Couch 212: The French Vanilla couch

About to see T1 in a few...the one that I seem to click with the most so far and has let me call him between our last session.
Hoping it goes well, since I'm still getting used to him.
We have my son's in home therapist and behavioral coach both coming over this afternoon.
I also have a telephone pre assessment for some place that offers outpatient iop/php/therapy that T1 said he wanted me to check out as well.

I just gave the kittens a wadded up piece of paper to play with. They have been swatting and chasing it around the room for ages. Fluffy kitten just bounded out of the room carrying it in her mouth, and now they are batting it down the steps.


Christmas kittens was the most brilliant idea I've had, probably ever.

Thanks for sharing this sweet story @WarmFuzzySocks Amelia's favorite toy is also a wadded up piece of paper. There are several around the house. I have to remind myself not to stoop down, pick them up and throw them away, because they are her toys, not trash that escaped the trash can via the dog. Amelia also loves the plastic balls with jingle bells inside of them. They are also all over the house. Esther's quite old now at 15 so she doesn't play much, especially with her diabetes, but if I get out the laser pointer, she is all over it!

Senior cat loved the laser pointer. Junior cat loved to chase senior cat chasing the laser pointer.

My dog Misha loves the laser pointer. Except she finally realized where the light was coming from and would just try to catch it at the source...lol

L and I have had a hard week. I needed a double session on Wednesday because it was unresolved. It is still unresolved until she can consult with other colleagues. But I'm feeling a lot better than I have the rest of this week. I'm a little sad though. She gave me her blanket to help soothe me and get me to sleep Wednesday night. I have to give it back today. I absolutely loved having it. A part of me wants to keep it, but I also want to give it back to "recharge" it/get her smell on it again. I'm going to ask her what perfume/soap does she use. I hope that's not weird or boundary crossing.

My chihuahua will play with whatever detritus comes his way. He likes to act like he has a live playmate, judging by the overly exaggerated moves he makes at it - they are the same ones he makes when playing with other dogs or with me, only he's forced to animate the inanimate. For example, he likes tussling with baby carrots and scrub brushes. He tosses them around, rolling around on his back to catch. He goes down on his forelegs with his tiny bottom and curled tail in the air, goes really still. Doing that thing dogs do when they're playing where they're frozen before making a sudden move or feint. Sometimes he even does this with his kibble. He'll carry a piece over somewhere, then slap at it with his paw and respond with delight that it moves. It's pretty cute.

I understand about the blanket @ScarletPimpernel Even though I try to tell myself I am not that attached to Regular T, I'd love to have one of her millions of cardigans wrapped around me and feel her warmth transferred to me. It's never going to happen but it is nice to think about! When former T was sick towards the end of our time together, when she had gotten the DX of MS, I made her a blanket, a flannel one. I wonder if she still has it. I hope she does. I hope she thinks of me when she uses it/if she uses it.

I love this

Uuuugh I just got called in to work the ICU on Sunday. I hate the ICU on weekends because the attending isn't there. And it means I'm going to have to work seven days in a row and won't get a two-day weekend for another five weeks.

Fml.

Ugh, that sucks...

That sucks, chihiro. Have you thought about a doctoring specialty with banker's hours? I don't know what that would be. Dermatology, maybe?

I am in a (dormant) online hiking group, in which an event was posted of another online hiking group. I signed up, but found out later that my ex therapist is in that second hiking group (we both liked each other and acknowledged this, but we terminated in a sad way 4 months ago). It's easy to see who's joining what event. Hence I can easily avoid all events he's joining, because I don't want to infringe on his privacy and on his 'space'.
I feel like I should leave the second online group altogether, but it's a small city I live in and there isn't much else like this. (I signed up for an event shortly after it was posted, he didn't, but the other event that day that takes place every week was cancelled, so now I feel like I 'took away' his opportunity to do something with the group that day). Anyway, I was thinking to myself and I realised that I DO want to see him again, doesn't really matter in what way, but the possibility of meeting him of course re-emerged through this digital encounter. (I'd never do it ofc). The realisation that I (still) want to see him made me cry

I'll discuss my feelings around all of this with my current T next week, and possibly with my ex T to make sure we all know what's going on. I suppose I am mostly worried that he may think I'm trying to get in touch with him in this way. But also it's important that I don't automatically deny myself my own freedom to the benefit of others. In this case I do think it's best for me to back down a little, but that means I cannot do something I would like to do and which would also be quite healthy for me because it's an easy way to incorporate hiking and it means meeting new people. I'll discuss it anyway to see if there's other ways of viewing it

L is allowing me to keep the blanket for now! I'm happy.

Couchies, I just realized something. I was cooking in the kitchen, and it just popped into my head: I am happy.

I'm happy. There are sad things and hard things, of course. I am always tired and barely have time to sit down between work and school and homeschooling, and being a friend and sister and mom, and trying to make sure people have clothes to wear and don't stick to the kitchen floor. But the next layer down is peace.

I feel like I'm stepping back into my skin. (Whoa. I had to stop for a minute. Typing that unexpectedly made me cry really really hard. Relief, I think.)

It’s such a lovely feeling when the source of toxicity is out of ons’s life.

I'd drink to that!

It makes me happy every time I whip my eggs counterclockwise. (2ex threw a tantrum unless I stirred them clockwise. )

I have been unusually active today. I mowed a lot of yard the bits that werent several inches under water and i started planting my hedge plants and my heliconias that are going to screen my back fence from the neighbours hopefully

Ooo, I have some of those too.

It's like the grownup version of "Reasons my toddler is crying." Except not cute.

I get not wanting to be in debt- but if there's zero interest at all I personally wouldn't touch my savings to clear the amount in full. My mother got a letter about an over payment from HMRC they had the option of even £15.00 a month- they don't care as long as are willing to pay something.

Ophthalmology!!!!

I loved it because it was so chilled.

You also have the choice of training further if you want surgeries too.

What about radiology, pathology or psychiatry?

Listening to Micheal buble :

Me too!

I'm proud of you WFS and how far you've come.

I would also put up a sign saying "beware of the stinging nettle".