[Lemoncake]

Anything you would like to say to your therapist, big or small... post it here.

[SlumberKitty]

Dear T: I'm not sure how I should feel about the whole you not calling me when you said you would. I understand you had a client in crisis. You also had me in crisis. Argh. This stuff is too difficult to sort out. Kit

[susannahsays]

The grey cat cries herself to sleep every night because you didn't want her.

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by susannahsays

The grey cat cries herself to sleep every night because you didn't want her.

Oh that's so sad.

[LostOnTheTrail]

I'm doing everything I can at the moment to try and keep the waves of vulnerability from coming, but it doesn't seem to be working.
I don't want to be Soluble Lost. I really don't.

Originally Posted by susannahsays

The grey cat cries herself to sleep every night because you didn't want her.

Why are they all so selfish?

[Lostislost]

Have a nice break, I really hope you do, I'm not going to message you or anything and be annoying don't worry.

[ArtieTheSequal]

I am looking forward to seeing you tomorrow even if it is just online. I sure hope you bring your best t self. I need that.

[Polibeth]

Thank you so much for your support re: my job. It means a lot that you think it's too unsafe to return to as well.

[kaleidoscopeheart]

Hey T,

I could really use an update on the question I sent you last week..... or maybe its a dumb idea and I should have never asked it in the first place.....

[LostOnTheTrail]

Feel like I'm on the edge again. I really don't want to break down in session tomorrow.

[SlumberKitty]

Dear T: thanks for calling me last night. Even though we only talked for maybe 5 minutes it was so good to hear your voice. I felt reassured. I know you were assessing me but it was still nice. And it's nice that you are going to call again to check in on me before Saturday. I'm really going to try to journal this time. Kit

[LostOnTheTrail]

I felt awkward about requesting that check in. Hoping everything is alright with you, as I would have thought I'd have heard from you.
Hoping that Soluble Lost won't make an appearance in tomorrow's session.

[Mountaindewed]

How come everything you do/say turns me on? You say something like “thank you” or even just look at me, and it will completely flood my basement.

[ArtieTheSequal]

I hope h will respect my privacy this afternoon when it's time for my session. I'll be wearing my work headset so he won't hear you, but he could still hear me if he tries. I tried taking my computer out in the backyard last night but internet connection was too weak so that won't work, and it wouldn't work in the garage either, so I'm going to have to ask him to please respect my privacy, watch TV in the other room and not interrupt me/us. I hope this works!

[Elio]

Dear Dr. S, Yeah, I am thinking about taking a break. I feel like if I bring it up, I'm just blackmailing you. I had another email where I told you I was quitting therapy. This has been the 3rd one since the first of the year. I'm just not sure of the point of it right now. At the same time, I feel myself sliding downwards. And the fact that I'm slightly mad at you/with you is probably the indicator that I should stay. Do we need to talk about the emailing or me simply stopping going to be fine. Will you read it as "acting out"? maybe it is. - me

[Mountaindewed]

So based on my email about today’s events, I feel like I’m going to get talked to tomorrow. Actually based on this whole weeks worth of emails, I’m going to get a lecture. I’m going to really try though to be productive in the session. I’m already trying by not going to bed early. So I don’t wake up early.

[daisydid]

You could have just said that you hope everything works out, see you next week, but you didn’t. You showed that you cared. Thank you.

[LonesomeTonight]

Dear T,
Today's session affected me more than it may have seemed. I wasn't all weepy like Monday. But we discussed some intense stuff, like the teacher, what happened freshman year of college.... You apologized for bringing the one thing up, but it clearly ties in. Maybe we need to process all of that more. Maybe some of that is the key to what's going on with me now. With ex-MC, the pandemic, everything. Like, it's all coming to the surface now. Maybe this is the time to process it, when it's raw?

And thanks for confirming that you're OK with my attachment to you, that you feel I've been respectful of your boundaries. We've come a long way from "creepy." And your use of "us" to address some of that felt nice. Felt less clinical. I mean, I know it's a professional relationship, but you also don't have to keep beating me over the head with it. It's nice when you can just refer to it more as a relationship. Because that's what it is.

Love you,
LT

[ArtieTheSequal]

Thank you, thank you, times about a zillion for today. It was exactly what I needed. While I definitely do not want to go back into long-term therapy with you, I am thinking about the possibility of doing maybe a short series of sessions (maybe 3 or 4?) to flesh out more of the dream work we did today. If you're open to that. I need to think about it some more. I knew this was going to happen. Navajo rabbit. But you're just so damn skilled at dream work.....

ps I am looking forward to your re-done video!!

[WastingAsparagus]

Dear T:

How is anyone happy in this world right now? I don't understand. Please illuminate this for me. I don't understand how anyone can really have an ounce of joy right now. It just doesn't make any sense. Am I doing something wrong? What can I do differently? I take medicine, I see you, I go to peer support meetings. What else could I do? I just feel extremely isolated, lonely, and like I have 0 meaning in life right now.

[Lemoncake]

ENT exam dates not released so I'm thinking there won't be a slot next week.

[LostOnTheTrail]

'This communicates so much...'

I cannot communicate whilst I am crying.
I hate Emotional Lost.

[susannahsays]

I still feel like you were mad and annoyed with me today.

Do you think I'm having a good time? Does it seem like that could possibly be true? Why would I choose to live like this? Please tell me, I really want to know.

That was some CBT ******** you were spewing today and I didn't care for it. Like I can just think my way out of this hole. Because your concept of my reality must of course be more accurate than my lived experience.

And don't state your perception as objective reality. What is not overwhelming to you may be overwhelming to me, and vice versa. Whether something should be overwhelming or not is irrelevant. My brain doesn't care about your rules for what should and should not cause me anxiety.

[ArtieTheSequal]

I typed up an email to you this morning telling you the rest of the answer to your question near the end of our session, then proceeded to make changes to it over the next 3 hours, and then ultimately ended up sending it to myself so i wouldn't lose it. i'm not ready to tell you yet that it's the relationship that i'm afraid of not just the work. i'm afraid of losing myself in it again if I come back to therapy with you. Cuz that's what had happened, I can see that now after being away for awhile. One session (yesterday) was okay, I wasn't worried about it, but how long would it be if I came back weekly before it happened again? I know I need to do the work i know those dreams were showing me that it's time to do my shadow work i know this. i feel this. i want to do it with you because you know my psyche so well and all but... i don't know how to not get lost in the relationship again. I don't know if that even makes any sense. I don't have any better words for it, I think I want to talk about it though. Because by talking about it maybe I can understand it better. I want to call you and schedule a couple-3 more sessions. I don't think it'll happen in that short amount of time...