Couch 172: Couch me if you can

P.S. It might not be a bad idea to speak to one or more of these, just to see where you stand financially and what the next steps are if things really go south.

Never mind. Way too vulnerable with that thought.

I like that analogy. I also think it's helpful to think about that when it comes to other people. I bet we would all be surprised if we could know what's really going on in the lives of some of the other people who seem to have it totally together.

I hope my therapist is on his game today and not jet-lagged or something. He's going to need to be present today.

And still the number three is after me

See, you have a normal therapist. I said something similar to Piaf yesterday, only it was more like I said I didn’t understand why people like my colleagues thought I was good at my job, stuff like that.

In response, she unleashed something called the Johari Window on me (cue looking up stuff on phone).

(Not to be outdone, I later in the session lectured her about the Dunning-Krueger effect.)

I think I should probably take a grammar course or some sort of remedial English course as I try to work my way into a job. I have to be able to type things out professionally (emails and stuff and use proper grammar) Also another issue is that I’m very monotone and I have a strong South Philly accent so none of my words have proper endings when I talk and people who can hear me talk who don’t know me often think I am speaking with an attitude but that is not the case. I need to figure out how to sound like I am interested when I am on the phone. Someone told me in the past that if I smile when I am talking on the phone that it might help a little with the tone of my voice.

Rule 1: An interrobang never got anyone a job.

I have the same problem talking on the phone. I pitch my voice a bit higher and try to visualize punctuation to make me sound chirpy. So instead of “oh, hi,” I say “Oh, hi!”

Someone please save me from the number three monster

LT, it sounds like a good analogy. See in therapy..the therapist sees a certain version of you and in the outside world it’s different. I used to tell ex T all the time that I wish she could follow me around one day so she could see the adult version of me that is a functioning member of society. She used to tell me that she would not need to follow me around to know that.

I had a massage this morning. Sometimes, especially when my back is tight, memories or emotions or images surface, and it can be pretty challenging.

Today when she hit those spots, all I could see was sunflowers.
The only clear image I got was myself, resting and recharging.

I even drifted off for a little bit.

I am a little miffed about one thing: I thought of the perfect first lines for my book. I thought, I'll write them down as soon as I get home and that will give me the jump start I need! Except I'm not writing a book, nor have I had any intention of doing so, and when I woke back up I'd forgotten that perfect start, which is a shame because they were so great I might very well have started one just because.

I've said something similar to T before. How I said in some ways, he knows more about me than most anyone else. At the same time, he doesn't have a true picture of me because he doesn't see me doing my work, out with friends, being a mom, otherwise functioning in the world. He said that was a good point.

That’s a good idea. I think I might just need to practice by doing recordings of my voice and keep working to change it.

Mine gave me the Johari window early on.

In the hidden/hidden square I drew a "Here Be Dragons" picture.
(In reality, they're probably just lizards, but go big, right?)

I like the way you think.

I started taking yoga classes a few months ago. I'm surprised by how much I like it, but now I'm having intense emotions come up, especially when the instructor (who I adore) touches me to correct a pose. I can't tell if it's good or bad to feel these emotions. It's certainly disruptive. I don't know if some of my childhood stuff really counts as trauma, but it feels like it's bringing all of that to the surface. It's not terribly pleasant, but I don't want to quit either.

Ohhh...the Johari window is old school.

My dad used to teach it (but never of course remotely saw the application of it in his own life

I would rewatch My Fair Lady and sing The rain in Spain stays mainly in the Plain a lot.
There is no problem some musical cannot solve.

I probably would have asked the woman if she had gone mad or if she thought I was that much of an idiot.

That coulda been me! thats one of my things i tell people! i read it somewhere. It makes you sound confident.

Did you see Randy Rainbow's new parody:
"(he is the very model of) A Very Stable Genius"

And in other news, im getting some housework done. When my knee isnt aching to high heaven, i actually do do stuff!!

Excellent!

I just saw a job that requested when emailing resume to put “I Am Excited About This Job” in the subject line and list on the email the 2 most recent books that were read by the applicant.
Are they just testing to see if someone can follow directions?

Probably yes. They want to see whether you read the listing and not just apply to everything.