Couch 173: The Odiferous One

My email to the two neighbors who were "weeding" for me.

The response I got from the one I suspected of removing my flowers:

I must have missed something.

Eta never mind I found it

I recently had the actual lawn portion of my yard ripped out and replaced with pine bark chips because I couldn't take care of it. It took me a long time to make even that happen because I'm failing at life right now. It seemed so hard to just talk to someone on the phone about this. I feel like such a failure.

How could he possibly tell it's his aorta, unless he's a trained medical professional or had some issue with it in the past? That to me should make the doctors wonder what's going on. Like it's one thing to come in saying you have chest pain or you can feel your blood pumping stronger than usual, but to go in and say, "I think there's something wrong with my aorta" just sort of suggests health anxiety and overgoogling to me...

I do wonder if he could have been going to the hospital hoping to be admitted to avoid seeing the T? I hope he does go and actually is open with the T and that he/she can help him.


The crisis line sounds pretty useless... I guess you could try the depression group once and see what they're like?

"Ooooh! My ovaries!" -- Bart Simpson

In the end he said he doesn't know what to do and that he thinks of it like we're on a boat with no paddle. We just need to stop and take in where we are rather than try to go anywhere.

I don't think I've ever experienced this heady feeling of which you all speak. It sounds dangerous.

Had an eye test and ordered new glasses this morning. Does anyone else memorize the sequence of letters on the chart and parrot it back when they use the same row again?

I do the same thing in hearing tests, figure out the supposedly randomized sound pattern and press the button for when I “hear” a sound accordingly.

So I’m probably deafer and blinder than it says on paper. But it’s like I do it automatically.

Scarlet — I don’t know how much of this is true with your husband but all of this really reminds me of my father and brother.

My father got himself admitted to the hospital multiple times when I was a kid for weeks on end for either totally undiagnosed conditions (like stomach ache for which there was no cause) or something that was quickly treated (like the start of an episode of jaundice) but he didn’t think he was okay even after getting it cured. Every time there’d be a solemn family meeting of what’ll happen when he kicks the bucket (he’s still alive). Same with my brother — he’s been convinced he’s on the verge of dying for every sneeze and cough.

From what I’ve observed though, I think it’s a plea for attention and emotional caring of some sort — however, they are so incapable of recognizing that they need it, let alone verbalize it, that it comes out in the form of these nonsensical health related things.

This is especially the case if all along they’ve sort of been the “stronger” party (for instance, it’s my mother who actually was really ill most of the time rather than my father; and similarly I was a pretty sick kid with bouts of asthma and other similar crap whereas my brother was largely in pretty good health).

I don’t know how to break through about it to them though — the general personality is also super controlling, aggressive and argumentative and so my strategy is just to avoid them altogether (which doesn’t seem to be an option in your case).

So I'm struggling with the emotional eating thing again and trying to understand why. Scared I'm going to completely lose control and gain back all the weight I lost. It's like the hole opened up again since I went back to therapy and started the codependency work... wth? I've gained back 2 lbs which I know isn't a catastrophe but scares me because what if I can't/won't stop it? and I can't go back to that I can't. I will bring this up w Lulabelle tomorrow. Although I kinda feel like it has something to do w our relationship not feeling the same at all since I went back to therapy. She seemed so annoyed with me last week. I don't know.

Met some donkeys today...whilst I was with them, everything went away for a while. It was nice.

So I'm struggling with the emotional eating thing again and trying to understand why. Scared I'm going to completely lose control and gain back all the weight I lost. It's like the hole opened up again since I went back to therapy and started the codependency work... wth? I've gained back 2 lbs which I know isn't a catastrophe but scares me because what if I can't/won't stop it? and I can't go back to that I can't. I will bring this up w Lulabelle tomorrow. Although I kinda feel like it has something to do w our relationship not feeling the same at all since I went back to therapy. She seemed so annoyed with me last week. I don't know.

So, my lawyer (handling my lease situation) is hot + awesome.

She’s sent a letter to my landlady that just well....screams Boss.

I’m finding her to be vastly more soothing and empathetic and whatnot than Blondie.

I suspect this does not bode well for my future with Blondie.

When I had a good thing going with Madame T, we just sat there in silence feeling the love wash over us. Recommended.