Couch 188: Who needs those people, anyway?

LonesomeTonight · Feb 05, 2019, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DP_2017

I know you really like him but you seem to be way more depressed and anxious with him, is it worth keeping him? This relationship is becoming too much for you, it seems. Maybe you should look at new T's or try that backup T... even if just for a bit of a break.

Yeah, I'm looking up different T's in the hopes that maybe I could see one the week he's away, just to get perspective. I was doing better with this T for a good stretch there, then this last month has just been rough for some reason. It seems we do great as long as we're not discussing the therapeutic relationship...and even that went fairly well a few times lately. I'm just not sure what's going on right now. I think his pointing out that I seem like I'm not getting what I need didn't help...but it seems that he thinks I want what I got from ex-MC, when I know that, though some of it felt good at the time, in the long run, it wasn't good for me. So I'm just confused as to what I need vs. what part of me wants. Like...I don't know, I want chocolate cake, but that's not healthy for me in the long run. Not that there's anything wrong with chocolate cake, but one shouldn't live off of it.

stopdog · Feb 05, 2019, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Signs I'm an editor: I look up a word to make sure I'm using it exactly correctly before sending a personal email. Sigh.

I thought everyone did that. I would find that as normal behavior no matter what. I certainly want people who send me personal emails doing it and I do it as well.

susannahsays · Feb 05, 2019, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jersey 3

I woke up with an uneasy feeling that I’m not welcomed no matter where I go. It’s an odd feeling. No one has hinted to me (at least not that I am aware) that they don’t want me around. I have however been told that I’m really hard to read ( I never saw that as a bad thing). I think sometimes people don’t know what to make of me because I never get super excited about anything and I’m monotone so my pitch never changes in any situation. I’ve been having trouble keeping up with conversations so maybe because I haven’t had much of a response to what people are telling me it makes it seem like I’m not interested. I don’t know. It’s certainly not on purpose if I’m making people think I’m not interested. I am just not someone who has a lot of charisma. I’m just not one of those people who are able to light up a room when I walk in. I have never been. Even though I envy people who are able able to actually do that, I never saw it as something too horrible that I can’t do that but maybe it is horrible.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say.

I know you're talking about irl, not here, but for what it's worth, after you deleted your last account, I missed having you around and wondered how you were getting on. I didn't log onto PC for a while as I got busy with some things, and I was happy to see you had returned when I logged back in. I'm sorry to hear you don't feel welcome anywhere.

DP_2017 · Feb 05, 2019, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Yeah, I'm looking up different T's in the hopes that maybe I could see one the week he's away, just to get perspective. I was doing better with this T for a good stretch there, then this last month has just been rough for some reason. It seems we do great as long as we're not discussing the therapeutic relationship...and even that went fairly well a few times lately. I'm just not sure what's going on right now. I think his pointing out that I seem like I'm not getting what I need didn't help...but it seems that he thinks I want what I got from ex-MC, when I know that, though some of it felt good at the time, in the long run, it wasn't good for me. So I'm just confused as to what I need vs. what part of me wants. Like...I don't know, I want chocolate cake, but that's not healthy for me in the long run. Not that there's anything wrong with chocolate cake, but one shouldn't live off of it.

I get it, maybe you are fearing big changes or the ending, you see it happen often on here and you know logically it will with you in time... and it sucks but thats why I try to focus on the here and now as much as I can. You are in charge of therapy, so you don't always have to talk about the relationship. Sometimes light sessions are ok. Sometimes breaks in topics are ok. I struggled some with this at times, with talking about it more than I should have but then I realized, it wasn't changing anything really... nothing would. What was gonna be, was gonna be. So I tried to shift the focus on other things and just enjoy my time with him while I had it...

To be fair, IF you choose to stay with him, I see no reason why it would end in the next few years.... he doesn't seem to have any plans to leave or push you out.

susannahsays · Feb 05, 2019, 10:29 AM

I rarely look up words as I am confident of their meaning already. However, I have noticed that over the years, as I have had to write using pen and paper less and less, my confidence in my spelling has declined. This appears to be a byproduct both of autocorrect and of listening to audiobooks instead of reading actual books. My handwriting has been similarly affected, as the muscles used for that task are now weak.

susannahsays · Feb 05, 2019, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Hey, so since I dashed out yesterday without setting up further appointments, will they automatically shred my paperwork or should I call them today and say outright I'm not seeing him further and want them to shred it?

They legally have to keep it for a certain length of time.

DP_2017 · Feb 05, 2019, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susannahsays

They legally have to keep it for a certain length of time.

Ya she basically said that when I called but said they would close the file. Still makes me nervous with all that info just accessible there

Lemoncake · Feb 05, 2019, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

The couch title keeps getting the quik-e mart song from the Simpsons stuck in my head.

Is it this bit : "When I first arrived you were all such jerks now I've come to looooooooooooooooove your quirks?!? "

DP_2017 · Feb 05, 2019, 10:56 AM

I hate valentine's day. nothing makes me feel like a bigger loser every year than all that couple and lovey stuff shoved in my face constantly

I am glad I'm having surgery on V-day because I'd be spiraling thinking of T and who he has in his life now...

susannahsays · Feb 05, 2019, 10:57 AM

I don't think I've ever heard of anyone irl liking Valentine's day.

