Couch 208: The Practical Couch

Lemoncake · Dec 03, 2019, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

She’s just agreeing with you to angle for an Xmas present.

ETA: just don’t get her a Peloton. That commercial disturbs me.

Ha! I also know what that is. (I watched a business insider video about the company).

$2000+ though .

Lemoncake · Dec 03, 2019, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

I am just a miserable person. I'm miserable at work because I hate work, I'm miserable when I'm not at work because I don't know what to do with myself. I suck.

ETA: TW for numbers (that's a thing, right?)

Possible trigger:

Also I weigh almost 20 lbs more than I did when I started residency. A lot of that has to do with the psych meds I'm on -- they changed during my intern year -- but also I am always stressed out and eat like total crap. I don't know how to change my eating habits. I guess I should try WW or something. But eating is better than SH or drinking or some of the other stuff I end up wanting to do when I feel awful, so on the one hand it's like a harm reduction thing... God, I hate this.

It's okay to feel the way you do. You're struggling with an awful lot and you just can't magically snap out of it.

I've felt the same way- like I don't know how to be happy. You're doing your best that's all that matters.

Possible trigger:

At the moment I'm pretty much doing the same thing. I've stopped self harming but I've been eating a lot of chocolate mainly. More when I have exams. I don't have any real tips but chewing gum and flavored cold tea helps a bit, but you need to face the underlying issue= you just want comfort.
which is a perfectly normal thing to want.

LostOnTheTrail · Dec 03, 2019, 09:45 AM

Thanks, Cake. I know that wasn't directed at me, but it helps.

Lemoncake · Dec 03, 2019, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks

Ok, Couch, I had a moment today (again--still not divorced) but this time it was a good one.

Yesterday while I was hanging the stockings, I realized that the boys didn't know that they are supposed to be at their dad's on Christmas morning but we'd agreed that they get to choose since they're teens. So I gave them a heads up, and since everyone wandered my way at different points I ended up talking to them separately. I tried to phrase it really carefully to not sway them either way, and so they know that they're not choosing between parents or homes, just that I was giving some time to think and discuss. Here's where they landed, almost immediately: They each had a preference, but each first wanted to make sure to check in with the others because whatever his brothers chose was where he most wanted to be.

At this point, they could decide to spend Christmas in Timbuktu or on the moon, and I would be happy because my boys' priority is to be with each other on Christmas morning. My momma heart is full.

I honestly think you're an awesome parent and your kiddos are lucky to have you. I love how you gave them that choice and really took the time to listen to them.

Lemoncake · Dec 03, 2019, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SummerTime12

Today my boss told me I’m one of their best assessors. Made me feel a lot better, as I’ve been lacking confidence with work lately.

Congrats!

I'm glad your boss can recognize your effort.

I would also suggest making a small card with all the other positive things people have said about you. I keep mine on my table where I can see it every time I sit down on my table.

Lemoncake · Dec 03, 2019, 10:01 AM

I'll come back to finish replying- R in 2 mins.

LostOnTheTrail · Dec 03, 2019, 10:21 AM

I hope your session goes well, @Lemoncake.

Lemoncake · Dec 03, 2019, 10:55 AM

Haha It didn't.

Approx 25 mins spent in silence after I didn't want to show my face.
His internet disconnected.
I began to cry and I told him that even though he was with me now I still felt alone.
He told to speak.
I couldn't just cried more.

SheHulk07 · Dec 03, 2019, 10:58 AM

Possible trigger:

I don't want to be here. I'm struggling so much that I feel like I'm grasping at straws and fighting an uphill battle.

Lemoncake · Dec 03, 2019, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StressedMess

Since I didn't do Black Friday I figured I'd better get some stuff online today. Got the oldest and her boyfriend, and some for the youngest. Will finish up next payday. I still have to get some small gifts for people I didn't give birth to.

Happy Monday couch! Hugs and head-nods all around.

It's lovely to include others you didn't give birth to.

Lemoncake · Dec 03, 2019, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SheHulk07

Possible trigger:

I don't want to be here. I'm struggling so much that I feel like I'm grasping at straws and fighting an uphill battle.

I'm sorry you're so very low right now. You're babies need you.

What can do do in this moment to keep yourself safe?

When do you next see T? Can you call him?

Lemoncake · Dec 03, 2019, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Polibeth

OK night at work - went by fairly quickly.

My kitty that had the UTI seems like she is feeling better. Yay.

I'm glad your cat is doing better!

SheHulk07 · 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

I'm sorry you're so very low right now. You're babies need you.

What can do do in this moment to keep yourself safe?

When do you next see T? Can you call him?

I see him in 3 1/2 hours. Until then I'm just going to try to relax with my youngest, clean, and take a shower.

SlumberKitty · Dec 03, 2019, 01:34 PM

HUGS @SheHulk07 I'm so sorry you are feeling so badly. Try to breathe deeply if you can and visualize something soothing and calming. HUGS Kit

SlumberKitty · Dec 03, 2019, 01:43 PM

I did it. I told someone IRL (via text) that I had tried to commit sui. She took it well, though she said I needed to tell my parents. Ugh. I don't think so. I mean, I probably should, I just don't want to hurt them. And even though my Mom has bipolar depression, she does not understand my depression or SH. She really doesn't understand her's either but her's responds well to meds whereas mine doesn't. But I did it. I told someone. Someone I know IRL. I feel a little relieved now. HUGS Kit

Dec 03, 2019, 01:54 PM

That is all.

SlumberKitty · Dec 03, 2019, 02:13 PM

HUGS @Jersey 4

SheHulk07 · Dec 03, 2019, 02:29 PM

About to see T. Pocket riders, anyone?

atisketatasket · Dec 03, 2019, 02:38 PM

I swear they have the AC on in my office. I am freezing through several layers and my fingers are getting numb. It's warmer outside in the sun.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 03, 2019, 02:41 PM

I'll hop in, SheHulk. Hope it's a helpful session.

SlumberKitty · Dec 03, 2019, 02:48 PM

I'll hop in @SheHulk07 HUGS Kit

SlumberKitty · Dec 03, 2019, 03:04 PM

I got my Christmas cards filled out and addressed and stamped last night. My Dad was going to mail them for me today. I feel accomplished!

SlumberKitty · Dec 03, 2019, 03:04 PM

Now all the darn Christmas presents that need wrapping. I need Mary Poppins to come, sing a song, and snap her fingers and do it for me!!!!!

SheHulk07 · Dec 03, 2019, 04:00 PM

Session went okay, didn't really talk about how I was feeling other than I told him I don't want to be here. We mostly talked about feeling emotions in session rather then letting them overflow at home. I still feel the need to talk to someone about this today that won't freak out on me.

ElectricManatee · Dec 03, 2019, 04:38 PM

Today I learned about the mammalian diving reflex. I want to think I'm too cool for DBT, but d@mn is it useful sometimes. I used it to help get me out of a shame/self-hatred spiral.

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