Couch 208: The Practical Couch

So your therapist is the kind of person who would give everyone a cupcake regardless of their diet, but if someone were doing really well on their diet, they would get two?

Props on going skiing and doing something good for yourself!

I'll chuck that one his way and see what he does with it...

Now I want cupcakes.

*gets up to see if she has cupcake ingredients*

Cupcakes for everyone!

It seems like he wants to make sure he's not incentivizing being sick or in crisis or staying sick or in crisis. However, he's taking it to the next level in a way that makes no sense. I understand that he has concerns related to the diagnosis you don't like to name. However, he's just ended up incentivizing being dishonest that you feel bad. Honestly, I think when therapists control session frequency, it always creates an incentive for a client to be dishonest.

In any case, he must not think you actually feel bad and that your expressions of feeling bad are "acting out." This is a thing that people believe about people with a certain diagnosis, and it can be true sometimes. He might conceptualize you feeling bad as purely longing for connection with him. Following this line of thought, he is offering you a reward for not acting out. It would make sense if your problems could be solved purely by modifying your behavior.

I'm not a fan of the way your therapist approaches anything.

I made caramel but I put it in the freezer so I wouldn't eat it.

I have chocolate ice cream in the freezer but I ate enough s h i t this weekend so I’m not touching it. I’ll probably just go to bed soon.

Chihiro...I’m not sure what to say about your therapist. He just doesn’t make sense sometimes.

So...you can get what you need only as long as you don't actually need it? That makes no sense to me.

I understand what he's concerned about, but it seems he's over-complicating matters by about a bajillion. How about this: If he offers you the treatment you need when you need it, maybe you develop an understanding of how and when to get support needs met appropriately by others? (I dunno. It sounds reasonable, to me anyway, and avoids altogether the whole issue of whether you meet his criteria for doing well enough to get extra support.)

T didn't return my call, but at least I see him in the morning. He's probably wondering what the heck I wanted the evening before a session.

My kid is sick with a cold - hopefully it doesn't turn into pneumonia but I think he's feeling better this morning.

I couldn't sleep so I'm up early getting some household chores done - it's good to be productive especially since I work tonight.

H starts his new job today! He'll be teaching at a college. I got him all ready: picked out hos clothes and made him lunch.

I am hating my health right now.

I'm going to disabled student services today at my college. I'm so scared. I haven't been there for 15 years. My dad is going to come with me, so that will help. I can't believe I'm actually going through with this.

Recent cases from my hospital:

You're stronger than you think you. I hope they can make suitable adjustments for you.

That's good news about H.

Wishing all the best for a speedy recovery for little Polibeth.

How did your session go?

It's okay to be attached.

I hope you make the right choice for you with what you feel comfortable to share.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

He has no right to do anything without your consent.

Well said!

Latin and smartz.

It was alright, weird after being back from a short break. Talked about yesterday and he apologized for not getting back to me last night. He also mentioned his break for Christmas and the New Year. I think he said he'd be back on the 2nd.

Waiting to see pdoc after a 3 week hiatus so we'll see how this goes. I'm super nervous after all the SH and SI the past few weeks how pdoc will react

I watched the Mr. Rogers movie last weekend with my parents. They paid for it, including popcorn and drinks. It wasn't high on my list of movies to see but I found I actually like it. I don't remember watching Mr. Rogers too much when I was little. I'm sure I must have occasionally but (no judging here) my parents were fundamentalists when I was growing up (but changed to Southern Baptist when I was in High School) so we barely got to watch any TV when I was little. But I did watch a lot of TV at my aunt's house and the neighbors house. My aunt showed me The Godfather movie when I was 4. Yeah, okay. Probably explains why I can watch realistic violence but I can't get through the Little Mermaid because the villain freaks me out too much. I liked the Mr. Rogers movie though. Even though it wasn't really about Mr. Rogers so much. This weekend I took my parents (I bought the tickets, and the popcorn and drinks) to see Frozen 2. It was good. Probably not as good as Frozen 1 but I still liked it. My dad doesn't really do animated, but he came along anyway, and he said he liked Olaf.

The only people I've told about my recent Sui attempt is here on PC. I feel like I should share it with someone IRL. I have regular T on Wednesday, and I've decided to tell her. But I'm scared to tell anyone else IRL. I don't want my parents finding out (even though ironically if it would have worked they would have been the ones to find me). I make no sense to myself. HUGS Kit

Anyone doing any cyber Monday shopping? I have a little shopping left to do but it's like, I don't know what I want to buy so I find it difficult to shop online when I don't know what it is I am looking for. I feel bad because I feel like I should be doing more for Christmas. But my budget doesn't allow it. My Church does a toy drive and a food basket give away. I've donated 10 toys so far. And for the food, my class on Tuesday nights we all put in money throughout the year and then we use that to buy the food for the baskets. We need about 450 toys (total from the whole Church) and about 190 food baskets. Plus we had to put a new roof on the Church this year and invest in solar so that was $80,000.00 that everyone pitched in to raise. I just feel like my pocketbook is drained this year. Christmas should be fun and enjoyable, not stressful because there's an expectation of "stuff" At least I'm almost done shopping. HUGS Kit

I'm almost done with my Christmas shopping too. All I have left is a helmet for my sister's boyfriend and Sees candy for each family. Now I have to wrap them all.

I agree with you Kit. I don't like forced gifting especially for adults. I much prefer spontaneous gifting. It shows the person I was thinking of them. And it's usually more meaningful.

L and I won't be exchanging gifts. But she is going to pick out a meaningful object in her office for me to take care of over Christmas/New Years break.

@ScarletPimpernel I wish I could ask my T for something from her office to take care of while she is moving offices. I don't think she would do it though. =(