I called in sick to my internship today. The depression was too much. I am a total loser. I probably should have pushed myself like I usually do, but today seemed beyond the point of pushing. I should have done it though. I just couldn't leave the bed. I went to bed at 9 last night and stayed in bed til 10 this morning. I would have stayed longer but my back was hurting so much I had to get up and move around. Lots of tears. So afraid my husband is going to be mad at me when I talk to him later. He said, "I really want you to have a great day today." And I didn't even go!!! (Crying now). I want to call T. He told me a million times to call him. But why? He can't take it away.

I'm sorry, maybe this should have gone in the depression forum, but I feel most comfortable in here when posting about a problem. I am so scared.

[MissCharlotte]

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He can't take it away.

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Well, maybe he can't take it away but maybe he can hold it for you for a while, and relieve your burden. Go ahead and give him a try.

Much Peace & love

xoxoxoxox

[Perna]

Relax and figure out how to enjoy your day like your husband wished for you. Would a hot shower help your back? I have a showerhead that can be made more intense and that helped my neck/shoulder in the middle of the night this summer when I'd be hurting and out of sorts.

Do you have a good book or interesting project to work on? A paper you wish you had more time for? Get the scared to turn it into "enjoyment", we're here with you.

Construct a magic wand you can give your T? I'd write things on paper (powers) and then make some sort of flour paste http://www.halloweenfear.com/Papiermache1.html and work them into a wand shape (with some sort of "mace" :-) tip? Just in case you needed it for hitting him over the head because he wasn't getting it :-)

[pegasus]

No you are not a total loser!

sending a hug >>>>>>>>>>> (((((( pinksoil ))))))

Ring T and talk it through.

[sunrise]

Sometimes we just have to stay in bed, pink. It's OK. You are not a loser.

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I want to call T. He told me a million times to call him. But why? He can't take it away.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">From what you have written in your posts, when you have called T in the past, you either end up feeling better or you get angry at him. It seems like either of those things would be better than feeling really depressed and unable to get out of bed or do anything. I hope you can call. It will help!

I left him a message.

Pink,
I can totally relate to you right now about problems with depression and the husband. It's okay that you took the day off-pushing gets old after awhile! You're mustering up all the strength you can to make it through day by day and are doing it! You shouldn't feel guilty about staying home. My husband is wonderful, but gets so angry at me when I am depressed and unable to do anything but drag myself out of bed to go to work. We went through that this weekend and this morning before work. I wish he could take a turn just so he would know how it feels. Everyone can see him busting his @#$# to help me, but no one can see me pushing myself day after day to work. It's so frustrating! I hope you start feeling better soon, along with myself!
Take care!

i have the same issue a lot "what could he do anyway?"

can hi fix it all? no

can he make the depression go away? no

all he can do is "say stuff." That's how i get. But you know? i have discovered that "what he can do" is make me feel better. And that alone is a good reason to call. How effective or productive that call is otherwise is often a product of how well i can explain what i need or how i feel.

if you hurt, then tell him that. He knows you so well, and he cares so very much. You know that he could recite hickory dickory dock and you would feel some measure of comfort. It's ok, natural and a good thing to want what makes you feel secure and safe when you are hurting.

((((((my fav amoeba)))))))

[starfishblue]

Just wanted you to know I understand and you are not alone.
Peace,
Starfish

[lauren_helene]

You are not a loser. Sometimes we crash and it is okay to do that. You have so much going on. Try and give yourself a break...

[krazibean]

he can't take it away, no. but he can certainly relieve some of the depression you have by just using that soft, precious, familiar, reassuring voice. and knowing its OK to call him and he WANTS you to call him if you need to, that also has to make you feel good.