[Lemoncake]

Anything you would like to say to your therapist, big or small... post it here.

[puzzclar]

Thank you for answering the phone call last njght! Still in a low space, and can't feel anything, don't want to study, which is a problem. Why???? Why do I have to be so low??

[junkDNA]

You know , the worst part is that to me, my whole world Is breaking down. Just ... devastated right now. I left work and didnt tell anyone. I'm not safe

But to you....its so insignificant . A mild annoyance, like swatting a fly out of your face .

You will never know the depths of my grief. My greif about YOU. About the last decade of therapy with YOU

well, is this finally it . You were so different 2 months ago. So compassionate and caring, you were THERE. Now ? It's a 180° turn again . I should have expected this. You turn from hot to cold so much

I am confused by this convoluted relationship.

I hope to have the strength to just not go back

I dont even want closure . Because I know this means nothing to you. That I'm just a desperate piece of **** , an annoying fly In your face.

God theres so many memories. What do I do with them all?....

I see you have updated your LinkedIn profile. What a hoot. "Experience and understanding of working with ... " Oh my sides. "Experience of winging it" is more accurate.

[Lemoncake]

Actually I am mad at you. I can't even like your stupid picture cause we're not friends on facebook, ( you have that other girl who gave you a review on your list)

Therapy is stupid.

My brain is effed and I only have two days left until friday.

But I know if I did email you, you would still reply despite being away. I just hate being so weak in this need for you.

[nottrustin]

For a couple of months your profile on PT said your practice was completely full. Now it does not say that. I wonder if it is the normal coming and goings of therapy clients or is something else going on. Why does it matter to me??

[Out There]

I still might have seen that as positive if you hadn't done something so stupid , thoughtless and hurtful. Idiot.

[blackocean]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

You know , the worst part is that to me, my whole world Is breaking down. Just ... devastated right now. I left work and didnt tell anyone. I'm not safe

But to you....its so insignificant . A mild annoyance, like swatting a fly out of your face .

You will never know the depths of my grief. My greif about YOU. About the last decade of therapy with YOU

well, is this finally it . You were so different 2 months ago. So compassionate and caring, you were THERE. Now ? It's a 180° turn again . I should have expected this. You turn from hot to cold so much

I am confused by this convoluted relationship.

I hope to have the strength to just not go back

I dont even want closure . Because I know this means nothing to you. That I'm just a desperate piece of **** , an annoying fly In your face.

God theres so many memories. What do I do with them all?....

What’s going on with you and your t?

[puzzclar]

I know you care but I don't. I don't want to tell you everything.....

Possible trigger:

I still want to die. I'd prefer to not say it but I know you'll get it out of me. Why can't I keep my big fat mouth shut! Or my face from smiling when you do something funny. Or rather say something. But it doesn't change the fact that I still don't want to be around anymore.

I hope in less than 48 hours something changes. That is when I'll see you again. And I hope pdoc can do something to actually help.

[Lemoncake]

Possible trigger:

I just got off a 8 min phone call with my mother. My father was shouting in the background for most of the entire thing. With a lot of swearing at my mother. He was called by the tax office and needs to pay around £1000 back.

Over payments and under payments happen all the time, so I don't think it's a big deal. I can pay it off directly for him when they send him written confirmation of the amount- but what just got me is how bloody scary his stupid rants would have been to a child to witness. I'm not even there but I did feel huge waves of anxiety.

I've actually lost count of the number of times the police were called to the house.

I can't ever imagine you losing your cool like that. I don't think you would ever beat and degrade your wife like that. Your house actually feels like a home.

Ho hum exam on friday.

[puzzclar]

Possible trigger:

I looked at something I shouldn't have! Ahhh do I have to go through this s***! I'm not one to swear yet that's how down I am, last the point of caring.

[Lemoncake]

I'm sorry but I'm still going to cancel our next session- despite you answering my email.

I don't need anymore therapy.
I don't need anymore therapy.
I don't need anymore therapy.

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by blackocean

What’s going on with you and your t?

Its possibly the end of my decade long psychotherapy with my therapist (we shall see tomorrow.... )

Or

It's just another elaborate paranoid delusion my brain has crafted for me ...... again.

But I guess we will see tomorrow

Of course I am going back. Of course .

[SummerTime12]

Are you gonna reply to that email from yesterday? I kind of want to know if this is done or you’re still suggesting we talk about a solution..

[puzzclar]

I want to hear from you!! I don't know if taking the time off will be effective.

[Echos Myron redux]

Argh I feel so sad. So much left unsaid. So much I need to know but don't know if I want to know. If what I suspect is true, I wonder why you want to communicate it to me? Is it conscious? It must be, right?

[SlumberKitty]

Dear T: I have no idea what to talk about tonight. I'd really rather just go home and sleep but I don't want to pay for a missed session so I'll show up. Maybe we'll just talk about work.

[blackocean]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

Its possibly the end of my decade long psychotherapy with my therapist (we shall see tomorrow.... )

Or

It's just another elaborate paranoid delusion my brain has crafted for me ...... again.

But I guess we will see tomorrow

Of course I am going back. Of course .

I hope all is ok. Hugs

[SummerTime12]

I for real need you to reply. I had mentally prepared myself to not be able to go to therapy for a while, but then you suggested maybe we could talk to figure something out. And now you’re now responding.. so I have no idea what’s going on. I’m fine either way, but I just need to know, because not knowing is making me feel like s***.

[puzzclar]

I was driving when you called... and I answered but didnt' say how I was.

Possible trigger:

I really meant to tell you everything but then you threw in the I Think you should take 10 days off. I was a little mad when I saw that I'll be missing an important training. but I have to say it's not the end of the world yet. And now I want to call because you know what all these triggers... that's right sui thoughts. Too bad, I don't si. then you for sure would place me in a hospital.

If only you knew.

looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. been just about a month.

[puzzclar]

I'm so nervous to speak to you. I hope I can sleep. But as pdoc said to take the antianxiety med, hopefully that will help

[Lemoncake]

Possible trigger:

I'm just tired and just feel so hopeless.

[circlesincircles]

Can I have a hug?

[Echos Myron redux]

You put a "kiss": 'x' at the end of your email. You've never done that before. At what point do we actually call off this therapy thing and just admit that we are friends?

(I am not being entirely serious with that last sentence btw)