Couch 208: The Practical Couch

Yeah, she does seem to like her. I think I'm just not sure how she is with meeting with me and H? She was suggesting that on either alternate weeks (D goes every other week) or else once a month. I don't really want to do every other week with H. Maybe once a month?

Yeah..LT...I mean the therapy is for D..right? So maybe once a month and then if there is something pressing or she needs to talk with you guys sooner then she will schedule sooner. I don’t know how kid therapy works but I’m sure there are probably still confidentiality laws to an extent, right? So I wouldn’t worry about her being too abrupt. If the therapy works..you’ll start to see changes in D at some point.

Yeah, seen D 3 times, me and H twice. I guess I just worry she doesn't have the right skill set to work with her. She tends to seem unsure of herself. Hesitant in choosing her words (H noticed this as well). And I think I'm a little bothered that she used "autistic" in reference to D (today and some before), but I know that's a controversial topic in the autism community, what terms to use. Dr. T will always just say "on the spectrum" or maybe has a couple times referred to "her autism" but more in the sense of "with her autism, she has x to deal with." So maybe I'm just used to that... I don't know. It sort of feels like "disabled person" vs. "person with disability" to me.

ETA: I think ex-MC also always used terms like "on the spectrum." I know he worked with some teens and adults who are.

Yeah, I mean, some of it is P talking about strategies we can use with her. But i sort of want a chance to actually try out some of those strategies before seeing her again (without D).

If she is helping your daughter, I wouldn’t worry about the language.

I am disabled and have no issues with the term disabled person, it’s less clunky than person with a disability. I really hated differently abled when that was in vogue, though.

Thanks for sharing your perspective on this. I'd be bothered by "differently abled" as well--it sounds just over-the-top PC. I guess really "on the spectrum" isn't that far removed from "disabled person." I suppose the equivalent of "person with a disability" would be "person with autism" or "person on the autism spectrum." I'm not sure why it feels different to me hearing "she's on the spectrum, right?" vs. "she's autistic, right?" Maybe I just have the DSM V imprinted on my brain or something...

Happy birthday, Stressed!

I agree - I'm disabled, my son is disabled (I refer to him as autistic - he refers to himself as autistic and he is also deaf). I never worry about the language anyone uses - although I also hated differently abled.

Whew....I made it to Ts on time. I worried that wasn't going to happen because it was an hour drive from my doctor's to his office. My pcp had their behavioral health lady come in and ask me a few questions. After the SH today and what else I told her, I was really worried that I wouldn't make it to see T today.

Pdoc's nurse called to check on me today since I have been so physically sick - which I thought was nice until the nurse said "We want to make sure that you have been continuing to see T every week to stay one top of your mental health needs". Yeah, OK, I told him that I have been dealing with PNEUMONIA AND STREP and have not seen T in 3 or 4 weeks (I don't even remember the last time I saw her - sometime in October.

When the nurse started giving me crap about not going to therapy I told him I'd be happy to come into their office and sit in their waiting room for an hour, coughing and breathing all over patients and employees and starting the next plague.

I'm sure pdoc and I will have a good laugh over how clueless his nurse can be (he is aware)

Happy birthday stressed

I have sent my revised email to my ExT i thought i would be more nervous or something but i think i realise there is no chance of a reply. I feel better sending it and my need to communicate my dissatisfaction to him is lessening.
I have asked for an honest reply but maybe that is hoping for too much

I’ve been home from work for awhile now. I need to take a chill pill and go to bed. I just don’t have any chill pills.

I wonder if it feels different because she’s a therapist—so if she’s not aware of how person-first language is important to many people, what else is she not aware of? If that makes any sense. Not that it’s so wrong or bad that she said it, but that maybe it says something about her as a professional?

Hm, that's a good point. That it might make me doubt her knowledge on kids on the spectrum or her knowledge in working with kids in general. Or am I just concerned she's out of touch? (Admittedly, I wonder that about my T at times when he keeps referring to this form as a "list-serv")


I think I need to discuss this with (my) T to figure out where exactly this feeling is coming from and how to handle it. I suppose one option is to say something to P, see how she reacts (like, would she apologize?), and if she shifts her language at all. With my T, I wonder if that's just how he references autism anyway, or if he is following my lead and using the labels that I do?

This forum has been slooowwww today. *grumpy*

I feel like I should journal to get all these thoughts and feelings out of my head. But I also feel like I dont have the time or mental energy to do that. I just need them out. I feel like one big messed up person.

I'm sorry shehulk

I think we used all iterations of person-with-autism labels to avoid calling my d "autistic" because we wanted to make sure to use respectful person-first non-labeling language.

Guess how she identifies herself? No biggie. I am just glad she landed on a way to refer to her way of being that she is comfortable with.

Hugs, LT. I think there's just no one right answer when it comes to disability labels, and what's most important is whether the t can be helpful to your d. If you have a preferred way you'd like her to refer to your d's autism, you could probably ask her...or approach it sideways by starting a discussion about the different ways to refer to people who've been diagnosed with autism and see what the t's reasoning and perspective is.

Session in an hour. Anybody around to pocket-ride?

I'm awake, hope it's not too late.

I'm in

Thanks, all. Session was good. I've just had an essay that I thought was a certainty rejected. Finding the bottom of a bag of M&Ms.

I hate everything right now.

Breathe Jersey...Breathe

It’s not working.

Karma bites back hard. It takes care of things the way people can’t. Karma has more power than humans.

Oh the horror- I passed clinical biochem with a B at 85.44%