Couch 177: I Get a Strange Magic - ELO

skeksi · Sep 02, 2018, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

Today is my husband's birthday. I'm wondering how that's going for him in prison.

I really should divorce him. It seems like such a daunting task and an emotional mine field for me. I have no idea how to pick a lawyer. It seems harder to pick a lawyer than a therapist. Then I have to figure out what seems fair monetarily to offer him. Nothing? Something? I have no idea. What if my offer just pisses him off and now he's sitting in prison plotting his revenge? What if he decides to fight me and drags me to court? Can he even do that from prison? Does he have access to legal services in prison? I can't deal with all this.

I wonder if it would help to find a layer who focuses on domestic violence cases. If you have a women’s center in your area, they may have referrals. Or the police may have a victims services.

It must feel so scary to take this step. But it is probably slightly easier to do it now while he is incarcerated, than when he is out and can try to pressure you more.

atisketatasket · Sep 02, 2018, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

Today is my husband's birthday. I'm wondering how that's going for him in prison.

I really should divorce him. It seems like such a daunting task and an emotional mine field for me. I have no idea how to pick a lawyer. It seems harder to pick a lawyer than a therapist. Then I have to figure out what seems fair monetarily to offer him. Nothing? Something? I have no idea. What if my offer just pisses him off and now he's sitting in prison plotting his revenge? What if he decides to fight me and drags me to court? Can he even do that from prison? Does he have access to legal services in prison? I can't deal with all this.

I just Googled for mine and looked at reviews. But I agree with skeksi, look for one with domestic violence experience. Even if that doesn’t become part of the case, they'll know how to use it if it does.

Can I also suggest you stop and consider the progress you’ve made? Just a few months ago you didn’t even want to think about divorce and you blamed yourself. Now you’re talking about divorce and last week you called him an asshole. I know you still feel like crap and I don’t mean to minimize that, but these are good steps forward.

awkwardlyyours · Sep 02, 2018, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

A couple years ago i gave a class an assignment to name their hero. Usually I get Bill Gates, Obama, Sully, Gandhi, MLK, that kind of answer. That year some kid said Erwin Rommel. I was pretty taken aback.

Now if you’re going to pick a Nazi as a hero it pretty much has to be Rommel, and the argument for him would be he treated Jews well, as far as we know was not on board with a lot of Nazi stuff, and may have plotted to assassinate Hitler. Plus great infantry general. So in the context, the kid said, he was a hero. Still—Nazi.

I do tend to think of heroes along the ancient model not the modern one which includes considerations like philanthropy and humanity—Heracles would not be a hero by today’s standards given the murders of his family, but still qualifies by ancient standards as a doer of great deeds.

Ah, I see and yeah, that’s an interesting answer.

(Btw, I’m really restraining myself from holding forth on how everyone on that usual list except for Sully (don’t know enough about him to kvetch) should so not be on that list. But.....yeah.)

Speaking of ancient vs modern perspectives, I was reading an interview this morning of novelist, Pat Barker given the release of her book, “Silence of the Girls” which is interestingly narrated from the viewpoint of Briseis (although yeah, it’s neither the first nor the last book to “re-tell” history, so to speak).

atisketatasket · Sep 02, 2018, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

Speaking of ancient vs modern perspectives, I was reading an interview this morning of novelist, Pat Barker given the release of her book, “Silence of the Girls” which is interestingly narrated from the viewpoint of Briseis (although yeah, it’s neither the first nor the last book to “re-tell” history, so to speak).

I swear I’ve read a novel from Briseis’s perspective before. But blargh I hate retreads like that. Most are bad, only getting good reviews because they “retell” the story from x perspective. And sometimes students read them and come away with wrong ideas—to wit, kids who read Madeline Miller’s “Song of Achilles” are convinced Achilles and Patroclus are a couple and have a totally different concept of Greek homosexuality than the Greeks did.

Deejay14 · Sep 02, 2018, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

Today is my husband's birthday. I'm wondering how that's going for him in prison.

I really should divorce him. It seems like such a daunting task and an emotional mine field for me. I have no idea how to pick a lawyer. It seems harder to pick a lawyer than a therapist. Then I have to figure out what seems fair monetarily to offer him. Nothing? Something? I have no idea. What if my offer just pisses him off and now he's sitting in prison plotting his revenge? What if he decides to fight me and drags me to court? Can he even do that from prison? Does he have access to legal services in prison? I can't deal with all this.

