Couch 208: The Practical Couch

Speaking of the ultrasound, they found out that my ovarian cyst is gone??? And I now have a uterine fibroid I hate my body.

ugh when you have a fertility cycle you get a few ultrasounds (every other day at some points) to check the size of follicles and to see what is nature or not. Would wish it on anyone as it can be uncomfortable. Good luck. I didnt find it any more violating than a pap but still tough

My professor responded back to my question on the classroom forum and explained things a lot better. I think now I'll have a lot easier time writing this paper. I'm about a 1/3rd of the way done with it now thankfully.

Other than that, I'm really struggling tonight. My H is being a pain in my ***, just poking at me, touching me every time I sit near him, etc. I can't stand being touched right now even if it's not sexual. I want to scream at him!

Therapist was initially going to be gone this week. Then he said he might work one day this week. He sent an email yesterday and we scheduled for tomorrow. He emails me tonight that he's about a 3 hour drive away and although he was planning on driving back tomorrow to work a day, they're predicting snow where he is and only 3 clients wanted to meet so he's now not coming. He asked if I wanted a call. I was having some feelings and responded that I didn't want a call, that the timing was poor because it's hard to work through whatever's gone wrong in my head re: our relationship when he's not here (he cancelled once last week after some rupturey stuff recently) and that although I was hurt, I sincerely hoped he had a good holiday week.

He responds that he's feeling defensive, that I have no basis for feeling hurt, he's gone above and beyond what a therapist should be expected to do for a client, that he was primarily coming back to town because of me because we only met twice last week and he knows that is hard for me. He claims, despite saying all this, that he's not mad at me. I'm having trouble believing that claim. I'm having trouble with a lot of what he said. I never would have asked or expected him to drive back to town to meet with me this week. I told him it would have been easier for him to just say he was taking the week off than schedule something and be flaky (his words). He sounds completely fed up with me, which is something I've been fearing for a long time. He also said this: "So I am suggesting that instead of being hurt and pulling away, why not accept the support I’m offering and talk to me tomorrow?" That sounds reasonable, but I'm not particularly feeling like talking on the phone with him at this point. If I refuse a phone call, I'm being unreasonable or something. I have no idea what to do at this point.

Long night at work - logged 11000+ steps in 5.5 hours. I wish they'd give us roller skates



It's great to be back and my co-workers got me a birthday cake (I was sick and off work on my birthday) and told me that I was missed.

Hugs, Scarlet. Glad the cyst is gone--I think they can come and go with your cycle. That sucks about the fibroid though--will you need to have it removed?

Hugs, NP, that all sounds really difficult. Your T shouldn't have told you that you have no reason to feel hurt--whatever you're feeling is valid, and a T of all people should realize that. And it sucks that he was talking about how he's gone above and beyond for you--ex-T and Dr. T have said similar things to me, and it hurt. I'm not sure if you should take the call from T or not--if you're feeling uncertain about talking to him, then it's possible you could end up in more conflict that would I assume be left hanging until next week? But then maybe he'd be in a better mindset and could make you feel better about the relationship. Do you think you're going to ask him to still call?

NP, I don’t think your therapist is behaving well. He made the offer to see you; he changed his mind; you have every right to refuse the phone call especially since you’re the one who has to deal with the fallout. He should just say “ok, see you next week.”

No. 2 told DBC in their phone consultation that Smaug had gone above and beyond for me. DBC and I both thought this was hilarious given Smaug and her dumping me and stealing money.

Im so used to obliterating myself that the fact that there is a snowstorm involved in his cancelling makes it TOTALLY not about me whew big sigh of relief now i can just hide my own feelings behind that and never have to face them, and just come out all simpery sweet oh no of course its absolutely FIIIIIIIIINE.

Eta - so is that why ppl always think im being sarcastic?

Like LT has said you have every right to feel the way that you do. You don't have to accept the call if you don't want to.

You could use skype/ phone just sayin.

You're practically a super hero now at your current rate.

The cake sounds lovely and I'm glad they made you feel special.

Excellent frasier reference! Cant believe you just pulled it out!

Do you have a follow up session arranged?

I actually have it saved on my computer screen on one of my many sticky notes in the corner.

These are the others:

"It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane"

Sketchy videos link.

Not everyone will agree with me but this my own personal opinion and a post I sent to M&S on one of their social media pages.



The count of Monte cristo audiobook = where I stopped 1.27.19

My group are doing another group dinner, where you each have to make and bring something. I said I would make water and coke.

I might go peek on some of the well built men!

Do you have an oven? I have gotten like frozen fake meat bits and heated them up.

You're now also officially allowed to go to the men's changing rooms if you wanted to....

What happened with the supermarket guy?

AND why haven't you given me your orthodontists number yet?!

Haha I actually don't. The rent for my place is super super cheap because we have just those little cooking stoves and I share a bathroom. A new person moved in, In september but I still haven't met her. She hasn't knocked on my door. I haven't done so either. There's been no sticky notes or charts left for me in the bathroom and she doesn't clean religiously every week either.

I want fake meat. I bought this for my brother.

Vivera Veggie Shwarma Kebab | Ocado

I'm glad your teacher got back to you.

You have a right to say no to ANY unwanted touching regardless if it's sexual or not. A real man would listen to you and not persist despite you telling them to stop.

I'm sorry you're in a bad place right now kit.

Well done for telling your truth and asking for extra help.

Are you at work now?

How did your session go?

I have a session in an hour (several days early because of the holiday) and no idea what to talk about.

I haven't heard back from my PCP yet. She might not be working this week. I've been reading up on fibroids. Mine is 2cm which is considered small, and there's only one. I don't know if this is what's causing me pain. I think I'm going to be referred to my ob/gyn. I don't know what she'll do though. She might just leave it alone, she might do some sort of procedure, I doubt she'll do surgery, and she might change my birth control meds. It's just weird because two of the thimgs that help prevent this is birth control meds and Vitamin D which I take both. But I don't have all the symptoms, so I don't know what will happen. I'm kimd of hoping for nothing.