Couch 188: Who needs those people, anyway?

If you live in a one-party consent state, the only possible repercussion I can see a therapist would have the power to do would be to refuse to see you again. Even if you lived in a place where it is illegal, I very much doubt they would do anything to get you in trouble. They'd be risking getting in much more trouble by doing so, since nobody would be at risk for harm. Plus, they'd have absolutely no proof. What would they do, call the cops and say you illegally taped a session with an unknown therapist? The cops would laugh in their face.

That said, I would not tell any therapist that I had covertly recorded another therapist. That just seems like a bad idea.

I think showing text messages is a good idea. It could help them understand the relationship and what a big loss this has been for you.

Ugh. I avoid therapy appointments on my birthday like the plague.

More power to you.

Anyone else love "The masked singer" ?

It's on again tonight. It's such a fun show, interesting idea

Argh! Packing is so stressful!!! I hate moving. H promised me I'd never have to move from this house Real estate agent wants everything decluttered. And of course, my H can't/won't do ****, but is really good at bossing me around. And we're trying to find a cleaning crew to do deep cleaning. That's a pain in itself.

i got this book for free on amazon and am going to read it. any thoughts/ideas/suggestions about using it?

Even my husky wasn't impressed with this massive cold day. He's also 15 though so it could be partly why

So cold! I want my mom!

And court, apparently.

I am not a good friend, I am good at upsetting people though.

Ugh, I'd snap at your H and call him an "armchair general".

I love having teens. Here's me picking up my youngest from theater practice, a text to his brother, "Don't forget your brother!"

My evening musing:
What did we do before text messaging? I'll bet lots of brothers were forgotten.

I spent most of my session today trying to explain why I have trouble talking about a certain topic. In the last few minutes it became clear after he asked me a few questions that I hadn't done a very good job. I left feeling defeated and misunderstood and now he's gone for a week. I don't know why I can't just explain clearly and not spend 75% of the session crying. I feel bereft.

The whole Columbo series would have ended before the murder could happen if they had had text / cell phones. Thats my story and im sticking to it!

Eta - i put my big coat on and made myself a hot beverage, im feeling better now!

@NP_Complete

Hey couchies,

I went to the appointment with sexual assault care center. The case manager expressed concern that there will be overlap with my therapy if they offer me counselling.

Part of me wants to just...quit T, as she gave me the boundary talk when I suggested light touch to ground me when I'm dissociated. She's not taking away hugs...probably only because I asked her to promise never to take away anything she gave... She even said I could go find another therapist who'll give me touch to ground me, but not her. That hurt.

She's salaried with a heavy caseload, as some of you might know. S said unsolicited (I never mention therapy to S) that T's team is now down to just 2 other T's. I'm afraid she'll leave once her bond with the clinic finishes end of next month.

I'm so burned out work-wise as despite no formal diagnosis, I've been pushing through what meets criteria for a severe depression. I put in my resignation but we're in talks for me to take some unpaid leave. Family is pressuring me a lot because they don't care about my well-being even though I told them I'm burned out, just that they get my money. Work (HR, boss, CIO) actually gave more of a **** than my family.

Morning couch, in a better frame of mind this morning. Upset and sad and bruised and quiet but not emotional flashback nd let's avoid life territory.

Had a good think through last night. I like to get things settled and clear in my mind.

Slow start to the day but that's ok. If I had to push through tiredness as well that might put me over the edge. It's all a delicate balance this recovery journey.

Going to try and do some easy work or admin stuff too. I've ignored it all for 3 days except my taxes. I did give thanks that I can currently afford to do this with work and life. A bittersweetness that some of the effects of CPTSD have given me space to recover from it.

Thanks to those who send hugs - it does help

our town has just been declared a disaster area with more rain and flooding into next week. i wondrr if T will cancel sessions on Monday?

The land of tears is such a mysterious place. It can be hard to focus being articulate when you're in so much pain. But you're doing your absolute best already and it's okay to cry. Perhaps you could write something on paper and hand it to him when he comes back- that way you'd have all your points out already.

Can you still take up their offer of counselling ? I think you need more support than what T can currently offer you at the moment. I can undertsand the boundary talk but personally I don't really see the difference in touch if she already has offered you hugs already.

I hope you can take sometime off to really recover. Can you leave your family even for a few days and just stay with a friend or another relative- I think you mentioned your aunt last time, would she still be a possibility?