I don't think you owe him anything at all, nonetheless, money. I am betting any divorce lawyer would tell you that.

Sep 02, 2018, 02:35 PM

*leaves some oreos lying around in the thread near tisket*

awkwardlyyours · Sep 02, 2018, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I swear I’ve read a novel from Briseis’s perspective before. But blargh I hate retreads like that. Most are bad, only getting good reviews because they “retell” the story from x perspective. And sometimes students read them and come away with wrong ideas—to wit, kids who read Madeline Miller’s “Song of Achilles” are convinced Achilles and Patroclus are a couple and have a totally different concept of Greek homosexuality than the Greeks did.

True that — they’re usually pretty bad (at least the ones I’ve come across of American + Asian histories).

I’d have wanted to know how far out a view of homosexuality the kids had coz if not, really, there’s no saving grace.

atisketatasket · Sep 02, 2018, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

True that — they’re usually pretty bad (at least the ones I’ve come across of American + Asian histories).

I’d have wanted to know how far out a view of homosexuality the kids had coz if not, really, there’s no saving grace.

It’s more like sexual identity was not a big deal to the Greeks, and that simply because two characters of the same sex express strong affection towards each other does not mean they’re lovers.

Also kind of ignores the role of pederasty.

unaluna · Sep 02, 2018, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deejay14

I don't think you owe him anything at all, nonetheless, money. I am betting any divorce lawyer would tell you that.

I think the state is no-fault, equitable distribution.

stopdog · Sep 02, 2018, 03:00 PM

Would asking how you feel about Mary Renault's novels just give you apoplexy?

Lemoncake · Sep 02, 2018, 03:01 PM

You guys are so smartz.

atisketatasket · Sep 02, 2018, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

Would asking how you feel about Mary Renault's novels just give you apoplexy?

I like the ones I’ve read (Funeral Games and Last of the Wine). But they’re not really trying to retell a literary classic.

awkwardlyyours · Sep 02, 2018, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

It’s more like sexual identity was not a big deal to the Greeks, and that simply because two characters of the same sex express strong affection towards each other does not mean they’re lovers.

Also kind of ignores the role of pederasty.

Ahh....that reminds me a bit of how when folks show up for the first time in the motherland and see two men walking around holding hands, they are amazed at such open acceptance of da gayness when in fact dudes in question are likely totally straight but holding hands doesn’t remotely have the same connotation.

Or yes, the whole lot of passionate “love” poems that have been misinterpreted as super gay when it was actually just pretty normal for the age (or even now in many places).

unaluna · Sep 02, 2018, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

You guys are so smartz.

Dey really iz.

Sep 02, 2018, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

You guys are so smartz.

Dey has much more smartz than me.

Sep 02, 2018, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

You guys are so smartz.

We know you're smart, Lemoncake

stopdog · Sep 02, 2018, 03:18 PM

Not mostly. There are The King Must Die and The Bull from the Sea about Theseus.
I discovered and enjoyed them when coming out a long, long, long time ago. (I think the only person with more longs than I have when describing the time of beginning of college is exhankster)

Lemoncake · Sep 02, 2018, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Dey really iz.

I knew you'd you get me, but thought you might be offended if I said something and mentioned you in it too. xDDD

stopdog · Sep 02, 2018, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

You guys are so smartz.

Right up until you give me an algebra or calculus problem.

Lemoncake · Sep 02, 2018, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whispershadow

We know you're smart, Lemoncake

Ah everyone has their talents....

Mine would be emoticon abuse and quoting random things.

CantExplain · Sep 02, 2018, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Couch mini-poll, topic of which came up with Info Friday.

Heroes—do you have any?

I have two, basically (an athlete and a politician).

I have maybe another half dozen or so people I really admire (a couple public intellectuals, another politician, my mother, etc.).

And below that are people that I have a lot of respect for.

Is this a low number of heroes? It seems low given how often the words hero and heroism get thrown around.

My hero is Maria Theresa.

atisketatasket · Sep 02, 2018, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

Not mostly. There are The King Must Die and The Bull from the Sea about Theseus.
I discovered and enjoyed them when coming out a long, long, long time ago. (I think the only person with more longs than I have when describing the time of beginning of college is exhankster)

But (at the risk of being called smartz) there’s no canonical Theseus text like there is the Iliad or Jane Eyre or Hamlet (Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead is the exception that proves my rule). What we know of Theseus is scattered over local histories, tragedies, and Plutarch’s biography.

So as far as I’m concerned Renault is writing originalish material there.