Couch 172: Couch me if you can

I agree with CNS.

I've never heard of that window thing. Thanks for the link. Can it actually be helpful? I mean being old school and stuff? Not that old school is necessarily a bad thing of course. I'm old after all.

Nah, I've seen your picture, you don't meet my definition of old.

art - is it possible the therapist tries to get you to talk about finances because of how much you fret about them and she wants you to see that you are not doing badly but also that you have other options - so when you say things like you need your husband's income or he needs yours - she is trying to show you that there are other ways of looking at these things and that neither of you is trapped or going to send the other to debtor's prison?

Is debtor's prison a real thing? If so, I better get a lawyer before I end up there.

lol! i thought the same thing.

True story. Then it will just be a vicious cycle because I won’t be able to pay the lawyer!

Jail it is. Who’s bailing me out?

Where did all of that come from sd? You kinda sound like her. Are you my t in disguise?

And now SD is going to represent us in court.

Oh man, I got into a rather stupid contract with my landlord — I can’t get out of my year long lease unless I find someone else.

I offered to pay her 2 months of rent regardless but she’s having none of it.

She is apparently though also looking for people to take it over. And, in that, thinks the best chance of renting is if I move out by the end of the month before school starts. So, basically I’m having to find a place (could crash with friends but still) and move out super quick without knowing if the frickin’ place will be rented out or not.

Uh, that sucks, royally, I’m sorry. If you are in good standing with her and have been a good tenant then I am wondering why she won’t just take the 2 months rent and find someone especially since she’s a little more confident that it will be rented if it’s empty. But, I get that she doesn’t want to be stuck with it and you did sign a contract. I wish she could cut you the break, though. Ugh.

That does it. Your T is not fit to practice.

I make way less money than my wife and that is NOT grounds for divorce.

It must be horrible to have a trigger you can't avoid.

Johari Window...old school, indeed. Haven't heard that one since it turned up in business curricula in the '80's. I'll bet that's when some T's got it in their training.


I've never met a T that had anything worthwhile to say about employment, the work force, or finances. Maybe there are some who specialize in employment areas, but basic Ts live in a bubble of their own making (as self-employed), in the bubble of Universities (not a model of employment any other industry follows), or in often mismanaged agencies. They just are clueless. And they are just as subject to discomfort around money and its relation to self-worth issues as anybody else.

I love the options on my university’s academic status reports in answer to the question “What do you recommend the student do?”

Attend class. Complete assignments.

Don’t cheat.

No options for "stop whining" or "stop thinking you are ever so special" or "don't expect me to find you fascinating"?

"Remember I am not your mother"

Alas. Would damage their self-esteem.

Mine is more don't cheat but if you do anyway for god's sake be good at it because me having to deal with it if I find out is a giant bureaucratic pain

Just last year I had a student contact me after I failed him (for missing about 2/3 of the semester). Yes, he said, he’d screwed up, but could I have mercy because he’d spent the semester in the library reading?

He included a list of the dozen or so books he’d read, most of which had something to do with Bob Dylan.

Hi all. Just having a quiet evening. Think I need to do laundry.

I have told certain students who have failed every graded assignment because they did not turn it in and skipped 2/3rds of my class, that they are doomed to fail my class no matter what they get on the final -that it is a mathematical impossibility to pass- and I encourage them to drop my class, and they actually stand there and argue that they will get an A+ on said exam and ask me why I am not more supportive.