Home Menu

Menu


Closed Thread
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #251  
Old Jul 01, 2020, 06:05 PM
Echos Myron redux Echos Myron redux is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 2,171
Well, you just made the 4 year old want you more. Do you have to be so sweet and loving?
Hugs from:
chihirochild, downandlonely, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty

advertisement
  #252  
Old Jul 01, 2020, 07:14 PM
ArtieTheSequal's Avatar
ArtieTheSequal ArtieTheSequal is offline
Starting a new chapter!
 
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,728
That was super-duper hard you know. i honestly didn't think i would be able to face you again. my guilt complex is one hell of a nasty beast that pulls me under so deep. you saw just how deep, that I wasn't even there for a few minutes. Who DOES live at the center of it?! I don't ****ing know but whoever he is scares the living hell out of me. You asked me how I finally got out of it, all I could think of was by sheer force of stubborn will. You asked what I saw - I said I did not see myself - but I felt oh how I felt and I did not like how I felt and I used my stubbornness to force myself to look at your face on my screen and to force my body to stop fidgeting and to push words out of my mouth even though the guilt monster was trying to clamp my mouth closed. Damn, L. That sucked. My shadow is terrifying. And now it is storming outside, how ****ing fitting. Thank you for sticking with me through that mess.

Last edited by ArtieTheSequal; Jul 01, 2020 at 07:43 PM.
Hugs from:
downandlonely, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
  #253  
Old Jul 01, 2020, 07:16 PM
ArtieTheSequal's Avatar
ArtieTheSequal ArtieTheSequal is offline
Starting a new chapter!
 
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,728
Quote:
Originally Posted by Echos Myron redux View Post
Well, you just made the 4 year old want you more. Do you have to be so sweet and loving?

I am relating to this. My birthday is Saturday and when L asked me a few minutes ago during my session which birthday (she thought I was 55, bless her heart) I said that today I was feeling 58 going on 5.
Hugs from:
Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
  #254  
Old Jul 01, 2020, 07:45 PM
ArtieTheSequal's Avatar
ArtieTheSequal ArtieTheSequal is offline
Starting a new chapter!
 
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,728
oh and L, do NOT ever call me that word again. I don't care if it IS my shadow. Don't do it. Just, don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last edited by ArtieTheSequal; Jul 01, 2020 at 09:02 PM.
Hugs from:
downandlonely, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
  #255  
Old Jul 02, 2020, 11:26 AM
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
Dear T: Thanks for randomly texting me out of the blue letting me know you are thinking of me. That was sweet. It was also a little strange. I'm mostly pleased that you did that, and a little puzzled. It seems weird that you were the one to initiate contact, but then, it was such a nice contact. Confusing feelings, T. Confusing feelings. Wish I could see you in person. Kit
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
Hugs from:
Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight
  #256  
Old Jul 02, 2020, 01:33 PM
Lemoncake's Avatar
Lemoncake Lemoncake is offline
Roses are falling.
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 10,062
Maybe it would be better to go back down to one session a week for the rest of july before you leave for august.
__________________
Hugs from:
ArtieTheSequal, SlumberKitty
  #257  
Old Jul 02, 2020, 01:56 PM
ArtieTheSequal's Avatar
ArtieTheSequal ArtieTheSequal is offline
Starting a new chapter!
 
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,728
even though you upset me yesterday by calling me that word I cannot abide and i was who knows where for awhile and it was so hard and uncomfortable all the way around I still wish I could see you more than once a week the rest of this month because if I did, we could probably power through this ****. but you only gave me 2 more sessions - in 2 weeks and then 2 more weeks, and I didn't ask why. Maybe you're finally sick of me and wanting to get rid of me for good. I hope so. I really hope so. Because that would mean that you wouldn't send me emails like some ambulance chaser that make me want to come back. I never would have called you this time - if you hadn't emailed letting me know you were available.


