Couch 181: The Symmetrical Couch

I saw a patient in clinic this morning who sees my former T (the one who got rid of me because my chronic SI was "holding a gun to our heads in therapy"--even though I have always been insanely responsible about getting help/going to the ED when I need to). It brought up all this stuff about how mad and sad I am that she stopped seeing me and how bitter I am about this stupid program I'm in now.

And I just finished two 80 hour weeks on the wards and had to go to clinic today and then am on the night shift for four nights then back to clinic during the day next week. This schedule is actually insane. Humans can't switch contexts and time zones like this, it's just not how the organism is built.

I hate everything about this.

In my country someone looked into why doctors are trained with such torturous regimes and the answer was because that is how it has always been. So we still have sleep deprived junior doctors working 48 hour shifts and trained with old see one do one approach to procedures. I admire anyone who survives that process.

Thanks, BCM.

Ugh. I'm feeling so bad and I'm having so I'm trying to decide whether or not to go to the hospital tonight. I probably wouldn't get admitted because I've gone though this before, so do I want to spend $300 and 7 hours or more waiting to get a 7 minute psych consult? Or just call my PDOC and try to get an appointment sooner? I will be at my parents house so I will not be alone and I will be relatively safe, assuming I tell them what's going on. I'm leaning toward the latter because I could just go to bed early and get some sleep and hopefully things will be rosier in the morning. Actually my morning was okay today...just as the day has gone on, I've gotten more and more depressed. There's actually a clinic nearby I could go to as well, which I've never tried but you can stay there for up to 24 hours I think. I'm just not sure if you can check yourself out once you go in. I'm not really sure how it works and whether or not they take my HMO. I could call them I guess and find out. Maybe that's what I should do. Hugs would be appreciated. Kit.

(((((((((Kit))))))))))),
Sending you lots of hugs. I hope you start to feel better soon.

That sounds so unfair.

Hugs, Kit...maybe call that clinic you mentioned? And do you feel comfortable telling your parents how you're feeling? It does seem like a lot of time/money to go to the ER if you don't think you'd be admitted. I guess the question is, do you think you can keep yourself safe at your parents'? Also, would be worthwhile to try to get earlier p-doc appointment whatever you decide about hospital vs. clinic vs. parents. Also hope you feel better soon...hugs...

I've had a terrible day, but thankfully there is a marathon of halloween episodes for "The office" on right now so I'm hoping it will make me a bit happy

SD: I was proud of myself and thought of you in my last session when I told my T she talked at me. lol.

came across a cute cartoon:

Good job. Always important to stand up for yourself with those people.

I hate everything about your situation too, Chihiro. You should not be forced to get your psych care from the same place that you practice. You should be allowed the same expectation of privacy as any of your peeps. And although it happens, I'm sorry you were put in the position of treating a clinic pt that sees your ex-T.

I have some peeps that see my current T. (I'm a Pdoc), and I don't like it. Feels awkward.

Hang in there ~

Last week i applied for a credit report just out of curiositiy and the top credit reporting agency gave me someone else credit report. Looks pretty good too. I have rung them and emailed them still no response about mine.

Tonight I learned that the members of my writers’ workshop are much more OK with stories about

.

They havent figured out yet that witches were actually just women - unenfranchised. Ya know - so those are true stories too.

CE are you OK? Did your teeth rattle?

ATAT - Maybe one of them had been turned into a newt? And then got better?

Gotta admit I'm intrigued about your stories. If you ever decide to publish them online or in print, I'd love to read them.

Someone asked my mother if I was a writer after hearing my reading for my dad's memorial service, at which I laughed loudly. But it was flattering.

Be warned: sometimes they trigger me.

Info decided to take the route of appeasement after my angry email last night about IFS and another this morning (about how she can’t remember not to pull her chair so close to me).

I might make like stopdog and write a story about a therapist being

Hell, Netflix seems to trigger me on a daily basis, so bring it on.

How do you tell your T that you're angry with them? That you've made her into the "bad guy" once again?

That just goes to show that you have a more original vision than they do.

While they are writing formula pap, you'll be breaking the bonds of literature.

Thank you LT.

I agree with Una- don't think they went out of style. Same as leather jackets. (I don't own either though!)

I'm super excited!!

I finally heard back from the consultant I emailed for my summer practice. He said it wouldn't be a problem and we could arrange something closer to august/ september. He specializes in the same field that I'm currently set on right now. (Obs and Gynae)