Couch 201: The Transformative Grammar Couch

HUGS @chihirochild

Good T session last night. I feel fortified. Like okay, I can deal with this. Whatever "this" is. She kept changing the subject off of the battery thing though so I had to keep bringing it up. Oh, I found out her other job is at a hospital (I forgot to put that part in IST). Good to know if I need to go IP. HUGS Kit

Setting a clear boundary is not throwing a fit. The train wreck was not of your making, and you got off the track when you saw it coming. Well done.

You need a different mc, if you are willing to try again. This guy is an insensitive quack.

Hugs, chihiro. Sending you a virtual cuppa and a cookie, and a blankie to tuck up into.

A student in my microeconomics class is complaining about a wrong homework answer on the class-wide discussion board: "That's not what Chegg said it was!" (Chegg is a homework help site.)

Definitely a male populous.

Hugs to all who need/want.

I know I am still decompressing from everything with my son. I am getting extra hours at work, which I need to pay for T but more and more I am not wanting to go into work. I used to love my job. I’m not sure if it is the current politics and a new hire that drives me nuts or if it just feels different now that I am feeling better about myself. Today I interview for a higher, full time position but truth be told I am not sure I want it. I am waiting on some ID paperwork I had to replace before I can look at new jobs. But then there is a part of me that wants to take two weeks off and clean my house/start life over... but I can’t with the current job and wouldn’t be able to afford T. H is trying to be supportive but is having a hard time keeping up with all the mood/personality shifts. My son was already seriously struggling when H and I met so H hasn’t really seen me without the stress of son. H is also afraid that now that my options are wide open I am going to leave him.
I just want to rest, clean and hang out with T.

We are starting to get the back to school emails. I am not ready this year. It feels like there was no break due to me travelling about 100% more than I usually do this past month.

T really ticked me off in a text exchange we had over a week ago. I didnt say anything then and have resisted the urge to call or email. Everything is fine and will be and I know this is a conversation to have in person but OMG I just want to call so badly.

2 more days. I can do it.

sorry.

Your stories give me hope that I can return to college yet and wouldn’t be the dumbest one in the class.

Of course you wouldn’t be! Plus you’d do the work yourself, not obsess about grades, and try to actually learn something.

My summer is almost over. NOOOOO!!!! I finished cleaning the carpets. Tomorrow I get the dogs groomed. Friday I get myself groomed. LOL!

Monday starts inservice week. I hate inservice. At least this year they are posting quite a bit of it as Canvas courses we can complete independently so we can have a bit more time in our classrooms getting ready. I was rather impressed by that; sometimes administrators do have some common sense.

I've worked on my syllabi, student resources, setting up Canvas, and lesson plans for about two weeks straight now (I have 5 different courses this year), so I'm feeling like I'm in a decent place to get started. I probably should go up to school and run copies to beat the mad rush next week. Maybe tomorrow.

Mostly curiosity, but wondering if anyone knows the answer:

During the initial conversations, both my divorce attorney and the mediating attorney asked about therapy, not just whether I am seeing a counselor, but also whether the kids’ dad is. Why? It seemed like a standard part of their intake info. I’m wondering how this is relevant.

My t emailed me and told me mc reached out to him today. My t is mc’s boss at the practice. He said that he was meeting with mc tomorrow to talk about it and wanted to know in my words what happened yesterday.

Hard to tell why.. my pessimistic outlook has me thinking he wanted to talk to t before I said to him? Like he felt like I was going “tell on him?” Or maybe he really did want supervision in matter?

I told emailed back to t what happens. And not sure if he will respond at all.

No it wasn't that at all. I don't bake and I don't care who makes one as long as its correct. I've had so many cake fails through bakeries before, so I feel like I set my standards higher. I just got frustrated when he kept on repeating the same opinion when I said that's not what I wanted. Over reaction I know in hindsight.

I know it a total overreaction on my part. It's one of those expectations that I set for myself to have themed parties with matching cakes. In 3 birthdays this month, all three have been stressful days so it's more of wanting to fix that and make it a better day by having a party for them.

Now H is wanting to go on a mini vacation this weekend. It might do everyone some good to go hang out in a hotel and visit a place we've never been.

I got the bills paid at work which feels like an accomplishment. I dislike bill paying day at work. It's not even my bills or my money, there's just so much of them, and wading through them feels like a process. When we had two people in accounting, I would just prepare the bills for payment, while someone else physically wrote the checks. Now I do both and I still find it overwhelming. It's really just been a few weeks so I should give myself some grace. On the other hand, I'm like suck it up.

My eyes feel dark. I don't know if I am tired, or something is going on with me. I used to get this feeling a lot with former T and she attributed it to dissociation. IDK if that's it or not, or if it is just a warning to myself that I'm on the cusp of being overwhelmed. I have a short day at work today thanks to my PCP appointment. So I only have an hour and a half left. I should be able to get through my stacks of papers by then and hopefully leave feeling clear headed. I wish I worked at one of those progressive companies that had a ping pong table or something like that where you could go unwind for 10 minutes. I definitely could use a small break.

Oh and I'm definitely hormonal today. Hello chocolate! And Pasta.

I wrote T an email and then deleted it without sending. I was hoping that work would distract me. Then one of T’s friends came in just before I got sent to lunch and now I am thinking of T all over again and feeling little. T’s friend doesn’t know me or my connection to T but he started talking to me as he came out of the men’s room. More and more I am seeing how much T’s world overlaps with mine.

I think it's good that your T reached out to you to find out how you'd describe what happened. Rather than just talking to the MC without doing that. Hopefully he'll reply to your email.

I wasn’t asked that either time.

Is it a no-fault divorce?

Hugs to everyone who needs them.

Yesterday instead of just moping about my exT and blindly reacting, I made conscious decisions like taking the long long long way to somewhere so I didn't pass his rooms and actively distracting myself, a had a plan. I worked ok, ok enough to do it again today.

I have to go to a PCP appointment in a little while. Pocket riders anyone? Feeling anxious.