Couch 201: The Transformative Grammar Couch

CantExplain · Jul 31, 2019, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

Today started out so well. Then I came home and my neighbour was weeding my garden inside my yard. We sorted it out and she won't come inside the yard anymore but I still feel so angry. I am trying to let it go but nothing is helping.

The subconscious continues to feel the threat even after the threat has passed.

A taxi driver in Rome tried to cheat us. We called him on it and won, but I had to spend the next day in bed.

CantExplain · Jul 31, 2019, 12:40 AM

Question guys:
Do you grieve when your favorite clothes wear out?

susannahsays · Jul 31, 2019, 12:47 AM

Unless you literally have a unibrow, they're probably fine and the fact that she can't stop staring at them is just some bizarre character flaw of hers. I can't stand overplucked and over shaped eyebrows. They look so goofy. And then the women who draw on most of their eyebrows... don't get me started. I sometimes remove a few stray hairs from the end parts, but I certainly don't worry about it if I haven't done it and I'd never pay someone to do it for me.

I love the Life in Pieces episode where Tim accidentally shaves off half of one eyebrow before a photo shoot for some doctor's to watch thing. Sophia tells him he can fix it if he just evens his eyebrows out - so he shaves half his other eyebrow off. Of course, he looks really silly. So then Jen and Colleen try to fix it and their solution is to wax both his eyebrows completely off and draw them on. The results are horrendous. He goes to the photo shoot and asks the photographer to help him with his "little problem" using Photoshop. The photographer agrees. Later that night, Tim sees the published article and picture. Instead of fixing his horrible eyebrows, the photographer has Photoshopped in a horrible haircut (Tim is bald). So he looks goofier than ever.

Jul 31, 2019, 01:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Question guys:
Do you grieve when your favorite clothes wear out?

Yes, my favourite pair of Levi jeans is just about in tatters and unwearable but I can't throw them out. I wore them nearly 24/7

WarmFuzzySocks · Jul 31, 2019, 01:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

That's exactly what she said, without the Trump reference. "I can't not look at them."

I stared at hers right back and noticed they match her hair color (right now a weird pale yellow)...so she dyes her eyebrows too?

I've always liked my eyebrows, too. They're not ferrets or thick and beetling, they're just dark.

Uh, has she NOT looked at the eyebrows the young folk draw above their eyes these days?

You're just on trend.

unaluna · Jul 31, 2019, 02:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Question guys:
Do you grieve when your favorite clothes wear out?

Funny you should ask. Ive been thinking about some of my favorite pieces recently. As a teenager i would wear things to shreds. But also thinking about some nicer things.

unaluna · Jul 31, 2019, 02:38 AM

I love Life in Pieces. At first i thought it was just riping off Modern Family, but i loooooooove Colin Hanks wife on the show, and Diane Wiest, and James Brolin is a hoot. And i loved the clementine character but now she is just phoning it in as her soap opera character. Thats who i see now anyway.

Omers · Jul 31, 2019, 02:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Question guys:
Do you grieve when your favorite clothes wear out?

I have to admit that I have on sone sentimental shirts that can’t be replaced and those jeans that fit just right.

CantExplain · Jul 31, 2019, 04:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VariableNovember

Today has been a rough day. H has been rude and disrespectful to me the last couple of days, as well as he has not worked much in the past couple of months. I'm wondering if his prophecy is coming true: he speculated that I would get tired of him by the end of the summer. I'm not tired of him, though; I love him. I just want him to be the best version of himself.

If a man expects to be the main breadwinner and he isn't, he loses much of his identity and purpose. He falls back on macho posturing.

CantExplain · Jul 31, 2019, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SheHulk07

Today was by far the hardest day since leaving the hospital. Went to go get 2 cakes for my kids' birthdays, but only found 1 to match a theme my son picked out. I basically had an anxiety attack trying to figure out how to do the cake to match the theme I bought supplies for. H kept suggesting a unicorn cake which we did last year and it got messed up twice, so I told him I didn't want to do that again plus it didn't match the theme. I got so upset I left the store, got in the car, H said something and I said screw this, I'm done. Got out of the car, grabbed my purse and told him I'd see him later. I was going to go back in the store and try to figure out the cake without the stress of everyone around, but H got out of the car as well and started walking away as well. I ended up getting back in the car and driving off, leaving him in the parking lot until I cooled down, came back to the store to order the cakes and then he got back in the car while I was in the store.
I feel stupid and totally off the walls for reacting that way over a cake situation. I feel like I'm losing my mind these past few days. It's been such a struggle.