I hope you have a productive day.

I'm ashamed to take up the offer since it wasn't explicitly "when would you like to see [case manager] next?" but "if you feel you'll like a second session..." We didn't even go through the trauma symptom scale they had me fill out. I was told I'm "resilient" so maybe just like with therapy, I'm depriving someone out of a slot they need? Last time I saw T, clinic staff mentioned again how lucky I am that I can have regularish appointments (Now every three to five weeks) because work lets me. I KNOWWWWW... I am grateful every day and all that... It adds to my guilt especially when they tell me of "clients have to wait a couple of months."

As for the boundary talk, maybe she regrets hugs. Whenever things changed because she offered or I asked, I would tell her never to offer something she would later regret. And so she's not taking away hugs but she probably regrets since she's questioned "how are they helping?" twice already.

Of course I know I can ground myself using my own touch. I do that. I rub my hands, do visual grounding, move my body, hurt myself etc. I just wanted help wheni I'm frozen when dissociated. And she stopped giving spontaneous playful touch ages ago.

Her saying No when I ask, I understand, but not the whole boundary talk about how I "want more and more touch." I regret being honest about my feelings of wanting to be held. I NEVER asked her to hold me, only talked about my wanting. Isn't that what therapy is supposed to be about: talking about feelings?

I can stay with a friend, she told me her house is always open. She says I refuse help because I'm busy acting strong. I'm just terrified to. I'm terrified of how my parents will explode, I'm terrified my friend will realise how gross I really am.

My aunt seems to have withdrawn her offer but I'm just...terrified of even having a sleepover with my friend.

I found a few mental health services I didn't fit and now my stupid care manager says I'm refusing treatment. I take my meds, I go to t every week, I've been to groups, I post here. Why the heck does she think I'm refusing treatment? Moron. I love how everything is somehow always my fault. Grrr!

Random morning thought

So about a week and a half ago at the dr, the nurse asked me questions about my partner, assuming I was the kind of person who may have one. I found it amusing as I always assume I'm gross and unloveable.

Then the therapist on Tues, was talking about things with "Spike" as though it was a romantic break up and casually was asking me about my experience with breaks ups in my romanic relationships. Again, mentally amused he assumed.

I was thinking both times... "you have eyes, right?" I mean I don't hate myself I know I have good qualities and all that but I'm NOT the kind of women that men fall for. Even though a few people have suggest "Spike" liked me in that sense, I still can't believe it. There's no way he would. Obviously a huge issue for me but since I'm not planning to work on deep **** in therapy again, I will have to work on this one on my own somehow.

Yikes, QM, I'd feel pretty bad, too, if the therapist said those things to me. We recently had a small rupture because I wanted something, assumed I couldn't have it, and acted out. When we talked about it, she asked me if I felt like I couldn't ask for things. I think I don't ask for things because I'm too terrified of being told no, or worse, of being told no and shamed for expressing a need - which I kind of feel like you were.

I hope you will take a chance and go stay with your friend. She wants to help. I don't have any friends, but I am close to my sister. I know that when she needs help, it gives me satisfaction to be there for her. If she refused to let me help her, I'd feel pretty helpless and sad.

As for your parents, it sounds like avoiding drama has maybe been a priority of yours in your life. I know what it's like to feel like you can't put yourself first because it's just not worth going through the reaction from parents. But at least in this case, you will be removing yourself from them physically. If possible, you could pack your things, put them in the car, and tell them at the last minute so you could make a quick getaway. Or you could even leave and call from your friend's house. It is ok to be a bit rude with people who are in any way abusive and who make you feel trapped and like you can't do what's best for you because they will "explode."

Really frustrated.. started being seen in a behavioral health clinic last March to get meds. I see the PA there for meds. In the clinic you have to go through a formal evaluation with a social worker, meet with a therapist (which I got to avoid since I am in therapy) and then meet a nurse, then see PA for meds. I went through the whole process. Was on meds for a couple of months and then stopped them. I didn’t miss any appointments I merely just didn’t schedule anymore appointments. So, I call today to make an appointment with the PA. Turns out I was discharged in October ( haven’t been seen in 5 months at that point). I got no paper work, no call.. no warning that if I didn’t make an appointment soon I would be discharged. So, now I am months long waiting list to go through the whole damn process again. I just wished I would have got some kind of warning or something.