Couch 209: The Kummer Couch

Morning, Couch.

Last session of 2019 in an hour. Anybody around to pocket ride?

I’m wide awake.

My sister served that prick the papers Tuesday. (There were so many delays with these stupid papers). Prick took a look at them and said “Okay”. And handed her the copy of the service paper signed. Not the agreement just the service part. Fine. Then all night Tuesday there was silence. He woke up Wednesday and went bat s h i t crazy. Left without taking the baby with him to drop her off a daycare. (His job as my sister starts work at 6:45am) She texted him and said “I now have a text that you abandoned your child”. He came storming back into the house, grabbed baby, didn’t put a a coat on her (despite it being freezing cold yesterday). And took her to daycare without her food and coat. My sister had to stop working (she works at home on Wednesdays) and take her stuff to the daycare. He has a family member who is a family law attorney. He took the papers to her last night to look at them line by line. Fine. I’m glad he did. He would have been stupid to sign without doing that. He came home last night wasted and all he said is “My lawyer will call your lawyer”. (Which means he wants to make changes even though this agreement is based solely off the stuff they agreed to in mediation)

You know. Hate is a strong word. I don’t hate many people. But him? This guy and the **** he does to my sister? I hate him. And I don’t even share here most of the stuff he does. It goes way beyond what I share here.

Unfortunately he will never be fully out of her life because of the baby.

Okay. I’m bringing my coffee though.

I’m in, Lost

Thank you both. @Jersey 4 - that merits an 'Ack!' to me. Could it not be argued that he poses a risk to the child?

Thanks Lost. Unfortunately no. In our state he would he would have to physically harm the baby to lose custody. Our state is very into co-parenting and most of the time courts award 50/50 custody. As long as there is no physical harm
to the baby he gets his parenting time even if he is wasted all the time.
The judge will just look at my sister and say “Prove he’s a bad parent”

That is unbelievable. Forgetting the child seems negligent to me.

I think if my sister wasn’t there the court would see it as negligent but since she was there he didn’t technically “abandon” the baby.

I guess he was lucky it was a day she was working from home... It seems once they're living in separate locations, maybe she needs to set up something with the daycare (though maybe it's already set up), where if he has to drop or pick up the baby, she gets notified.

Yes. Great idea. You see the issue is that the baby goes to a daycare where his sister works and she works in the room the baby is in. They put her in this particular daycare because she works there and that was before this whole thing started. But the way the custody schedule is set up..with his rotating weekly days. He will only be taking her to the day care one day every other week. Otherwise my mom will be taking her. She goes to daycare two times a week. My mom watches her the other 3 days. I just got off the phone with my sister. She’s crying. She thinks he is going to want to change the custody agreement so he gets half so he has to pay less in child support. It would be a very easy change since nothing is signed yet.

I just put my exhausted energy to use and cleaned my bathroom and kitchen and mopped my living room floor. Now to shower and go find something to do.

—
Hope he doesn’t try to have ‘parenting time’ when he is wasted. CPS might see that as negligence on the mother’s part allowing the baby to be around illegal substances (if he’s using illegal substances to get wasted) or just allowing the baby to be in a dangerous situation.

My ex once wanted to pick up our daughter for visitation driving with one of his legs in a cast up to his hip. I wouldn’t let her go. Told him to get his parents to pick her up..or someone safe to drive. All hell broke loose but I held firm.

My sister holds firm when he’s wasted. Also she plans to have wellness checks set up when the baby is in his care once she moves out. There is something in the agreement about him being okay with wellness checks when the baby is with him.

I have to go shower. The children at work are sick this week and I feel Like I can’t get the smell of vomited breast milk off me.

Fml. I have not been able to find any suitable arrangement for the grey cat. Contacted a couple rescues in my area and the humane society. One rescue said they don't foster, which wasn't even what I asked - I was just looking for any resources or ideas about what to do. The other rescue never responded. The Humane Society was ****ing useless. They told me to call then the lady acted like I was an idiot and said the cat would have to be utd on rabies for at least 21 days before they would take her. I kind of wonder if she thought this is actually my cat, tbh. Anyway, that seems like a dumb requirement for a shelter. I know I should have taken the cat to the vet already, but first I had all those unexpected financial things come up, then the semester was drawing to an end and I just didn't have time.

The Humane Society woman told me to call animal control which really annoyed me. Why would I be calling the Humane Society if I was willing to send her to the pound? I felt like she thought I was a bad person because I couldn't say if the cat is utd on rabies. I told her I didn't want the cat to be euthanized, so she said to get the rabies and call back after 21 days. That also pissed me off because the whole issue is that I'm going out of town for Christmas. I feel like she thought I was just some horrible person who was trying to offload her pet for the holidays. She was super unsympathetic and harsh, which seems like a poor attitude to have towards someone who is doing their best to care for a stray.

This feels like the time I made a report to the ASPCA about suspected animal cruelty by my grandparents' next door neighbors and they went and tattled to both my grandparents and their neighbors and said I was the one who reported. Oh and I think I may have been vaguely threatened by the sheriff or somebody over that. I can't remember exactly. It was awful. I would do it again in a heartbeat, of course.

Cat owners, do you think it will be ok if I leave the cat in my place if I leave her with 5 litter boxes and plenty of food and water? I need to leave today, but I can come back the day after Christmas.

Yes I do as long as you leave her some running water (sink dripping sort of thing) and also keep the toilet lid open for her. Sitting water will get slimy although I would still leave it out for her. And as long as she is a food nibbler - like she goes and eats and goes away and comes back and eats some more. I have left my cats up to 4 days without a sitter (not ideal but we were in a bind) and they were fine -crabby at me -but fine and they still had food left

That movie looks like a bad acid trip.

I love musicals but am not keen on Cats. I don't like the music from it that I have heard.

Cats Movie Review: I Have Seen Sights No Human Should See

If anybody needs me, I'll be in the corner, rocking myself to oblivion. Today has been a Day.

Yes—I have left new cat for almost 5 days. Left out 5 bowls of food and 5 of water. Had eaten but not finished the food when I returned (bowls maybe half full), one bowl of water was dry, rest were still half full.

I am hoping when the newspaper reviews come out (it opens tomorrow) that it will change her mind.

She says she wants to see it to see if it’s as good as the Broadway show, but to my knowledge she never actually saw the Broadway show.

HUGS @LostOnTheTrail

My sister decided they are coming on Christmas day now instead of the day after Christmas. I'm bummed. I know it's selfish, but I like my quiet Christmas, wake up late, eat my Dad's amazing cinnamon rolls, go to the movies, chill, have some steak. But now it's going to be all hectic and crazy. Why couldn't it have stayed hectic and crazy after the holiday?!!! I have to accept the situation but I don't have to like it. And I have a migraine this morning and like NOTHING to do at work at the moment. This is going to be a long day. I can feel it in my bones.

Not a cat owner, but I think they have things that dispense water and food, so it wouldn't have to all be sitting out (particularly the water).