I wonder if this too is about gender roles. Do you resent male interference in the matter of cakes? Do you hold yourself to impossibly high standards because you think cake perfection is a woman's duty?

Lemoncake · Jul 31, 2019, 05:00 AM

As long your eyebrows don't look like this I think you're good to go.

Mum's holiday ruined after being left with 'Angry Birds' eyebrows | Metro News

Lemoncake · Jul 31, 2019, 05:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Question guys:
Do you grieve when your favorite clothes wear out?

Yep.

characters.

Lemoncake · Jul 31, 2019, 05:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VariableNovember

Today has been a rough day. H has been rude and disrespectful to me the last couple of days, as well as he has not worked much in the past couple of months. I'm wondering if his prophecy is coming true: he speculated that I would get tired of him by the end of the summer. I'm not tired of him, though; I love him. I just want him to be the best version of himself.

In addition, there are some stressful situations going on at my new job. I'm not sure, or at least it's looking like, I won't have a dedicated classroom next year. Our apartment has been overrun with my teaching supplies. I need them to have a home to go to.

Possible trigger:

The only reason I haven't SHed is because I doubled my dose of Ativan, but even now I'm on edge. Normally I'd be a few days away from seeing T, but no. I have a week and a half to go.

I'm sorry you're struggling so much.

There's no need for disrespect and rudeness in a relationship.

Is there a reason H is not working?

Lemoncake · Jul 31, 2019, 05:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Probably. He is a compulsive liar. I wish I could have gone in with him, but it's the clinic's policy that only the patient can see the T and Pdoc.

I was thinking the same thing....

Lemoncake · Jul 31, 2019, 05:10 AM

My sister sent me this (it's a cat cafe) :

Now that's cat showing luurve.

Lemoncake · Jul 31, 2019, 05:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Don't change back.

Thanks CE.

Lemoncake · Jul 31, 2019, 05:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Dang, IKEA just sent me a coupon for a free birthday meal and dessert. Bet it’s not gluten free.

do you have the self selection bars- maybe you could still find something.

Lemoncake · Jul 31, 2019, 05:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SheHulk07

Today was by far the hardest day since leaving the hospital. Went to go get 2 cakes for my kids' birthdays, but only found 1 to match a theme my son picked out. I basically had an anxiety attack trying to figure out how to do the cake to match the theme I bought supplies for. H kept suggesting a unicorn cake which we did last year and it got messed up twice, so I told him I didn't want to do that again plus it didn't match the theme. I got so upset I left the store, got in the car, H said something and I said screw this, I'm done. Got out of the car, grabbed my purse and told him I'd see him later. I was going to go back in the store and try to figure out the cake without the stress of everyone around, but H got out of the car as well and started walking away as well. I ended up getting back in the car and driving off, leaving him in the parking lot until I cooled down, came back to the store to order the cakes and then he got back in the car while I was in the store.
I feel stupid and totally off the walls for reacting that way over a cake situation. I feel like I'm losing my mind these past few days. It's been such a struggle.

Possible trigger:

I told T that the SI thoughts have been very strong the past few days. He knows of thoughts on Sunday I had when I talked to him. I didn't tell him about the thoughts I had last night, just that I hope I can make it through tonight without being safe. He said I could call him, but I always worry it'll be do late. He said the insurance care coordinator called him today and left a message asking how he thought I seemed after being discharged and if I've been having SI thoughts. He said he was going to return her call, but didn't say exactly what he's going to tell her. He asked if I had an opinion on what to tell her and I just told him that he can share what I said about the SI.

I'm not sure what all a care coordinator can or will do, so I don't have much of an opinion of what he should or shouldn't share.

I can understand the expectations but even though it might not fit with the theme, a child would be happy with a any cake. for my last birthday my sister got plain cupcakes and just used gel icing. it really doesn't matter- you're doing the best that you can, that's all that does.

Lemoncake · Jul 31, 2019, 05:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

@Lemoncake - your mother does not have to take the exam.

I am proud of you for doing what is in your best interest.

thank you.

healed84 · Jul 31, 2019, 06:52 AM

I am still really upset about what happened with mc yesterday. I talked to h about it last night, and h and the t are of the thought that I wasn’t getting what I wanted in the session, so I threw a fit basically.

That is not at all why I left.. I was sitting in the room with two men, who would not listen to what I was saying. Two men decided the direction of that session.. and the t acknowledged that I felt unsafe, and could tell I was feeling something (I was triggered at this point). But mc just went on, down a path I told him I couldn’t go down that day.