And, you were really hard on me yesterday. i hope it was just your version of tough love or something. We'll see what happens in 2 weeks and I may or may not cancel the one after that. I mean ****, I can beat myself up way better than you can and save the hundred bucks.
Hugs from:
downandlonely, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
susannahsays
  #258  
Old Jul 02, 2020, 03:13 PM
susannahsays's Avatar
susannahsays susannahsays is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,356
I hope you don't have COVID... I feel like grilling you about your symptoms but that would be inappropriate. Besides, seems like everything is possibly a symptom of COVID.
__________________
Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face.
-David Gerrold
Hugs from:
ArtieTheSequal, downandlonely, LonesomeTonight, MissUdy, SlumberKitty, unaluna
  #259  
Old Jul 02, 2020, 06:08 PM
MissUdy MissUdy is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2020
Location: Wales
Posts: 197
You said you messaged me accidentally on purpose and that the unconscious makes us do things like that sometimes, That nothing is really and accident....and that you were glad you did it. Then you did it some more. Now you ignore it completely. How can this be about me? What is going on please? Who logged in to my account and removed everything? I’m so upset and confused and now I don’t have you to turn to.
Hugs from:
downandlonely, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, unaluna
  #260  
Old Jul 02, 2020, 09:19 PM
ArtieTheSequal's Avatar
ArtieTheSequal ArtieTheSequal is offline
Starting a new chapter!
 
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,728
I sure hope things go more smoothly when we talk again in 2 weeks.
Hugs from:
downandlonely, LonesomeTonight, MissUdy, SlumberKitty
  #261  
Old Jul 02, 2020, 09:59 PM
WastingAsparagus's Avatar
WastingAsparagus WastingAsparagus is offline
Philosopher
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,745
Dear T:

I feel like calling you tomorrow about my decision-making. I guess I don't know why I make big decisions so often, but I'd like to at least talk about it with you.
__________________
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”

Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, MissUdy, SlumberKitty, unaluna
  #262  
Old Jul 02, 2020, 10:03 PM
ArtieTheSequal's Avatar
ArtieTheSequal ArtieTheSequal is offline
Starting a new chapter!
 
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,728
then again, perhaps, this is the way it has to be right now.
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
  #263  
Old Jul 02, 2020, 10:16 PM
nottrustin's Avatar
nottrustin nottrustin is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,823
Long term T, I miss you like hell. Today as I was leaving work I needed to go the way I use to go when I had an appointment with you. I had this tingling moment and felt like I would see you for a moment. Then reality hit. The last week alphas been really hard. Current T has been great, but I can't help but want to compassionate understanding and hug. The realization that it will never happen again is really painful. You always encouraged me to trust EMDR T and I do. She is great but she will never be you. How do I move on?
__________________

Hugs from:
ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, MissUdy, SlumberKitty, unaluna
  #264  
Old Jul 02, 2020, 11:34 PM
velcro003's Avatar
velcro003 velcro003 is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Oct 2008
Posts: 7,383
Hey T: I'm a little worried we didn't talk today. Hopefully we will tomorrow? If not, you forgot me I guess.
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, MissUdy, SlumberKitty, unaluna
  #265  
Old Jul 03, 2020, 01:41 AM
Lemoncake's Avatar
Lemoncake Lemoncake is offline
Roses are falling.
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 10,062
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal View Post
even though you upset me yesterday by calling me that word I cannot abide and i was who knows where for awhile and it was so hard and uncomfortable all the way around I still wish I could see you more than once a week the rest of this month because if I did, we could probably power through this ****. but you only gave me 2 more sessions - in 2 weeks and then 2 more weeks, and I didn't ask why. Maybe you're finally sick of me and wanting to get rid of me for good. I hope so. I really hope so. Because that would mean that you wouldn't send me emails like some ambulance chaser that make me want to come back. I never would have called you this time - if you hadn't emailed letting me know you were available.


And, you were really hard on me yesterday. i hope it was just your version of tough love or something. We'll see what happens in 2 weeks and I may or may not cancel the one after that. I mean ****, I can beat myself up way better than you can and save the hundred bucks.
Artie bean,

Could you ask her for an extra session? She might just have assumed wrongly you're okay with one a week

.
__________________
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty, unaluna
Thanks for this!
ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight
  #266  
Old Jul 03, 2020, 04:23 AM
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
LostOnTheTrail LostOnTheTrail is offline
Human Feeling
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,827
Thank you.

The Critic has been wittering about your use of the word 'despair', as if I was the one to use it.
Just because I don't want it to be true...that doesn't mean it isn't.

I am in a great deal of emotional pain at the moment.
__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, MissUdy, SlumberKitty, unaluna
  #267  
Old Jul 03, 2020, 01:12 PM
Salmon77 Salmon77 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: PNW
Posts: 1,394
I am really, hideously depressed, and you are on vacation. Sigh.
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, unaluna
  #268  
Old Jul 03, 2020, 02:03 PM
Anonymous41549
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
You need therapy.
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, unaluna
Thanks for this!
MissUdy
  #269  
Old Jul 03, 2020, 03:44 PM
velcro003's Avatar
velcro003 velcro003 is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Oct 2008
Posts: 7,383
You did forget me didn’t you? I feel sort of bad for texting, but at least we’ll talk soon.
Hugs from:
ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, unaluna
  #270  
Old Jul 03, 2020, 07:45 PM
ArtieTheSequal's Avatar
ArtieTheSequal ArtieTheSequal is offline
Starting a new chapter!
 
