Female Therapist

Ok.
Here goes.

Any of ya'll who know me, know I've had major issues with a woman conselor. Well, b/c of a situation outside of my control, my supervisor has decided that I can't continue to serve as an intervention specialist until I complete some counseling. Problem is, both counselors are female.

::: sigh :::

WHY WHY WHY is this such an issue for me?

Listen to yourself. You'll figure out a way.

Good luck. {{{Gracey}}}

Ohhhhhhhhhhh Perna. That was dirty!!! LOL
::: smacks Perna's hands ::::

It just kills me, you know? Before she was my "counselor" I liked "M" just fine. I thought she was competent, capable, and we got along fine. Now, I avoid her like the plague. What is she going to see? What might I say that could taken a certain way? Why am I so afraid of her? I KNOW her! I shouldn't be afraid!

I've been in counseling before. . .have a good history with it EXCEPT for female counselors.

I asked my supervisor could I see someone else, and she was like, "Because you work with M?" And I said, "No, it doesn't have anything to do with that. I have a problem trusting women and I'm not sure this is going to work." I was honest, open. Should have been ok, righ? WRONG. Supervisor sits down, takes my hands in hers, and says, "Well, maybe then, this is the right time, the right place, and M is the right person. You can't carry this forever." Grrrrrr

I hate this. I HATE this. I don't hate women. . .I have friends. We aren't touchy feely, but we're buds, you know? I just don't like female therapists. I can't open up to them. Can't trust them. Can't be real with them.

And so here I sit. . .rather than be on assignment and doing the field work I love, I'm now an "admin."

Gag

I would, offhand, assume it was your mother's fault :-) or over-identifying with your father who didn't like your mother or something. It's just a stupid learned behavior. So work on unlearning it. Some female in "authority" screwed you good in the past it sounds like.

My mother was my primary abuser. No father to speak of. I'm pretty sure I understand the underlying reasons for why I'm like this. . .I just don't know how to fix it. I'm a bit old to be learning new tricks. . .and a bit frustrated. i don't see where this has anything to do with my job, but then I guess that's why I'm not the boss, eh?

You have to be 100% with both sexes, not 50% with one :-) Relationships take both sides of us.

You're not too old for new tricks; I'm 57 and still learning the new tricks. You can only fix it by getting the anger and fear and all that other stuff about your mother out (standing in the rain, you won't drown). I had that stepmother, sometimes made the wicked witch of the west look friendly. My T was female and it turned out well. Only took 18 years of therapy with her, literally, LOL.

EIGHTEEN YEARS?????

::: faints::::

Hey, how long have you known your mother? It ain't going to get resolved any faster than you should be losing weight :-) About 1-2 pounds a week. I'm 115 pounds overweight.

LOL I've known about my mother forever. No "recovered" memories here. . .she's always been the source of my pain. I know it takes time, but I thought I'd done been through all that. I don't want to rehash something that doesn't really matter, you know?

Gracey, I feel it is no one's business at work who you choose for your counseling, if counseling is a requirement for your job. If the requirement is, for example, for 10 hours counseling, then tell your boss you will identify a suitable counselor, get started right away, and once you have met with your new counselor and established a schedule for completing the requirement, you will let your boss know when you will be complete. I would not share any personal information with my boss, such as why you don't like female counselors, etc. All that is none of her business. The requirement is that you get so many hours counseling for your job, and you will complete that in a timely fashion. Be professional with your boss, but hold fast to your boundaries. Your personal life is none of her business.

You don't get to just rehash, you have to "relive" and feel the pain. No other woman is your mother so you shouldn't be lumping them all together. I almost killed my therapist in frustration because I couldn't get that my stepmother's comments were hurtful and my T kept using one example as an. . . example over and over and over and over again (why I was going to kill her, if she used it one more time) but I finally saw it and things snapped into place (and it wasn't my T's neck in my hands either). But that was a relatively simple thing. But sometimes it's like playing charades and having obvious clues and still not getting it but when you do, you can't figure out how you didn't in the first place.

When we did the Christmas thing with my husband's family just this past Friday, we played some game on 2 teams where they gave you a word you had to act out on a timeclock and TWICE my sister-in-law, on the other team, was doing very good, very obvious pantomimes and her team wasn't getting it and I hadn't seen the word either time but couldn't stand that she was so "obvious" but they weren't getting it so I blurted the words out and gave the other team points :-) I just couldn't bear seeing what was so obvious and having them not get it. Needless to say, our team won anyway, both times :-)

My take on this is probably... not acceptable... but here goes... and pls.. this is just my opinion...

Since it is for a job.... and you are being Made to do this... to do what it is that you Love..

I say "Fake IT".... yepper.... you're good... fake.. the counseling.... go in.. and.. fake away...

If at some point You... choose to work thru these issues... then.. seek out.. who you want to work with... and at a time frame that you want...

To be forced... into working thru issues... with someone that you do not want too... blah to your supervisor.. is what I say...

That is what I would do.... so I could do the field work that I loved.... and I would not feel even a tad bad about it..

so pls... do not attack my opinion... is just an opinion... and it may not work...

I have found... that I can do therapy.. with one female... the others... set me so on edge.. couldn't stand them...

so maybe.. this T.. will be one that you just might be able to work with...

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I would rather be WHOLE than good.
~Carl Jung

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I love your signature, Gracey. It says so much, doesn't it?

LOL. . . .

You know Echoes, b/t you and Perna. . .my butt is properly chapped.

I'm glad you laughed