Couch 177: I Get a Strange Magic - ELO

My T told me to go through the feelings tonight too (about letting go of all my doctors). She told me "tears are expected and ok!" It's hard sitting with your feelings...least for me.

What else would they be?

And that’s not a bad thing. Lincoln’s Team of Rivals, etc.

Heading home from Info. It wasn’t a bad session. We came close to a spat when she told me that the same afternoon I missed an appointment, another client showed up later whom Info didn’t have down for an appointment but who had texted her for one. I pointed out that if she’d lost the fee from me if I refused to pay she’d have made it up from that woman and broken even for the day.

I paid her anyway as intended. It is important to take and defend the moral high ground against these people.

Therapist as ally?

If you need your T to be an opponent, fair enough and good luck to you. I just think there ought to be other options.

Okay, so I am camping with BF in the darkest woods ever, and have the dogs snuggled all around, but I keep hearing twigs break. It is very Stephen King. The bonfire is dying down and the sun is gone- day is done gone the sun kind of night. You can tell fall is really aroud the corner.

I finally told my T about Reddit, and he first denied it. Then though I told him that was disappointing bc whoever wrote it was a good therapist and writer , I had been comforted by the sign in name, and I thought we were on the same page in that sensible well disguised post. I also said if he didn't write it, wow I was just a constellation of symptoms and not too individual bc every CPTSD and ever trauma Psychologist must fight the same battled.

After this, the session took on this goofy grin from both of us. It was unlike a normal strict session, and we really smiled at each other for an hour. It felt connected and( sorry BF) like love a bit.

He seemed pleased I though us out of the hole.

Speaking of...kneecapping..."I, Tonya" is delicious. Allison Janney is brilliant.

Am I spamming the RSPCA?

I phoned up a couple of days ago about meeting a cat in their care (possible new friend for Tigger) and I left a facebook reply on the video they put up of her on facebook to say I was interested and I just emailed them as well, just now.

Are they going to get annoyed at me for spamming them?

Okay, so I am camping with BF in the darkest woods ever, and have the dogs snuggled all around, but I keep hearing twigs break. It is very Stephen King. The bonfire is dying down and the sun is gone- day is done gone the sun kind of night. You can tell fall is really aroud the corner.

I finally told my T about Reddit, and he first denied it. Then though I told him that was disappointing bc whoever wrote it was a good therapist and writer , I had been comforted by the sign in name, and I thought we were on the same page in that sensible well disguised post. I also said if he didn't write it, wow I was just a constellation of symptoms and not too individual bc every CPTSD and ever trauma Psychologist must fight the same battled.

After this, the session took on this goofy grin from both of us. It was unlike a normal strict session, and we really smiled at each other for an hour. It felt connected and( sorry BF) like love a bit.

He seemed pleased I though us out of the hole.

Okay, so I am camping with BF in the darkest woods ever, and have the dogs snuggled all around, but I keep hearing twigs break. It is very Stephen King. The bonfire is dying down and the sun is gone- day is done gone the sun kind of night. You can tell fall is really aroud the corner.

I finally told my T about Reddit, and he first denied it. Then though I told him that was disappointing bc whoever wrote it was a good therapist and writer , I had been comforted by the sign in name, and I thought we were on the same page in that sensible well disguised post. I also said if he didn't write it, wow I was just a constellation of symptoms and not too individual bc every CPTSD and ever trauma Psychologist must fight the same battled.

After this, the session took on this goofy grin from both of us. It was unlike a normal strict session, and we really smiled at each other for an hour. It felt connected and( sorry BF) like love a bit.

He seemed pleased I though us out of the hole.

Random Thought: I don’t really have a marriage. I mean, yes, we are married but it’s not a marriage. We just co-exist. Much like room mates. We share the bills. Sure we do some things together-but they are things that have to be done. Go to the grocery store and run other errands. Occasionally we do stream something together on Netflix, and we share a meal once a week but that’s about it. I don’t think we love each other anymore. I think we are just used to being together-almost like we wouldn’t know any other way. This may be TMI- but we haven’t had sex in many years. I have no drive.
Anyways, I don’t want feedback. Maybe just an acknowledgment that someone heard it. I just wanted to put it out there and tell someone.