Couch 191: The Lazy Caterer Couch

I got into an argument this morning with my boss and told her to step the f**k back. We resolved the issue and it’s okay now but it doesn’t feel okay but I think sometimes you just have to put someone in their place. Should you choose to do that with your boss? Probably not. We both apologized but I can’t undo it. Ya know?

I have spent most of the day so far working on a lecture on psychoanalytic approaches to myth, Jung especially. This means I have been writing Self with a capital S all morning, which makes me feel like a poseur.

I wish I could be a fly on the wall to hear you deliver that lecture! Jung fascinates me. Obs.

You may need to take a shower

You mean, a Shower?

T helped me feel much better about D’s IEP meeting tomorrow. He’s really good with that stuff. He knows how to talk me down and reframe it. And he’s clearly knowledgeable about IEPs (whether from professional or personal experience or both, doesn’t really matter—he just gets it)

I hope it goes well LT! I had one in school due to my hearing. Kit

Good one.

My throat feels scratchy. I hope I'm not getting sick. Kit

I hope not too! I hate that feeling.

Thanks. It is working, but now Im scared to death im gonna get c diff from the med. I have perfect poops, i brag about them all the time, i dont want anything messing with my poop. I got some yogurt, hopefully that will help. But the warning label said the c diff could come months later. So im telling myself, whats the worse that can happen? I'll lose weight, right? Ive been a constipation girl all my life, you cant just switch, can you??

Yay my post op appointment went well. I'm healing good. Still have a few limits for 3 weeks but she says I never need another pap smear etc. So that's awesome.

Good news, DP!

If there's such a thing as therapy withdrawal I'm in it meh

Maybe try a separate probiotic in addition to the yogurt? If it helps, I took Cipro years ago (after the reaction to the sulfa one) and had no issues.

Thanks, Kit! It mainly stresses me out because they have to focus on all of D’s deficits. When lately I’ve gotten better at focusing on her success. Plus, small hot room with bright lights that give me a migraine and like 8 people staring at me. Also a couple years ago, I had a total panic attack and started crying at one, then had to leave the room, because it was the morning after I’d learned that Ex-MC’s wife had died, I’d gotten little sleep, and was hungover. And I was embarrassed. So it’s almost like some sort of PTSD thing. And H doesn’t understand why it stresses me out so much. But T does. Wish he could come with me...(T, that is—H will be there).

LT

I've never dealt with them directly but my mom has done them for my brother for years and still finds them stressful. I think it's a normal thing to find stressful. Just take a deep breath and try to get through it the best you can. It will go by fast, then you can relax a bit.

As a teacher (and a parent of a special education student), I can assure you we aren't sitting there "staring at you." I understand the fear though. Seriously though, everyone in that room is really much more focused on being sure their paperwork is filled out correctly and that they are following the rules than anything else. The IEP meeting really is about your daughter, not you, and the format for those meetings is very scripted. We have a formal protocol and sequence of items to discuss. It's pretty much the same for every student we have an IEP meeting for.

The only ones I've seen anything different for where those occasional IEP meetings where the parents bring in a special education advocate or (God forbid!) a lawyer. I've literally been in IEP meetings that went into multiple days - like 16 hours worth of meeting; it was ridiculous. Yes, I'd say we weren't really terribly thrilled with those parents, but I'm assuming you aren't that parent. LOL. (I've only experienced about 3 of those nightmare IEP meetings in my 34 years of teaching.)

Remember, the discussion of deficits is for setting goals for the coming year. Take note that they will also discuss the past year's progress in reaching last year's goals. It's easy to get a bit overwhelmed by all the information, but they do discuss progress before they establish the new goals. If this isn't a reevaluation year, they won't spend as much time going over every aspect of testing. I hated reeval. IEP meetings; those can be a bit overwhelming. Fortunately, they don't happen every year.

By the time my son was in high school, I mostly stopped attending his IEP meetings as things were for the most part on a status quo with minor changes the diagnostician could go over with me ahead of time. As a teacher, getting away from my own classroom to attend an IEP meeting across town wasn't always feasible, so if things weren't going to be changing much, I got the short version via phone and signed papers later.

They can do them by phone by the way if you can't physically be there. They can put you on speaker phone. I've seen that done a few times (and I think maybe even one of my son's was done that way because of scheduling).

Hope it goes well.

I'm waiting to hear if I'm being accepted into a practice that specializes in adults with autism. I'm hoping that I get accepted because I really need the help. I also haven't found a T that that really understands me. I'm without a T right now and really could use one.

Thanks, Artley—it helps to get that perspective. Part of what you said echoes what T said today, that we’re all there to help D. And they do usually say some nice things about D—they seem to love her there. And it’s not an evaluation year—I think that was part of the nightmare one where I had the panic attack. Because it was also them going through the results and saying she came up with cognitive deficiencies, though they don’t think testing reflects her true ability because of the standardized nature. Like they couldn’t reword directions. And she’s clearly smart (knew stuff like shapes and numbers really early) but has communication and focus issues.

Thanks! The warning literature will scare the crap right out of you!!

OK, need to share this one funny thing from T today. He clearly was having back issues and had this lumbar support thing and pillow that he was playing around with for part of it and shifting to different positions. (I did ask about the back issues, and he confirmed.) Then at one point it seemed he'd shifted so he was sitting on the pillow. For reference, he's pretty short, like 5'6". Me: "Are you sitting on the pillow? You seem taller. Or did you suddenly grow 2 inches?" T: "I wish! It doesn't work like that. I'm actually wearing lifts--butt lifts." Which made me laugh. And was a nice moment of levity in a fairly intense session about D.

Is this the kind of interaction which makes you feel connected to your therapist?

I think so, yes. I know it might not seem completely appropriate on the surface, but I've been working with him for a year and a half, and he knows me well, that I'd find that funny, not offensive. I think I need a therapist who can joke around a bit in addition to being serious. I do my share of joking around, too--it's a coping mechanism. And I need that connection to feel OK about addressing the more difficult topics. Which we certainly do plenty of.

I just realized that h was supposed to go to jury duty 2 days ago and he completely forgot. He's not even home now he's out on a job so I'm sitting here all paranoid about it. So I called them and rescheduled for him for later this month. I hope he doesn't get into too much trouble. I was too nervous to ask the gal I talked to what is going to happen to him.

I know, I know. I'm not his mother. But I would worry myself sick about it if I didn't call.