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,728
i had a long kinda complicated dream last night. and this morning after i wrote it all down, i spent some more time writing a story about little artie and her shadow. it's going to be a long 2 weeks but don't worry I am not going to bother you. You didn't give me any options re: the scheduling so I'm assuming that means there aren't any.
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
  #271  
Old Jul 03, 2020, 08:50 PM
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 22,079
Dear T,
I feel like you care more about my well-being than my H does. Or at least you consider aspects of it that likely wouldn't even occur to him. I know you're a professional, so it's more natural for you to consider some of that stuff. I still think it's a problem. Not in the sense of ET, because I think I generally don't have that toward you, aside from fleeting moments. But more in the sense of...my H *should* consider some of that stuff. He should be more concerned about my emotional well-being. You don't react that much to my crying, but you still seem to react more than he does. I'm pretty sure I've seen you wipe away tears in response to things I've said, most recently today. I haven't seen H do that, even if I'm sitting here on the couch sobbing.

H yelled at me tonight (and at D), so that's likely coloring some of this. My brain jumps to emailing you, but it's a holiday weekend, and we just had an email exchange Wed-Thurs. I'll just try to tell myself what I think you'd say to me. And then maybe we can talk about it Monday, unless more pressing matters have come up by then.


And, OK, I keep thinking about how you looked almost stricken when I said how I appreciated what you said in the email, how I'm not alone and how I read that to be how this is affecting so many people, and that I appreciate you suggesting that it's affecting you, too. I would have discussed what I sensed from your reaction, but it was the end of session on a holiday weekend. Still, I guess I just wished you'd said, "I'm glad it was helpful." I feel the times you reveal some of yourself, put yourself out there a bit, it's like I need to just appreciate it without acknowledging it to you. I wish you could just understand and accept how it helps me, without making it into some other thing. Because if I say something, then you might get all weird. It's OK to let yourself out there a bit. It doesn't make this like it was with ex-MC. It's a very different relationship. And I value it.
Love,
LT
Hugs from:
ArtieTheSequal, downandlonely, ElectricManatee, Lonelyinmyheart, SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
elisewin
  #272  
Old Jul 04, 2020, 10:04 AM
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
LostOnTheTrail LostOnTheTrail is offline
Human Feeling
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,827
Still having a difficult landing after Thursday's conversation.
Finished work, deep breaths, don't give in to the wave of feeling.
All this crying feels really ****ing childish.
__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
Hugs from:
ArtieTheSequal, downandlonely, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
  #273  
Old Jul 04, 2020, 04:20 PM
ArtieTheSequal's Avatar
ArtieTheSequal ArtieTheSequal is offline
Starting a new chapter!
 
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,728
L, I did the piece of homework re: what i want to do today for my bday. I have already done 2 of the things. The 3rd will be as soon as h wakes up from his nap, we're going to drive through our local National Park and then my son and his gf are coming over and bringing dinner that we will share outside on my patio in a socially distanced fashion.


I am grateful for your being honest with me this past week even thought it was a really tough session.

Last edited by ArtieTheSequal; Jul 04, 2020 at 07:14 PM.
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
  #274  
Old Jul 04, 2020, 05:37 PM
Mountaindewed's Avatar
Mountaindewed Mountaindewed is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 42,249
This weekend has been ok so far. I’ve been doing good with my mindfulness and not worrying too much. I’ve been sleeping better and I told you that was the problem. I’m not sure how to bring up the SI on Wednesday night and the bad physical affects I had from it. They were pretty bad Wednesday night and all day Thursday. I’m not sure you necessarily have the power to hospitalize me 5 days later. But last time this happened I think you said you would if it happened again. So I’m not sure. I hinted at it in the couple emails I sent. You’ll probably have questions. You want me to be honest. I know.
__________________
"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka
Hugs from:
downandlonely, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
  #275  
Old Jul 04, 2020, 08:08 PM
atisketatasket's Avatar
atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
Child of a lesser god
 
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,394
Dear Info,

Outwardly just fine. Struggling badly inside.

ATAT
Hugs from:
chihirochild, downandlonely, Lemoncake, SlumberKitty, unaluna
Closed Thread
Views: 68503

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:13 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.