Couch 191: The Lazy Caterer Couch

If I feel like there's too much stuff, I make a list and then rank the items based on what stands out the most (like what is the most upsetting) or what is the most time-sensitive. Sometimes I start the session by sharing the whole list so my T has a sense of how to parcel out the time (e.g., she won't get bogged down with one thing if she knows there are three more on the list).

I also make a list. If it's too much to all be addressed and I feel it's all important, I sometimes give a small write-up to my T so he can read it on his own.

T usually has a plan for our sessions but if I need something prioritized I email or text.

I thought of you today as I made a red lentil soup--but mine is Moroccan style/spiced.

Sounds delish fkm!

Ok Couchies, I have a PB&elderberry honey sandich and a black cherry cream soda and I am plopping down for the evening... who’s got a movie suggestion?! Someone got the popcorn?

I'm going to be trying to get pictures of tonight's supermoon, hope it's not cloudy!

They are related--I think they may both be classified under anxiety disorders in DSM. But I specifically have been diagnosed (in the past) with OCD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Panic Disorder. And the various symptoms fit. The latter one less so in the past couple years. Definitely the first two. Though I suppose all the worry could possibly be classified as obsessions? But I have a couple compulsions (like hand-washing and some counting stuff--had a few other ones as a kid, too), so the OCD is definitely an element.

I do something similar at times. Like I might start out saying I have a few things to talk about and I don't want to spend the entire time on one thing. Or if I don't do that and I feel like we're spending a lot of time on something when I have other things on my mind, I'll say "I had something else I wanted to discuss, too." It generally works. I've also emailed him before a couple times and said "I need to talk about x, make sure I talk about it." He said he gets things like that from clients a few times a month, so apparently it's a common way of dealing with things.

Couch opinion wanted... Murky t boundary situation.

My anxiety has been bad, but I have always had anxiety about traveling. I have to travel with my daughter this weekend for a dance competition about 3hrs away. Tons of anxiety all around about traveling, but just also have tons of anxiety in general constantly worry about terrible things happening. Just not good all around. T and I were talking about it today and how I was worried about having panic Attack all weekend while we are at this event.

T then mentioned well he would be there for most of the weekend (I knew he would be). but while we are at these functions you are not my t you just the dad of another kid who dances with my kid. And he said yes, but if you felt like you needed to talk because my anxiety was out of control I could. And laid it all on me.. if I felt comfortable I could reach out.

Likely I won’t need that, but I also feel like I want a plan for if my anxiety is that bad this weekend. I want to know how I feel about it now.. and not in the midst of anxiety. On one hand I love how open he was to me asking for help from him. BUT- I think also, we have done so great with our dual relationship and clearly setting up boundaries, that I don’t want to ruin that. Though, I don’t think he would have offered if he thought I would some how take advantage from
Now on. Ultimately I know it is my decision, but I also want to know if anybody else thinks this maybe be getting close to really blurring the boundaries?

I don’t think so, mainly because you have a history of setting clear boundaries with each other. My experience of blurring boundaries personally and what I read on here is it’s most likely to happen when boundaries aren’t discussed or carefully considered at all, and that boundaries are clearest and least likely to blur when they’re discussed and thought about.

I wouldn’t talk to my T about my anxiety at something like that. If I was having a hard time I might go stand near him or ask for a hug but I wouldn’t talk to him much. I had a T that opened that door with me once and then we had a misunderstanding and she blew up on me. We were never able to fix the T/client relationship... although, in all fairness she made a better friend anyway.

Crud... uh, fellow couchies? Anyone sitting on a set of keys? Could you check between the cushions next to you? Came home from the grocery store and plopped down to check in and can’t find my keys. Checked all the usual places... coat pocket, pants, fridge, pantry, bags, car, bathroom, freezer... not necessarily in that order. ugh... can’t believe I lost them again...

There was just a downpour of hail where I'm at. Was only sprinkling before. The rain today prevented us from doing the real estate caravan. We need our house to sell!

And I just realized that if my sister doesn't get her act together, I may never see my nieces again We already don't qualify for foster. We won't qualify for adoption because my H doesn't have a job. And he's trying real hard to find one. This situation is just so depressing for me. Wish they had "auntie" rights. Do my parents lose their grandparents rights if the girls get adopted?

Found them! they were under the oranges. I also found three cats (that weren’t lost), an extra set of house keys, two flashlights and an unopened candy bar.

I am so sorry, it just seems to be non stop for you right now. Typically in the US family or people the kids have a relationship with are given the first chance to foster/adopt/kinship care. If there are not any of those available they typically go into regular foster care and if parental rights are terminated they are placed for adoption. The good news is that all of this takes some time so maybe by the time they would be available for an adoptive home you may be in your new place. Most of the time adoptions out of the foster care system are “closed” meaning that no one in the biological family has contact with the kids. There are exceptions to every rule though. I adopted my son from the foster care system and then found his birth family and invited them to continue to be a part of his life.

Omers, if it helps...

I searched EVERYWHERE for my work keys yesterday. I couldn't find them anywhere....coat pockets, jeans pockets, counters, stuff drawer, work bag, backup work bag, NOWHERE.

This morning, I looked on the key hook. You know, where the keys go?
Someone helpful had hung them up for me.

Glad you found your keys.

Just woke up, read 'they were under the organs'. Felt like 'maybe this place is getting too weird for me'. Glad you don't have organs standing around (although I can't tell for sure of course :P)!

Session in about an hour. Still no closer to working out what I actually need to say.

:roflmao:
They could have fallen under the pipe organ too, less wired but still weird. Either way I will go put another pot of tea/coffee on for us couchies as it sounds like we may need it!

I've done something very similar...

My D is sick and has a low-grade fever (sore throat), and I think we should keep her home from school. and told her that at 2 am when she was awake and miserable. H thinks we should still send her and he'll just pick her up if they send her home. I really wish he would trust my judgment. She very rarely has a fever. It's fairly low-grade, but...also if they send her home today with a fever she won't be allowed to go in tomorrow, I think. I feel like we should keep her home today to rest. I was the one who was up with her a bunch of times at night when she was calling out...


Hm...you know, this is suddenly reminding me of my mom, who generally made me go to school and do other stuff if I was sick and didn't tend to take "not feeling well" as an excuse. Sigh.

OK, he agreed to keep her home, as she's laying on the couch under a blanket looking rather pathetic and had a bit of a temperature at most recent reading. I don't see the point in sending her if they're just going to send her home in an hour. I mean, it's a bit inconvenient for H, who is working from home and has a (phone) meeting when I have T, but he said he'd make it work.

Has anybody else ever played a game with their T/counsellor/MH provider in session?

Today, I ended up spending a lot of the session talking about a Jenga metaphor with R, and in the end she asked whether I would like to play. I'm really not quite sure how to feel about it. I said 'Stranger things have happened', referring to previous counsellor S helping me to lay a 3 page spreadsheet out on the floor of his office, and then telling me that he would soon be retiring.

Not having my normal Thursday session this week. I really needed it. Life's stressors are really getting to me right now. I wonder what he's doing that's so important.