Couch 208: The Practical Couch

sports maybe

Ask him if he wants to play a game where he has to run a lot or jump 5 times.Anything to tire him out a bit.

Wow well done on getting through today.

We already were at the playground.

I'm so sorry.

Perhaps he's like my D, who seems to have boundless energy at times....could try jumping jacks or something like that in the house. Wonder if there's some holiday stress that's rubbing off on him?

I wasn't totally sure what I'd talk about in today's session. Then I mentioned how stressed I am about the holidays (both Thanksgiving and Christmas), T asked what made them so stressful, and it was like the floodgates opened. Literally, as in I was sobbing at some points so hard I couldn't speak. then kept apologizing for that. Then would be like, "Why am I apologizing? I know it's OK to cry in here. I mean, you have a box of tissues right here for a reason." We talked some about my late grandmother, how I associate her with Christmas, how some of it may be about that. I'd come across a photo of her and I from about 10 years ago (at Christmas) the other day and had saved it to my phone, so I shared it with Dr. T. He seemed to look at it for a long time (may have been trying to adjust to seeing me with short hair...) And talked some about how I felt as a kid at Christmas and how I think back to that now. I said that seemed to be part of it. Also about expectations. Both then and now, with D. Not wanting to disappoint people. Feeling I had to put on a happy face.

ETA: He said how I need to remember I'm not responsible for other people's feelings.

Oh and in an amusing moment, at one point when I apologized for crying and having trouble speaking, T said, "It's OK, you're a little verklempt." To which I replied, "Just talk amongst yourselves a bit." T: "Oh good, I was afraid that was too old of a reference for you." Me: "I'm not too far from your age, remember...." (Old Saturday Night Live reference--look up "Coffee Talk")

I think the fact that his parents started decorating this weekend for Christmas has him thrown off. His mom told me this is the first year he really understand “Santa”. He knew the other years who Santa is and what he does but she said this is the first year he’s actually totally getting it. Plus the decorating is only half done and that’s bugging him. I find it odd it’s bugging him since he is never able to finish anything he starts.

Hm, that could be part of it, change in appearance of the house. And also the Santa thing. I have no idea how much my D understands the Santa thing or if she really "believe." We'll say Santa brought the presents that come to our house, but that's about it.

When he gets home from school I’m going to structure the rest of his afternoon. He’s going to have to choose from a set of 3 things to do and that’s it.

I feel like I am falling into a big black hole of depression. I'm starting to have SUI thoughts. Ugh. At least I only have three days of work this week and then four days off. Maybe I can sufficiently recuperate. I think I'm depleted.

Hugs, SK. Hope the days off help!

It's the case manager guy that I met briefly for a few minutes last time. It'll be him every week. I have no idea what to expect. How long will he be here each visit. What he will ask. Etc. Worst timing this week to ask how I'm doing. I cried within 5 minutes of being at Ts this morning which I've only done a handful of times since seeing him.

Hubby’s knee replacement seems to have gone well . They had him up in walking a bit about 3 hours after surgery. Looks like a two nighter in the hospital. He’s a little complicated because of the reflex sympathetic dystrophy.

I just sat down in my t’s waiting room and I’m already feeling like I don’t wanna be here

Hope your appointment goes well @SummerTime12

So I texted my accountability partner, and I skyped a coworker who knows I have depression and told her I'm struggling with it more than usual today. I'm trying to do what Pastor T says and reach out. It's hard. I'm distracting myself as much as possible but the pain is pretty overwhelming today. Just want to curl up somewhere and stop existing and stop feeling. Today is hard. HUGS Kit

You're doing amazingly well, Kit. Well done for reaching out. HUGS.

My daughters IT teacher was going to try and tell me there was nothing she could do about my daughters lost usb driveuntil i demonstrated that i knew just how a database works and then she suddenly had solutions. Man i hate it when people try to pull the wool over my eyes.

Well Kit on being strong.

I just want to talk to someone without having them give me advice or ask me "On a scale from 0-10. I hate those things and it stops me from reaching out because I don't know how to answer it.

We're supposed to have a snow storm tonight into tomorrow morning. The county's government offices are closed, but I don't know about the human services and how it works for home visits. I haven't heard from our case worker if he won't be by tomorrow...I'm hoping he won't be. I dont know how those things work though.

I'm sorry Kit you are feeling so badly, and Shehulk that you are dreading this week. I am too. I have no Thanksgiving plans, and have no idea what I'll do with myself. I normally sleep weekends away, but I don' think even I can sleep for 4 days. I also have to My doctor was pretty nonchalant about it, but I am not sure it is because she isn't too worried or because she didn't want to freak me out.

Hugs, Velcro. Hope it goes OK!

I just had a transvaginal ultrasound last week. I've had them before too. It's sort of better than a pap, and sort of worse. It's not painful. Just a lot of pressure. If you don't want them looking at your privates, you can ask to insert the probe yourself. Once the probe is in, they just move it around and push sometimes. I would rather have a ultrasound than a pap.

Might want to take something to help calm you before and after or however you might prepare yourself for a pap.