The t apparently told my h that he had never had a client walk out on him before. Which I find hard to believe. Maybe, he meant that early on in a session, or that early on in their work together. He also told h that maybe another t would work better. At the end (h stayed a little while after I left) the t offered to reschedule with h alone and not for the both of us. So, I guess he doesn’t want to work with me? Though I am not sure.. what a train wreck.

Jersey 4 · Jul 31, 2019, 07:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healed84

I am still really upset about what happened with mc yesterday. I talked to h about it last night, and h and the t are of the thought that I wasn’t getting what I wanted in the session, so I threw a fit basically.

That is not at all why I left.. I was sitting in the room with two men, who would not listen to what I was saying. Two men decided the direction of that session.. and the t acknowledged that I felt unsafe, and could tell I was feeling something (I was triggered at this point). But mc just went on, down a path I told him I couldn’t go down that day.

The t apparently told my h that he had never had a client walk out on him before. Which I find hard to believe. Maybe, he meant that early on in a session, or that early on in their work together. He also told h that maybe another t would work better. At the end (h stayed a little while after I left) the t offered to reschedule with h alone and not for the both of us. So, I guess he doesn’t want to work with me? Though I am not sure.. what a train wreck.

But the marriage counseling is for the both of you. They are so wrong about you throwing a fit. You deserve to be heard. It’s your journey as well. If he decided to schedule with H alone, I would not go back to that counselor. Sounds like he is just going to be a counselor for H.

Elio · Jul 31, 2019, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Question guys:
Do you grieve when your favorite clothes wear out?

Yes. I do. Clothes and other favorites.

Omers · Jul 31, 2019, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healed84

I am still really upset about what happened with mc yesterday. I talked to h about it last night, and h and the t are of the thought that I wasn’t getting what I wanted in the session, so I threw a fit basically.

That is not at all why I left.. I was sitting in the room with two men, who would not listen to what I was saying. Two men decided the direction of that session.. and the t acknowledged that I felt unsafe, and could tell I was feeling something (I was triggered at this point). But mc just went on, down a path I told him I couldn’t go down that day.

The t apparently told my h that he had never had a client walk out on him before. Which I find hard to believe. Maybe, he meant that early on in a session, or that early on in their work together. He also told h that maybe another t would work better. At the end (h stayed a little while after I left) the t offered to reschedule with h alone and not for the both of us. So, I guess he doesn’t want to work with me? Though I am not sure.. what a train wreck.

Ugh. I find this whole thing really upsetting. I have never done marriage counseling although H did come with me to one session and T turned it into a marriage session (that is the bulk of his clients). It was totally different. He was a facilitator and there to keep everyone safe. When he couldn’t tell how I was doing he “stretched ” and gently put his foot up to mine and threw me a nurturing side glance. When H got defensive T defused it.Ts #1 goal was to keep everyone feeling safe. Now, I know with his clients that come for marriage counseling he does have couples do exercises/activities that can sometimes invite clients out of their comfort zone but he would NEVER push a client to do it or get stuck on his agenda at the cost of another persons comfort. You are absolutely right to feel that you NEED to feel safe AND heard. Not want, need! You didn’t say you would never try the exercise (and even if you did he should have others that might feel safer) you said you weren’t there yet/that session. Ugh.

Omers · Jul 31, 2019, 08:57 AM

Now with my son gone I am sleeping 10hrs a night (like passed out asleep not laying in bed depressed). The last two days my anxiety has been wonky, I am thinking it might be work stress. I haven’t emailed T this week because I haven’t needed to. I told myself I could call him tomorrow and wish him a safe trip and remind him I want to hear about it when he gets back, bonus points for pictures. Today though I am feeling SO needy and the anxiety is getting in the way of my self care. It is little kid needy. I don’t have words, nothing is wrong, I don’t even need/want anything from him except to be close. Curled up on the couch while he did paperwork, helping him clean, landscape... what ever, just close. I have the weighted lap pad that I made that matches his office. It usually helps but doesn’t seem to fit the “need” today. I can make my house smell like his office but that doesn’t seem right today either. I guess with son gone and my not feeling threatened working with T is going to feel different.
I also made an appointment with Pdoc. Not sure I need meds but I need a strong woman to talk to and help me with the stuff coming up with T. I need to figure out how to afford her though.

chihirochild · Jul 31, 2019, 09:08 AM

I called in sick today.

Menu

Couch 201: The Transformative Grammar Couch

My Support Forums