Lemoncake · Feb 05, 2019, 10:58 AM

I like the half priced chocolate the day after though. I'm not currently seeing anyone, but I bought my sister and brother presents last year. xD

LonesomeTonight · Feb 05, 2019, 11:03 AM

OK, I've emailed like 8 possible T's to see if they'd be willing to do something short-term. We'll see...

LonesomeTonight · Feb 05, 2019, 11:05 AM

Also, they need, like, therapist Tinder or something.

DP_2017 · Feb 05, 2019, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Also, they need, like, therapist Tinder or something.

Love this idea!

Feb 05, 2019, 11:23 AM

So I had emailed my astronomy prof over the weekend when I was struggling so much with a particular section asking for guidance on what I was doing wrong with the simulator. I got a very encouraging and helpful response and I was able to figure it out and retook the lab exit quiz (we get 2 chances) and passed it the second time. She helped a lot and I'm going to do my best to stick with it!! There's an optional field trip coming up next month to a nearby observatory, I'm planning on going.

SlumberKitty · Feb 05, 2019, 11:31 AM

Good job Artie, asking your prof for help! That's a good thing! Good taking care of yourself! Way to go! HUGS Kit

ElectricManatee · Feb 05, 2019, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Also, they need, like, therapist Tinder or something.

Wait, but then can they reject the clients too? (I am too old/married to know for sure how Tinder works.)

What would my profile look like?

Chronically depressed but with private insurance. Likely to get attached but unlikely to no-show. I like reading books about therapy and discussing psychology but will also get angry with you for little to no reason. I occasionally find myself asking astonishly personal questions without warning, but I won't be too upset if you side-step them. Willing to travel up to 15 miles, hoping for off-street parking. Therapists with an excessive number of throw pillows need not reply.

SlumberKitty · Feb 05, 2019, 11:34 AM

LT, in my experience with long term therapy, there's lots of ups and downs. It's always hard to know when to stay the course and when to jump the track. I just wanted to know you are heard. HUGS Kit

SlumberKitty · Feb 05, 2019, 11:36 AM

Good Morning Couchies. I had a nice talk with my Mom's Foster Mom before work today regarding medications and in particular my anti-psychotic meds. We played a game the other night, and worked on a puzzle last night. She hasn't been too critical of me this trip so I am grateful for that. I'm not sure if she and my Mom are getting along great, but she is leaving on Saturday so I suppose a few more days can't hurt. It's going better than I expected. HUGS if anyone wants one, Kit

Feb 05, 2019, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

Wait, but then can they reject the clients too? (I am too old/married to know for sure how Tinder works.)

What would my profile look like?

Chronically depressed but with private insurance. Likely to get attached but unlikely to no-show. I like reading books about therapy and discussing psychology but will also get angry with you for little to no reason. I occasionally find myself asking astonishly personal questions without warning, but I won't be too upset if you side-step them. Willing to travel up to 15 miles, hoping for off-street parking. Therapists with an excessive number of throw pillows need not reply.

This could be a whole thread haha, post your therapytinder profile

Couch 188: Who needs those people, anyway?

LonesomeTonight · Feb 05, 2019, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

LT, in my experience with long term therapy, there's lots of ups and downs. It's always hard to know when to stay the course and when to jump the track. I just wanted to know you are heard. HUGS Kit

Thanks, Kit. Yeah, that's a big challenge for me, to know when to keep trying or to walk away. Which is why I'm hoping that consulting with someone could help, whether I want to keep seeing that T (the one I consult with) or not. Or if I want to see another T temporarily, then maybe go back to current T. (and I almost totally used his name there...)

LonesomeTonight · Feb 05, 2019, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

Wait, but then can they reject the clients too? (I am too old/married to know for sure how Tinder works.)

What would my profile look like?

Chronically depressed but with private insurance. Likely to get attached but unlikely to no-show. I like reading books about therapy and discussing psychology but will also get angry with you for little to no reason. I occasionally find myself asking astonishly personal questions without warning, but I won't be too upset if you side-step them. Willing to travel up to 15 miles, hoping for off-street parking. Therapists with an excessive number of throw pillows need not reply.

That's probably quite similar to what my profile would be, with the addition of attachment and OCD. And that I might be upset if you sidestep questions. Perhaps something like eHarmony for T's would be preferable to tinder.

Lemoncake · Feb 05, 2019, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Also, they need, like, therapist Tinder or something.

I love EM's phrase !

From my wild days (post second year). They would have to like you back in order to talk to you. I had the description: "Magic, Madness, heaven, sin" From my girl crush Taylor swift and a quote from Lana del ray lyric that read "the Queen of New York city".

My instagram profile reads:
Wanderess. Hermit. Hurricane. Analysand.

#Almostadoctor#Iheartsurgery#Thenorthremembers

88Butterfly88 · Feb 05, 2019, 12:03 PM

Thanks for the hugs everyone. I'm not going to residential but am looking into other services in the community.

DP_2017 · Feb 05, 2019, 12:08 PM

I laughed so hard at the profile example

I agree with art. It should be a thread

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Couch 188: Who needs those people, anyway?

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