Couch 191: The Lazy Caterer Couch

Apparently I won’t be sleeping tonight.

I can’t get No. 1 out of my mind. Went to her website, thought about filling out the appointment request form...eh. There’s nothing more to be said there, it’s just nostalgia. She was a better therapist than Info, especially when I was sick.

I know I shouldn't worry yet, but I am about my nieces. I think the baby will be easier than the one year old. Baby will eat, poop, and sleep for the most part. Yes, I know they need touch and interaction too, and I'll need to know her schedule, but she doesn't need as much as the one year old. The one year old is mobile and can get into things. She also has the "terrible two's" attitude and loves pushing boundaries. I don't know what to feed her, what calms her down, what puts her to sleep, does she still take bottles, how much do I discipline her (I think I may be more strict than my sister). My sister had 9 months to plan for a baby, and has spent 1.5 years bonding with my niece and has experience on exactly what to do. I'll be, in a sense, dropped into parenthood...with two!

My H was reading that judges normally place the kids with family. I think I'm the only one my sister listed. So there's a high probability I'll get the girls. My sister said the paternal grandma can't have custody because she's not cooperating, the paternal uncle has a felony, the paternal aunt has lied to the police and courts, I don't think my older sister could take them (idk?), and my mom can't take them because she lives in a 55+ community. If it's not me or my older sister, then the girls won't be able to stay in the family.

And boy, the boyfriend is going to be upset. One, my sister said she got the CPS report and read everything that everyone said. I told CPS the truth. Then on top of that, he does not want me to be a guardian to the girls. He thinks I'm trying to steal his kids. He doesn't understand that it's not about him, it's about the girls. And he doesn't realize that I only want the girls for them to be safe; not to take them away from their parents.

All the parents on here: I might be asking for the some advice!

On the plus side I had a dream about No. 2 swimming with garbage in New York harbor.

I’m gonna call that a closure dream.

I didn't really intend to talk about this in session today but I did. Talked (through tears) more about my alcohol use and how I am able to reduce it for a few days but it doesn't stick. I said how T was probably tired of talking about it, but he said he was glad I brought it up. I think he managed to convince me to give AA a shot. And it really helped to hear him say that addiction is a "monumental" problem and I can't be expected to handle it alone. Because H tends to be like, "If you want to stop/cut back, just do it!" Like it's all about willpower. T said it's much more than that. Which makes me feel less like I'm just weak. Considering trying a meeting tomorrow--there's one less than a mile from my house. He said I may need to try a few to find the best fit.

@ScarletPimpernel I don't think you discipline one year olds. They aren't developmentally advanced enough, I don't think. Could actually be quite damaging. Not sure at what age discipline would come into play, but I would guess no younger than 3, and probably more like 4. At that point, it might be ok to do time outs.

Whelp, we won't get the girls. My dad has had CPS involvement in his past. So they're going to their paternal aunt... I disagree. The woman was present during at least one of the DV events and didn't do anything to stop it. Plus, she's hinding information to protect her brother. What's to stop her from allowing him into her house?

I don't know what to do. Keep the kids in foster or let them be with their aunt?