Couch 196: Cinnamon Swirls

I think small manageable bits are better than tackling it all in one go.

Hi Couchies. It's Friday which means it's donut Friday at work! It also means I see my T tomorrow. I hope I can hang on and not SH until I see her tomorrow. Maybe she can give me some techniques or something that I don't already know to help me not relapse. I fear it's coming though. HUGS Kit

My diabetic cat keeps seeming to be hungry on this expensive food the vet suggested. I gave her a little more than what was suggested today and she still seemed hungry. I wish my pets could talk so I would know what is going on with them. At least I wish they could talk to me. HUGS Kit

I empathize with your cat, kitty! I dreamt about three kinds of cold cuts last night. I gotta stop watching youtube Scrumpdilyicious.

The limitations can be frustrating, can't they. I wish I had something wise to say other than I feel you. Maybe it would help if you could acknowledge together that the limitations exist and that they cause feelings. My therapist has very gently invited me to talk about my feelings regarding the limitations, but I haven't felt up to going down that path yet.

I think it's up to him to remember when your session is even if it's on a different day than normal. Doesn't he use a calendar like the rest of the world?

I am so annoyed. I sit a lot of dogs through Rover. I just had a dog dropped off, and one of the owners was really aggressively grilling me about stuff. Her whole demeanor came off as super rude. It wasn't the questions I minded so much as the way she asked them. Her tone was very accusatory. She seemed pissed that I am sitting other dogs. I disclosed this to the other owner, who had come for a meet and greet and was the one who did the booking. And she came across as rather controlling. I wanted to tell her that she should take her dog somewhere else if she had so little trust in me. I do not appreciate being approached as if I am completely irresponsible. I understand concern about leaving one's dog, but that is not an excuse to express that concern in an aggressive and hostile way. Felt like telling her to **** off.

morning couchies. well my stupid shingles apparently decided to have a last hurrah last night before they go completely away, the biggest spot of them on my stomach was hurting so bad - like it did in the beginning 3 weeks ago (it had been more of a dull ache since I had surgery, as the surgery pain was worse) - I got up and took a gabapentin then was just laying in my chair crying waiting for it to kick in. Finally it did and I went to sleep. I slept really well too amazingly, didn't wake up until almost 6am. That was good.

Shingles sucks. I would not wish this on anyone. I'm going to get the vaccine as soon as my dr lets me (I have to wait until the rash is completely gone and it's not yet).

Omg I am early but so far everything the same... feels like going home!

I sent L a happy birthday email this morning, and a little follow up about something she'd said in Feb that has been so helpful since then, the thing about taking our relationship into my other relationships. She sent a nice response. I didn't tell her anything about my surgery and stuff. Didn't want to be seen as trying to get therapy via email haha. I was testing the waters a little I guess to see how a response would feel - if it would make me want to go back to therapy or not. It doesn't. I think I'm ready to let her go now (in real life - I will likely be talking to her in my head forever. The 'internalized' her.)

eta: something else she'd said awhile back is ringing true for me now too - she'd said, when we were talking about 'how do i know when it's time to stop', she'd said something like "People usually keep coming until they don't need to anymore". I get that now. As in, I don't need her in the way that I used to, because my other relationships are now starting to fill that need for closeness and connection as I allow myself to be seen. Which makes me a happy girl.

now I just have to finish healing from my surgery and the stupid shingles and I'll be all set!

My pool opens monday!

YAY!! Ours is open year-round, and they start heating it in March I think it is. I am counting down the days until I can swim again, 13 more. I can't wait!

We qualified for yet another apartment...lol. This one is a good location, ample parking, allows smoking, and has a nice floor plan. Only problem: I'll be just a few blocks away from where T lives! I don't want to run into her or her family while out shopping. That will scare the hell out of me! I wish I could talk to her about it. I don't want her to think I'm stalking her. It's just that it's one of the better apartments we've seen that fits all of our needs.

I went grocery shopping for a few things h forgot when he went yesterday. It was so nice to get out of the house again! I bought some flowers for the kitchen, they had some really nice ones there so I'm going to get another bouquet on Monday after my follow up appt with the surgeon to put in the spare room, cuz my Mom gets here Tuesday (for son's graduation).

oh also i bought a cheesecake because I can right now - my body wants all the calories I can stand to eat, so I'm gonna eat cheesecake! haha! I need to be careful though as I'm healing, my calorie needs are probably lessening.... but for now I'm going to enjoy it!! Might as well get some enjoyment out of the discomfort of this health double whammy. I did learn that with shingles I should avoid chocolate, so I will leave the chocolate pieces for h. it's a combo cheesecake thing.

I feel like my sparkles are coming back. I feared there for a bit that I was losing them.

I have lived within a couple miles of two of my T’s and in the same smallish town as one other. Encounters were surprisingly rare. But I did talk to each of them to set up what we would both do should we run into eachother. After that it was no big deal.

Yay! Pdoc is still the same! Office is still totally PURPLE, She is still TOTALLY awesome, she even thought to tell me she still had a piece of jewelry I gave her like 6 years ago (I got in trouble for the gift but obviously she kept it!!!).
My apologies to any pocket riders that got jiggled about as I bounced up and down with excitement or any pocket riders squished in the hugs.
I love her!
Only bad thing is her fees went up even higher than what the web page stated and the receptionist forgot to tell me... but it will work out... provided I can drive past the AWESOME quilt shop I HAVE to pass on my way to her office without stopping. H just HAD to tell me it was there or I never would have known!
Today was expensive... but happy.

I run into my old therapist a couple times a year or so at stores and restaurants. It really isn't that big a deal. We basically say "hi" and move on because we're both focused on whatever we're doing. Since I'm not in therapy with him any longer, time permitting, we might chat for a minute or two, but that's about it.

Good to hear, omers!

I live like 5 miles maybe from L. In the 3+ years that she's been back in town, I've run into her once - and that was at my gp office. (She sees the same one as we discovered). It wasn't an issue as I recall.

You Had One Job on Twitter: "The ultimate dad joke.… "

This will be me some day. The Oracle has spoken. @@ is this for real? Why havent i heard of him??

Youre surviving your shingles miraculously well. Who knew the trick was to get an organ removed in the meantime??! You nut! And fall! And take a final! And have an h get siiiiiick! And come out of it all with a gorgeous Wonder Woman cape?

Go home. Or go early to your friends.

Be with people who don’t suck the life out of you.

I know, I still can't believe they both happened at the same time. Maybe I shoulda bought a lottery ticket...

and yes, my Wonder Woman cape was billowing out behind me as I went through the grocery store earlier.

eta: ps i'm not taking the (optional) final. Prof just finished updating my grades and with the 3 extra credit papers I wrote, my grade is 96.09%. I think that's everything so it should be my final grade but I'm not positive. I haven't gone through all of it yet.