Couch 201: The Transformative Grammar Couch

Couch word of the day: summer hibernation is aestivation.

I keep the air at 79 with ceiling fans and an oscillating tower fan.

I lapsed yesterday and SHed. Sigh. I hope it doesn’t get infected.

Aestivation?

Isnt that the word for when cats go in heat?

I went to a friends house last night and watched Finding Your Feet on Netflix. It was good, kind of sad in places. I cried a little but overall it was a good movie. Not my type. Usually I like more action but it was enough of a good story that I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.

I wonder if a tower fan would help. I don’t have the wiring to put a ceiling fan in my living room. There is one in the kitchen and dining room.

Maybe I’ll go to Walmart and get a cheap tower fan today then turn the AC to see if it stops running so much.

Also yes...I’m not moving as much as I should be moving because of the heat (I don’t have a treadmill at home or anything) So..these horrible temps are also taking a toll on my waist line. I’m trying to really watch what I eat since exercise isn’t happening.

I posted aestivation, and then I thought, una’s going to make a joke...

It’s estrous, I think. Completely different etymology.

Central air basically will not cool a house much more than 20 degrees less than the outside temperature, no matter what you set it on, particularly if it is a smaller or older system. So if it's 100 outside and your A/C is keeping your how less than 80, it's doing about all it can do. You might as well turn up the thermostat to about 75 or so; it won't make any difference. Turn it down at night so that the house is at its coolest in the morning. This is normal living for us in Texas.

Our A/C compressor pooped out on us a few days ago; we have an old system we need to replace and this is our almost annual compressor replacement. LOL!

Get some fans. Take a couple of cool showers during the day. Do any housework in the early morning and just sit and relax in the afternoon. A cool ice pack (a bag of peas works well) on the neck does wonders if you're miserable.

Time to take this sand dance show on the road!


Eta - i hope the matterhorn or whatever she was appreciates how much she meant to us!

The air conditioner is only 4 years old. We got it put in brand new when we bought the house. I’m not uncomfortable as long as I’m inside. I’m more concerned the air conditioner is over working and something will blow out. I’m going to go buy a fan. I didn’t want to spend money but buying a fan is cheaper than getting the air fixed if something blows.

Spamming PC today

Realizing that as much as I adore T that he was right, I still don’t trust him enough to do the work. Trying to be patient with myself but not doing a good job of it. He has been so kind, consistent, gentle, attentive, responsive... he has done everything right and I still can’t bring the younger aspects of myself to him. I feel like crap.

Holy heck on a stick it's hot today. I feel a little bad sitting inside with the AC on and the shades drawn all day when it's sunny outside but dang.

Trust will come when it's ready. The not-trusting is a defense mechanism that exists in you for a reason. It may take a long time to break down those walls. If he's pressuring you in any way to trust him or making you feel bad for not trusting him, he needs to stop that.

Thanks NP,
No, T is not pressuring me at all. If anything he would be upset that I am pressuring myself. He knows “It takes as long as it takes” and would never think of pressuring me or making me feel bad for not trusting him. I tend to spend a lot of time in my head. I was a philosophy major in college and was exempt from the advanced analytic logic class requirement as my advisor deemed it “unethical to all of humanity” to potentially arm me with more logic. So I am fighting inside. The protective parts are protecting despite overwhelming evidence that he is safe. I keep coming up with every single tiny thing he has done to be safe and trustworthy and get frustrated when an overwhelming amount of evidence is negated by “because” or “NO”. The protective parts are projecting my mother onto me and believing that I would . And that’s what I keep “hearing” in my head, you are no better than mom...

Exactly. It makes me feel like im a little old crazy lady going, "eh eh eh eh eh" behind closed doors. But then i read the news stories and theyre like, stay cool, etc etc.

I had my stroke thingie in 2012. Thats when we set the last heat records. So i am taking this seriously, to not get overheated. Plus i read that the meds im taking and being diabetic (type 2) make it harder for me to cool down, which means yes i really DO feel like carp. I love validation!

The stitches would minimize scaring and help with healing and can still be done slightly delayed. If you don't want to go in- you can also buy butterfly strips from any pharmacy. Do you have any antiseptic stuff?

How Should I Clean a Wound?

Thanks @Lemoncake I’m using neosporin and gauze and athletic tape. It’s going to scar badly but I really think it’s too late for stitches. I feel so bad about it, it just makes me want to SH more. I’m in a bad cycle.

I really need to get up off my butt. Maybe I’ll do an exercise video on YouTube from the TV. I just hate doing them when H is home because he laughs at me. The lack of activity is making me restless. I could also go mall walk but the malls are closing soon. They close at 6 on Sundays.

Well, I just officially applied for the full time position at work... my boss is acting funny and I’m worried about him... if he leaves I don’t think I want the job... oh well, we shall see.

Meanwhile my son decided to start drinking random stuff from the cabinets... I am SO tired of having to figure out what’s next.

I believe it is up to the T to earn your trust. A T who can't do that is not much of a T. And you can tell them I said so.

I sent T an email letting him know what I was struggling with but put in the subject line to wait until he was in the office to read it. Well, he just replied to it. He didn’t admit to reading or not reading it but he responded that he will see me tomorrow with the clapping hands and a big smile emoji. I hope he didn’t read it at home... anything that I would put in a trigger warning on here I ask that he be in the office to read, not at home. I am sure he has caught the pattern and knows what he is getting into but I feel bad.
I would be better had he not used the emojis, they make it harder for me to interpret... I can see where they could be acknowledging my missing him and looking forward to tomorrow... but they could also be about the insight/awareness I shared in the email.

I want a hug from T... like now, before I have to see him tomorrow.... but I guess I would have to look at him to hug him.

As far as trust... T has and continues to go above and beyond to earn my trust and does not expect it to be given easily.

Seems smart to at least get packed in case you do get evacuated. Not silly to worry a little. My anxious brain would have had me leave before we were evacuated but it sounds like you are being rational! Hope all is ok and the fire stays far away!

I let supposed to be soon ex-husband talk me in to another round of marriage counseling. Not sure how I am feeling about it. The one positive thing is that it will be the first time we will do any kind of couples counseling that didn’t have a religious bent to it.. so maybe that will help? We’ll see this week.

Well wishes to everyone around. Hello.

Hey artie - i googled wildfires, and it looks like there are 3 or 4 going on right now. They dont say anything about evacuating people, but nor do they say anything about campers. Are you guys in a resort or what?