I also didn’t get married in a church as thats just not my thing-so I don’t know if religious beliefs are playing a part in your family members situation.

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I get that idea in theory, but there's still this big 'ol part of me that just wants to be done with it already. I dunno. Something to talk about in the next coupla months.

Have you tried looking up sparkly Pom balls? It sort of looks like those.

Wouldn't it be lovely if you could just walk away and not look back! But human relationships don't work like that.

When will you know the results?

I am rooting for you to be the one to prove that the elusive insanity clause should totally apply and we’re all saved from further insanity.

Yeah, and she’s got a bunch of those, but what I can’t find is four strung together like this one. She likes to carry it around in her mouth more than the single balls.

(No off-color jokes, una! Or AY.)

Yeah that's kinda what t said today about how i can't just cut off my feelings cold turkey or whatever. Grr.

It looks like something PetSmart would carry. Out of any of the stores in my (small) city, it carries the most cat toys.

Relationships — dunno but I’m not sure I’ve seen one up close and personal that both lasted more than a few years and wasn’t somewhere on the spectrum of garden-variety miserable to very-miserable.

I think people give longevity a lot more credit than they should — like just sticking around is proof of success.

(Except of course in the motherland where longevity is a given but in that case, no one actually expects to be happy or have that be a barometer of anything or usually even know what that feels like in the context of a relationship with another individual.)

Sending positive vibes your way.

Tried PetSmart and PetCo and various supermarkets and Walmart.

I was looking forward to off color jokes.

I’m not sure where to find those balls strung together. Maybe if not in a pet store than a craft store like AC Moore or Michaels or Joann Fabrics if you have any of those in your area.

I didn’t say you couldn’t make off-color jokes...

Have at it! The floor is yours.

H just called to let me know he will be home late cuz he's up north a bit. I told him "I'm going back to therapy briefly". He laughed. Then he said the same person? or someone new? I said no the same person. I do NOT want to start over that would take forever. He said well I hope it's not for another 6 years. I said no it will not be. That after I had the panic attack over the weekend I knew I had left too soon. He said something about I need to do what I need to do. But I could hear disdain in his voice. Damn it. I should have waited til he was home before I told him but it just kinda came out before I could stop it.

Now I'm questioning myself. Maybe I can still go in there Thursday and apologize and tell her I made a mistake calling her and I should not have come back. I don't know what I am doing.

Why can't I just stand up to him and tell him this is what I want?!

How do others with spouses that don't want them in therapy deal with this? Am I wrong to want both? Am I wrong to want to be the best me I can be for him, for our marriage, for our son?

Why do I feel so defective right now?

Discrimination in the matter of off-color jokes on the basis of anonymous Internet forum usernames is a serious offence.

I can understand forbidding Una — I mean you’re getting it on with her or not or what.

But, why me?

I'm not married and have been single forever....but if he can't support you being in therapy, then I'd be like "Well i am sorry, but this is my decision, so screw you!"

(okay probably not the last bit, i would just think that )

Art what if he was either subtly or overtly pressuring you to do/not do something different? Like stop taking classes or stop losing weight or stop cutting your hair? It makes me angry, because you clearly have a need to continue, and it seems you quit because of his attitude towards it. At the end of the day, it is money you earn, time you spend, it doesn't take away from your household budget and it makes you (mostly) happy. Why does he get to control this?

I think I am projecting, I apologize.

Do you think your husband is an ideal to be followed in terms of having halfway decent emotional intelligence?

If not, I wouldn’t go by what he says.

(If it isn’t abundantly clear — his responses to your going to therapy are in and of themselves, pretty bizarre and reflective of where he is (or rather not) emotionally. Even if therapy was truly objectively destructive to your well-being, I don’t see any of his responses as being remotely emotionally mature, respectful or healthy.)

Any username with a U in it can’t make off-color jokes?

And come on, AY...we all know that you’re just a younger version of una.

Well, poop.

Why don’t you focus on being the best you for you? And everyone else can go screw themselves.

I shall start a petition on Change.org to say that the people have spoken and such fascist rules cannot be allowed to stand in the all-important matter of commentary related to the similarity in shape of certain feline toys to organs conventionally providing considerable amusement and provoking mirth in the popular imagination.

Yeah, that.

I think you’re forgetting two other functions of those organs...